Showing posts with label Ames. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ames. Show all posts

Monday, February 12, 2018

August Ames Toxicology Report: Late Porn Star Had Cocaine, Other Drugs in Her System

In early December of 2017, porn actress August Ames committed suicide following a series of controversial tweets that nearly tore the porn industry in half.


This tragedy was mourned by both her supporters and her detractors, but some pointed the finger at the online backlash that she had received.


Now, the toxicology report has finally been completed. What light does this shed on her death at 23?



It all started with a tweet, when August Ames shared what she believed was a warning to fellow porn actresses:


“whichever (lady) performer is replacing me tomorrow for @EroticaXNews , you’re shooting with a guy who has shot gay porn, just to let cha know. BS is all I can say? Do agents really not care about who they’re representing? #ladirect I do my homework for my body.”


Yes, she was wrong, and we’ll get into that in a moment. But that does not in any way make her death less tragic.


She went on to defend herself from the backlash.


“NOT homophobic. Most girls don’t shoot with guys who have shot gay porn, for safety. That’s just how it is with me. I’m not putting my body at risk, i don’t know what they do in their private lives.”


It’s no secret that the porn industry can be miserable for women. It sounds like it might not be that fun for bisexual men, either.


“How am I homophobic if I myself am attracted to women? Not wanting to have sex with gay men is not homophobic; they don’t want to have sex with me either. So byeeeee.”



August then tried to slam people, particularly within her own industry, for what she perceived as hypocrisy and mixed messages.


“‘Choose who YOU want to work with’ ‘Don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable’ ‘Share your thoughts’ Hmm. Well, I did all three, and twitter took a dump on me.”


For the record, though that is all good advise, if the thoughts that you want to share are bigoted or even just appear to be so, it might be a good time to not speak up. But, again, we sincerely wish that she were still alive.


“I don’t have anything to apologize for! Apologizing for taking extra steps to ensue that my body stays safe? F–k you guys attacking me when none of my intentions were malicious. I fucking love the gay community! What the f–k ever! I CHOOSE who I have inside my body. No hate.”


She tweeted something not unusual to see on a porn star’s Twitter, but some wondered if it was how she was coping with the backlash:


“Coffee & weed.”


Finally, August Ames sounded fed up:


“F–k y’all.”



The backlash was intense. Too intense, in fact.


Obviously, everyone has the right to refuse sex to anyone, at any time, for any reason.


But people can also have some truly terrible reasons.


Some porn stars will refuse to film scenes with black men for fear that it will “lower their value” as performers and cause them to get paid less in the future.


(Yeah, it’s horrifying — that’s perhaps less of an indictment of the women who decline than it is of all of society for being racist)


In this case, we’re talking about a bigoted belief that a man who films porn with other men but undergoes the same STI screening that she does — is any more likely than any other porn star to have HIV.


It’s not true — anal sex increases the risk of HIV transmission relative to venereal intercourse, but obviously that doesn’t preclude straight porn stars from getting infected. Particularly those who film anal scenes with women.



At what point does backlash amount to bullying? That can be difficult to determine.


But August Ames’ cause of death was suicide by hanging. It is difficult to look at her tragic death as anything but the consequence of the controversy that preceded it.


Remember when we suggested that her toxicology report might shed further light on her state of mind when she took her own life?


The Blast obtained August Ames’ toxicology report, and her system contained signs that she had taken:


-Sertraline (generic Zoloft, a pretty standard SSRI antidepressant)


-Alprazolam (which is just generic Xanax)


-Cocaine


-Marijuana


-Seizure medication



Coupled with the knowledge that August Ames had attempted suicide in the past, it appears that the controversy and ensuing backlash were related to her death … but hardly the sole cause.


When someone struggles with suicidal depression, they don’t always need an excuse. One might conclude that the controversy was a catalyst, but that’s a guess at the most.


From that list of drugs, it appears that August was using both prescription and non-prescription means of attempting to combat her anxiety (with alprazolam and marijuana and likely the seizure medication) and to beat a particularly bad depressive episode (the sertraline and cocaine).


We all long for a day when people hold more enlightened views. We also long for a day when people on social media understand nuance and compassion and can show a modicum of chill.


The backlash could have been a discussion. Perhaps then, August Ames wouldn’t have died at 23.



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Thursday, December 7, 2017

August Ames: Controversial Porn Star"s Tragic Cause of Death Revealed

Even in 2017, this story was positively surreal.


Just two days after straight porn star August Ames made waves with her controversial and homophobic statements, she died by suicide at the age of 23. It was mysterious, strange, and sad.


And now we know exactly how she died.



August Ames, whose real names was Mercedes Grabowski, was a straight porn actress whose homophobic tweet and ensuing defense of it made the rounds earlier this week.


It all started with a tweet of hers:


“Whichever (lady) performer is replacing me tomorrow for @EroticaXNews, you’re shooting with a guy who has shot gay porn, just to let cha know. BS is all I can say [shrug emoji] Do agents really not care about who they’re representing? #ladirect I do my homework for my body.”


So, what she’s clearly saying here is that she believes that gay men, bi men, or a straight man who has had sex with a man for money (plenty of male porn actors have sex with people they wouldn’t choose to date — money is money) is more likely to have secretly contracted an STI.


(The porn industry tests its performers regularly, particularly those who film bareback — as most of them do)



This is a complicated issue, because as August Ames said herself while defending herself on Twitter, it’s her body and her choice.


Which is fine. Being a sex worker does not in any way negate your bodily autonomy or grand automatic consent or whatever.


You know what’s not fine?


Bigotry.


Some sex workers refuse to do scenes with a man who’s had sex with a man. Some sex workers refuse to do scenes with black men. That’s their right.


In both cases, though, it sure looks a lot like prejudice. And the assumption that a man who has done gay porn is more likely to be diseased than someone else, well, that reeks of some anti-gay beliefs.


Her tweet was further complicated by the fact that she was “warning” some unknown other woman, as if she believed that all women shared her prejudiced belief.


“don’t have anything to apologize for!” she tweeted.


“Apologizing for taking extra steps to ensue that my body stays safe?”


Obviously, she would not have faced this kind of backlash if she were just a performer who always had her costars wear condoms (though that can be a career-killer). It’s because he “precautions” were so targeted that she was controversial.


“F–k you guys attacking me when none of my intentions were malicious. I f–king love the gay community!”


Given her other tweets, people read that as “I love these disease-prone, untrustworthy folks!”


“What the f–k ever! I CHOOSE who I have inside my body. No hate.”


A lot of people wanted for her to understand that her views did not reflect reality and that her beliefs were mistaken.


Though some of the responses to her tweets were extreme, the vast majority did not want her to die.



Unfortunately, on Tuesday, December 5th, news broke that August Ames had died at the age of 23.


23 is young — young enough that she could have later grown and realized the error of her beliefs. She’s not the first to have some problematic opinions at 23? 


For a little perspective, we’re talking about a woman who was probably too young to have told you where she was and what she was doing on 9/11.


August died by suicide, but the circumstances and manner of her death were unknown.


Until now.



HollywoodLife reports that the The Ventura County Medical Examiner Media spokesperson shared August Ames’ cause of death:


“Mercedes Grabowski died of asphyxia due to hanging. [The] manner is suicide.”


That is the medical examiner’s determination.


The toxicology report (those never get finished as quickly as they do on police procedurals) has yet to come back, and may be illuminating regarding Ames’ state of mind.


We can only assume that the backlash played a role in her mental state before she took her own life.



August Ames has amassed more than 270 credits in the porn industry since 2013. She’ll be missed by fans, fellow adult performers, and of course by her friends.


Her husband, Kevin Moore, has asked for privacy as he mourns his wife.


Whatever anyone may think of August Ames’ statements, this is a tragedy.


A young woman lost her life. Many people lost a friend and loved one.


And the important discussion about STIs, homophobia, and sex workers? That will wait for another time.



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Wednesday, December 6, 2017

August Ames: Porn Star Commits Suicide at 23 Following Homophobia Scandal

Shocking news from the world of adult film today, as beloved performer-turned-controversial figure August Ames has been found dead.


The actress was just 23 years old.


Though no official cause of death has been given, it’s being widely reported that Ames (real name Mercedes Grabowski) took her own life.



The news comes on the heels of a controversy involving statements made by Ames about her refusal to film a scene with an actor who had previously starred in gay pornography films. 


 “Whichever (lady) performer is replacing me tomorrow for @EroticaXNews, you’re shooting with a guy who has shot gay porn, just to let cha know,” Ames tweeted on December 3.


“BS is all I can say. Do agents really not care about who they’re representing? #LAdirect I do my homework for my body.”


Ames later clarified that she did not intend for her statement to be construed as homophobic.


The performer in question, Jaxton Wheeler, has come under fire for a tweet in which he seemed to encourage Ames to commit suicide.



“The world is awaiting your apology or for you to take a cyanide pill. Either or we’ll take it,” Wheeler wrote.


Today, he’s posted several tweets clarifying that he had no intention of encouraging any bullying or online harassment:


“Emotions will be high today, I think it’s best to reflect and take away from this, I’m not asking for prior not to come at me, i know that will happen. But I’m gutted by this too,” Wheeler tweeted.


Ames’ final tweets reflect the increasingly hostile reaction to her original statement:


“F–k you guys for attacking me when none my intentions were malicious. I f–king love the gay community! What the f–k ever! I CHOOSE who I have inside my body. No hate,” she wrote on Monday.



Ames death was first reported by the trade magazine Adult Video News.


“She was the kindest person I ever knew and she meant the world to me,” her husband, director Kevin Moore, told AVN.


“Please leave this as a private family matter in this difficult time.”


Ames worked as a bartender prior to entering the adult film world in 2014.


In just under four years, she starred in more than 270 titles and took home many of the industry’s top prizes.



Many of her colleagues have taken to social media to pay tribute to the beloved performer:


“A beautiful life is GONE because people like to use their ‘fan base’ to bully others because THEIR opinion doesn’t agree with YOURS,” wrote Brett Rossi, a porn star and former girlfriend of Charlie Sheen’s.


“RIP to a sweet, kind, soul…I’m so sad & so angry. A life wasted simply because HER opinion didn’t mesh with YOURS.”


Our thoughts go out to Ames’ loved ones during this difficult time.



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