Stormy Daniels Writes at Length About Donald Trump"s "Unusual Penis"

Stormy Daniels is coming … out with a new book.

The strong and proud porn star has penned "Full Disclosure," a memoir that mostly details her affair with Donald Trump.

The affair took place prior to Trump being elected President and Daniels writes in the book that she was in literal shock as Trump continued to win primary after primary in 2016.

But who really cares about her political opinions, right?

We know you"re all here to read what Daniels had to say about sex with Trump, and we promise:

She does not let you down.

Consider yourself warned and then click through the following photos and slides to see to whom Stormy Daniels compares the President of the United States.

1. Wait, Stormy Daniels Wrote a Book?

Yes. Does this really come as a surprise? It will reportedly tell her “whole story for the first time” and it will be available for purchase on October 2.

2. Who is Stormy Daniels Again?

Here’s a quick refresher: Daniels slept with Trump in 2006. She says they only had this one sexual encounter, but that she kept in touch with Trump for several years afterward. One month before the 2016 Presidential Election, Trump has admitted to paying Daniels $ 130,000 in exchange for her silence over the affair.

3. HOWEVER…

Trump never signed this non-disclosure agreement and says he won’t be enforcing it and Daniels has been talking openly about their affair.

4. Oh, and Trump May Have Committed a Campaign Finance Violation with This Payment

It seems like he almost definitely did so. But that isn’t the point right now.

5. What IS the Point Right Now?

Explicitly, how Daniels described the President’s unit. She gets into GROSS detail about it in this book. Are you ready to read it? Are you certain?

6. Okay. Here It Is:

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…”

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The Bachelorette Couples: Ranked By Relationship Length!

If The Bachelorette spoilers are any indication, Becca Kufrin and Garrett Yrigoyen from Season 14 may have a real shot at love that lasts.

Specific issues regarding Garrett"s social media history aside, the two seem head over heels in love, so the odds of a wedding are good.

Or at least better than average.

If you just look at the venerable franchise"s track record, Becca and Garrett"s chances for long-term success are mixed at best.

Why do we say that?

Isn"t it obvious? This is a dating competition throwing two people together under a pretense that is literally impossible to sustain.

Can they transition into real life, establish a new normal and make it work? They can, but often times, they fall short of that goal.

We have ranked the 14 stars of The Bachelorette based on who was most successful at finding love during her stint as ABC"s queen.

See how they stack up from worst to first, and tell us whether you think Barrett will end up a success story or cautionary tale …

1. Jen Schefft

Bachelorette Jen Schefft broke up with winner Jerry Ferris on the After the Rose special because she just “wasn’t feeling it.” Not even making it to the day after the finale? That’s a low bar set for everyone else.

2. Emily Maynard

Emily Maynard and Jef Holm broke up just a few months after his proposal in 2012. He was never the right guy anyway. Should’ve picked Sean Lowe. Not that she or Sean (who is happily married to Catherine Giudici, who he met on The Bachelor) are overthinking it right now. Emily has since married and had a bunch of kids with Tyler Johnson.

3. Becca Kufrin

It’s too soon to tell how long Becca Kufrin and Garrett Yrigoyen will last, but they’re off to a good start? They’re one of seven Bachelorette couples still together, by our calculations, including the last three.

4. Andi Dorfman

Andi Dorfman found love with Josh Murray on The Bachelorette. Unfortunately, their engagement ended after only six months or so.

5. DeAnna Pappas

DeAnna Pappas and Jesse Csincsak broke up seven months after their finale aired. She went on to marry Stephen Stagliano, a high school teacher and the twin brother of former Bachelorette contestant Mike Stagliano!

6. Jillian Harris

Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski broke up one year after their finale aired. Swiderski later appeared on Bachelor Pad. Jillian now appears on HGTV’s Love it or List it Too.

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Farrah Abraham"s Mom Talks at Length About Daughter"s Vagina

The Hollywood Gossip has talked about Farrah Abraham"s vagina on far too many occasions.

We"ve had no choice, really, considering the Teen Mom OG star had surgery last year to rejuvenate this area of her body, publicizing the procedure for all to see because…

… well, we"re not really sure why.

That"s just how Farrah rolls.

Now, as much as we"d like to never discuss this topic again, Debra Danielsen has not given us that option.

Abraham has opened up to In Touch Weekly after her child"s new vagina, discussing at length her take on Farrah"s decision.

Scroll down if you really want to hear more about this…

1. That Fresh Feeling…

Abraham underwent vagina rejuvenation back in August of 2017. The procedure was performed with a wand that was inserted and moved back and forth for four minutes to tighten the walls of the uterus and was considered beneficial for sex because it makes the subject less wife. It also helps with moisture and lubrication.

2. Why Did She Do This?

Abraham talked at length about the decision with Radar Online last October, saying that her skin was “thicker, better and stronger” and that she noticed improved “sexual satisfaction.” (Clickon the above headline for more.)

3. But Who Would Have Sex with Farrah Abraham?

It’s a fair question. But not the topic we’re focusing on at the moment.

4. Isn’t She Only 26 Years Old?

Yes, and this is why Abraham received a lot of backlash for the procedure. On its own, vaginal rejuvenation is nothing to mock or insult someone over. Many women may really benefit from it. You just don’t often see someone this young undergo such a procedure because, to be frank, how much could a 26-year old’s vagina really need to be tightened?

5. Why Did She Publicize It So Much?

Ah yes. Here we go. Now we’re getting to the heart of the problem Farrah’s mom, Debra Danielsen, says she has with her daughter’s actions.

6. Says Farrah’s Mom:

“This whole thing about having surgery on your labia – do you know what that does to me? I’ve taken a lot of women’s study programs and it puts in my mind genital mutilation,” she tells In Touch. And this was far from all she has to say on the subkect…

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The Bachelor Stars: Ranked By Relationship Length!

Take heed, Arie Luyendyk Jr. and Lauren Burnham and all Bachelor couples of the future. Take heed. Time passes. Life happens.

Love – and fame – fades. Reality sinks in. And hits hard.

That sounds cynical, we know. But it"s also factual. The Bachelor stars have not had the best track record when it comes to love lasting.

How bad is it? Simply by virtue of being together a year later, Lauren Bushnell and Ben Higgins ranked among the biggest success stories.

And they still broke up! That says it all right there.

Nick Viall and Vanessa Grimaldi broke up after not even half that length of time after a relationship many felt was doomed from day one.

As for the latest case study beginning now?

Let"s just say Arie and Lauren are up against major obstacles (namely his inability to know what he wants), and the odds aren"t great. 

That"s probably putting it generously. The odds are poor. Check out the full Bachelor relationship rankings by length and see how poor …

1. Brad Womack

Brad Womack, in the first of his two stints as The Bachelor, takes the cake by not choosing to propose to, or even continue his relationship with, either of the final two women, Jenni Croft or DeAnna Pappas (pictured). Wow.

2. Arie Luyendyk Jr.

Well, at least Arie Luyendyk Jr. beat Brad by choosing someone at all. He dumped Becca Kufrin in a matter of weeks, though he turned around and got engaged to someone else from the show before the After the Final Rose special ended, so we suppose we’ll measure his romance with Lauren Burnham (pictured) instead. How long do you think they’ll last?

3. Brad Womack (Take 2)

In his second stint as The Bachelor, Brad Womack was briefly engaged to Emily Maynard. That ended pretty quickly, as she was single again in a couple of months.

4. Travis Stork

Dr. Travis Stork and Sara Stone were broken up so fast, they got to talk about it on the After the Final Rose special.

5. Jesse Palmer

Jesse Palmer, former NFL quarterback and current sports TV analyst, did not propose to Jessica Bowlin. They continued to date but broke up just weeks later.

6. Aaron Buerge

Aaron Buerge and Helene Eksterowicz also lasted a matter of weeks.

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The Bachelor Couples: Ranked By (SHORT) Relationship Length!

Take heed, Bachelor couples of the future. Take heed.

You may be blissfully in love and content beyond your wildest dreams right now (or not, based on last night"s After the Final Rose special).

In any case, even in the very best of romantic circumstances, love is often a losing game on The Bachelor, and for no fault of your own.

Time passes. Life happens. Love – and fame – fades.

That sounds cynical, we know. But it"s also factual. The Bachelor stars have not had the best track record when it comes to love lasting.

How bad is it? Simply by virtue of being together a year later, Lauren Bushnell and Ben Higgins ranked among the biggest success stories.

And they just broke up! That says it all right there.

Nick Viall and Vanessa Grimaldi broke up after not even half that length of time after a relationship many felt was doomed from day one.

Will any couple make it to the altar again?!

The jury"s still out on that, to say the least. Check out the full Bachelor relationship rankings by length and see how bad the odds are …

1. Brad Womack

Brad Womack, in the first of his two stints as The Bachelor, takes the cake by not choosing to propose to, or even continue his relationship with, either of the final two women, Jenni Croft or DeAnna Pappas (pictured). Wow.

2. Brad Womack (Take 2)

In his second stint as The Bachelor, Brad Womack was briefly engaged to Emily Maynard. That ended pretty quickly, as she was single again in a couple of months.

3. Travis Stork

Dr. Travis Stork and Sara Stone were broken up so fast, they got to talk about it on the After the Final Rose special.

4. Jesse Palmer

Jesse Palmer, former NFL quarterback and current sports TV analyst, did not propose to Jessica Bowlin. They continued to date but broke up just weeks later.

5. Aaron Buerge

Aaron Buerge and Helene Eksterowicz also lasted a matter of weeks.

6. Bob Guiney

Bob Guiney did not propose to Estella Gardinier, but gave her a promise ring indicating that they would still date … for like a month it turned out.

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The Bachelor Stars: Ranked By Relationship Length!

Take heed, Nick Viall and Vanessa Grimaldi. Take heed.

You may be blissfully in love and content beyond your wildest dreams right now (or not, based on last night"s After the Final Rose special).

In any case, even in the very best of romantic circumstances, love is often a losing game on The Bachelor, and for no fault of your own.

Time passes. Life happens. Fame – and the fire – fades.

That sounds cynical, we know. But it"s also factual. The Bachelor stars have not had the best track record when it comes to love lasting.

How bad is it? Simply by virtue of being together a year later, Lauren Bushnell and Ben Higgins rank among the biggest success stories.

And they just broke up! That says it all right there.

Think Nick and Vanessa have what it takes to make it to the altar? Or at least go down as one of the few couples who gave it a real shot?

The jury"s still out on that, to say the least. Check out the full Bachelor relationship rankings by length and see how bad the odds are …

1. Brad Womack

Brad Womack, in the first of his two stints as The Bachelor, takes the cake by not choosing to propose to, or even continue his relationship with, either of the final two women, Jenni Croft or DeAnna Pappas (pictured). Wow.

2. Brad Womack (Take 2)

In his second stint as The Bachelor, Brad Womack was briefly engaged to Emily Maynard. That ended pretty quickly, as she was single again in a couple of months.

3. Travis Stork

Dr. Travis Stork and Sara Stone were broken up so fast, they got to talk about it on the After the Final Rose special.

4. Jesse Palmer

Jesse Palmer, former NFL quarterback and current sports TV analyst, did not propose to Jessica Bowlin. They continued to date but broke up just weeks later.

5. Aaron Buerge

Aaron Buerge and Helene Eksterowicz also lasted a matter of weeks.

6. Bob Guiney

Bob Guiney did not propose to Estella Gardinier, but gave her a promise ring indicating that they would still date … for like a month it turned out.

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The Bachelor Stars: Ranked By (Short) Relationship Length!

Take heed, Nick Viall and Vanessa Grimaldi. Take heed.

You may be blissfully in love and content beyond your wildest dreams right now (or not, based on last night"s After the Final Rose special).

In any case, even in the very best of romantic circumstances, love is often a losing game on The Bachelor, and for no fault of your own.

Time passes. Life happens. Fame – and the fire – fades.

That sounds cynical, we know. But it"s also factual. The Bachelor stars have not had the best track record when it comes to love lasting.

How bad is it? Simply by virtue of being together a year later, Lauren Bushnell and Ben Higgins are sure to rank among the best ever.

In 21 seasons of the show. That says it all right there.

Think Nick and Vanessa have what it takes to make it to the altar? Or at least go down as one of the few couples who gave it a real shot?

The jury"s still out on that, to say the least. Check out the full Bachelor relationship rankings by length and see how bad the odds are …

1. Brad Womack

Brad Womack, in the first of his two stints as The Bachelor, takes the cake by not choosing to propose to, or even continue his relationship with, either of the final two women, Jenni Croft or DeAnna Pappas (pictured). Wow.

2. Brad Womack (Take 2)

In his second stint as The Bachelor, Brad Womack was briefly engaged to Emily Maynard. That ended pretty quickly, as she was single again in a couple of months.

3. Travis Stork

Dr. Travis Stork and Sara Stone were broken up so fast, they got to talk about it on the After the Final Rose special.

4. Jesse Palmer

Jesse Palmer, former NFL quarterback and current sports TV analyst, did not propose to Jessica Bowlin. They continued to date but broke up just weeks later.

5. Aaron Buerge

Aaron Buerge and Helene Eksterowicz also lasted a matter of weeks.

6. Bob Guiney

Bob Guiney did not propose to Estella Gardinier, but gave her a promise ring indicating that they would still date … for like a month it turned out.

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The Bachelorette: All 12 Stars Ranked By Relationship Length!

If The Bachelorette spoilers are any indication, JoJo Fletcher and her final rose winner on Season 12 of The Bachelorette are in trouble.

We"re not saying we wish anything negative, or that we have inside knowledge of their personal lives … but the rumors aren"t great.

Specific issues regarding Jordan Rodgers aside, even if you just look at overall odds, her prospects for long-term success are mixed.

At best.

Why do we say that? Isn"t it obvious? This is a dating competition throwing two people together under a pretense that is hard to sustain.

We have ranked the 12 stars of The Bachelorette based on who was most successful at finding love during her stint as ABC"s queen.

See how they stack up from worst to first, and tell us whether you think JoJo and JoRo will end up a success story or cautionary tale …

1. Jen Schefft

Bachelorette Jen Schefft broke up with winner Jerry Ferris on the After the Rose special because she just “wasn’t feeling it.”

2. Emily Maynard

Emily Maynard and Jef Holm broke up just a few months after his proposal in 2012. He was never the right guy anyway. Should’ve picked Sean.

3. JoJo Fletcher

She’s engaged to Jordan Rodgers and sure seems happy about that for now. But will the Season 12 star of The Bachelorette continue her rise to the top of this list … or quickly tank to the bottom? Or somewhere in between? TBA, Bachelor Nation. T.B.A.

4. Andi Dorfman

Andi Dorfman found love with Josh Murray on The Bachelorette. Unfortunately, their engagement ended after only six months or so.

5. DeAnna Pappas

DeAnna Pappas and Jesse Csincsak broke up seven months after their finale aired. She went on to marry Stephen Stagliano, a high school teacher and the twin brother of former Bachelorette contestant Mike Stagliano!

6. Jillian Harris

Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski broke up one year after their finale aired. Swiderski later appeared on Bachelor Pad. Jillian now appears on HGTV’s Love it or List it Too.

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The Bachelorette Stars: Ranked By Relationship Length!

If The Bachelorette spoilers are any indication, JoJo Fletcher has already fallen head over heels in love on Season 12 of The Bachelorette.

Even if she leaves the show engaged and over the moon, though, the Texas beauty"s prospects for long-term success are mixed. At best.

We have ranked the 11 stars of The Bachelorette based on who was most successful at finding love during her stint as ABC"s queen.

See how they stack up from worst to first!

1. Jen Schefft

Bachelorette Jen Schefft broke up with winner Jerry Ferris on the After the Rose special because she just “wasn’t feeling it.”

2. Emily Maynard

Emily Maynard and Jef Holm broke up just a few months after his proposal in 2012. He was never the right guy anyway. Should’ve picked Sean.

3. Andi Dorfman

Andi Dorfman found love with Josh Murray on The Bachelorette. Unfortunately, their engagement ended after only six months or so.

4. DeAnna Pappas

DeAnna Pappas and Jesse Csincsak broke up seven months after their finale aired. She went on to marry Stephen Stagliano, a high school teacher and the twin brother of former Bachelorette contestant Mike Stagliano!

5. Jillian Harris

Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski broke up one year after their finale aired. Swiderski later appeared on Bachelor Pad. Jillian now appears on HGTV’s Love it or List it Too.

6. Meredith Phillips

Meredith Phillips, the second Bachelorette, chose Ian McKee as her groom. The two broke up just over a year later.

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