In early December of 2017, porn actress August Ames committed suicide following a series of controversial tweets that nearly tore the porn industry in half.
This tragedy was mourned by both her supporters and her detractors, but some pointed the finger at the online backlash that she had received.
Now, the toxicology report has finally been completed. What light does this shed on her death at 23?
It all started with a tweet, when August Ames shared what she believed was a warning to fellow porn actresses:
“whichever (lady) performer is replacing me tomorrow for @EroticaXNews , you’re shooting with a guy who has shot gay porn, just to let cha know. BS is all I can say? Do agents really not care about who they’re representing? #ladirect I do my homework for my body.”
Yes, she was wrong, and we’ll get into that in a moment. But that does not in any way make her death less tragic.
She went on to defend herself from the backlash.
“NOT homophobic. Most girls don’t shoot with guys who have shot gay porn, for safety. That’s just how it is with me. I’m not putting my body at risk, i don’t know what they do in their private lives.”
It’s no secret that the porn industry can be miserable for women. It sounds like it might not be that fun for bisexual men, either.
“How am I homophobic if I myself am attracted to women? Not wanting to have sex with gay men is not homophobic; they don’t want to have sex with me either. So byeeeee.”
August then tried to slam people, particularly within her own industry, for what she perceived as hypocrisy and mixed messages.
“‘Choose who YOU want to work with’ ‘Don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable’ ‘Share your thoughts’ Hmm. Well, I did all three, and twitter took a dump on me.”
For the record, though that is all good advise, if the thoughts that you want to share are bigoted or even just appear to be so, it might be a good time to not speak up. But, again, we sincerely wish that she were still alive.
“I don’t have anything to apologize for! Apologizing for taking extra steps to ensue that my body stays safe? F–k you guys attacking me when none of my intentions were malicious. I fucking love the gay community! What the f–k ever! I CHOOSE who I have inside my body. No hate.”
She tweeted something not unusual to see on a porn star’s Twitter, but some wondered if it was how she was coping with the backlash:
“Coffee & weed.”
Finally, August Ames sounded fed up:
“F–k y’all.”
The backlash was intense. Too intense, in fact.
Obviously, everyone has the right to refuse sex to anyone, at any time, for any reason.
But people can also have some truly terrible reasons.
Some porn stars will refuse to film scenes with black men for fear that it will “lower their value” as performers and cause them to get paid less in the future.
(Yeah, it’s horrifying — that’s perhaps less of an indictment of the women who decline than it is of all of society for being racist)
In this case, we’re talking about a bigoted belief that a man who films porn with other men but undergoes the same STI screening that she does — is any more likely than any other porn star to have HIV.
It’s not true — anal sex increases the risk of HIV transmission relative to venereal intercourse, but obviously that doesn’t preclude straight porn stars from getting infected. Particularly those who film anal scenes with women.
At what point does backlash amount to bullying? That can be difficult to determine.
But August Ames’ cause of death was suicide by hanging. It is difficult to look at her tragic death as anything but the consequence of the controversy that preceded it.
Remember when we suggested that her toxicology report might shed further light on her state of mind when she took her own life?
The Blast obtained August Ames’ toxicology report, and her system contained signs that she had taken:
-Sertraline (generic Zoloft, a pretty standard SSRI antidepressant)
-Alprazolam (which is just generic Xanax)
-Cocaine
-Marijuana
-Seizure medication
Coupled with the knowledge that August Ames had attempted suicide in the past, it appears that the controversy and ensuing backlash were related to her death … but hardly the sole cause.
When someone struggles with suicidal depression, they don’t always need an excuse. One might conclude that the controversy was a catalyst, but that’s a guess at the most.
From that list of drugs, it appears that August was using both prescription and non-prescription means of attempting to combat her anxiety (with alprazolam and marijuana and likely the seizure medication) and to beat a particularly bad depressive episode (the sertraline and cocaine).
We all long for a day when people hold more enlightened views. We also long for a day when people on social media understand nuance and compassion and can show a modicum of chill.
The backlash could have been a discussion. Perhaps then, August Ames wouldn’t have died at 23.
