Ariel Winter Celebrates Her Independence With Bikini Pics, Instagram Rejoices

Over the weekend millions of Americans guzzled domestic beer, grilled tubes of mystery meat and blew stuff up to celebrate the anniversary of the original Brexit.

We’ve done a lot of questionable things with our freedom over the centuries (Good luck explaining Hammer pants to your grandkids!), but surely we can all agree that Ariel Winter bikini photos might be the crowning achievement of 240 years of American gumption:

Sure we’ve seen Ariel’s huge boobs on countless occasions, but this time they’re celebratory, patriotic boobs!

The actress posted the photo on the left with a caption reading, “Will always look back at this #4thofjuly #fireworks #family #friends #beach”

So will we, Ariel. So will we.

The pic on the right had some lengthy caption about celebrating the birthday of “the most amazing twins on the planet.”

Amazingly, that’s not just Ariel’s nickname for her boobs.

As you can tell, Ariel and her swimwear collection had quite a holiday.

We think it’s important to take time to thank her for paying it forward by sharing her boobs joy with the world.

Sadly, Instagram didn’t exist in 1776 (we looked it up), but if it did, our founding fathers could have saved a lot of time by just emailing a link to these selfies instead of putting a bunch of words down on parchment just to have John Hancock take up all the best signing space like it’s a freakin’ birthday card.

When you think about, those breasts send the exact same message:

Freedom is awesome, and outlandish tariffs on tea and other imported goods will not be tolerated!

Or something.

“Who has time for history when there are boobs to look at?” – Benjamin Franklin*

*Not actually a quote from the Benjamin. Don’t go blaming us if your summer school social studies class again.

View Slideshow: Ariel Winter: 31 Pics of Our Favorite Modern Family Star!

Wife Texts Husband Crazy $hit He Says in His Sleep

God bless “LongTitlesMakeMeHappy."

An Imgur user whose real name is Aiden, this individual apparently talks in his sleep.

Often.

And his wife has take to jotting down the funniest things he says while getting his ZZZZZs, occasionally sending them to him as a text message.

Thankfully for the Internet, Aidan has since screen-shotted a bunch of these messages and shared them online.

Prepare to laugh hilariously in 3… 2… 1…

1. What About the Cats?!?

We really hope that person isn’t planning to harm any cats.

2. Beware of Shipments

Just… beware.

3. Belgians Are So Lucky

They get to be Belgium all the time!

4. So Much Better Than Grade 12

You really dodged a bullet there, honey!

5. Give Me Back My Medals!

How dare you do this to me?!?

6. SMASH TIME!

It’s getting close. It’s almost here!

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Johnny Depp Needs To Stop Getting Tattoos In The Name of Love

It’s an unwritten rule that you should never, ever get a tattoo of or pertaining to a significant other.

While it’s wonderful that you think the relationship will last as long as the ink, there’s always a chance it won’t.  

Then you’re left with a permanent memory of heartbreak, and that’s just a bummer.

Such is the case for Johnny Depp, who changed the tattoo on his four fingers from “SLIM” to “SCUM” recently.  It’s believed that “SLIM” referred to his estranged wife, 30-year-old Amber Heard.

Depp is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Heard, who filed in late May.  

The actress alleges that Depp was physically abusive towards her, and provided a few media outlets with photo proof.

Depp also blacked out a pin-up model resembling Heard.

This isn’t the first time Depp has publicly declared his love via tattoos.  

When he was engaged to Edward Scissorhands co-star, Winona Ryder, Depp got “Winona Forever” tattooed on his bicep.

After they broke up, he changed it to “Wino Forever.”

Good one.

View Slideshow: Johnny Depp Domestic Abuse Allegations: Stars React

Depp is currently jamming out with his band, Hollywood Vampires while divorce proceedings drag on.

Ryder recently defended her ex-fiance to Time Magazine.

“He was never, never that way towards me. Never abusive at all towards me,” she insisted.

“I only know him as a really good, loving, caring guy who is very, very protective of the people that he loves. It’s hard because I feel like that’s my experience. And it’s been a very long time.”

Depp’s ex-girlfriend, Vanessa Paradis – with whom he has two children – also came to his defense.

The French star wrote an open letter, obtained by TMZ, which praised Depp and denied any violence in their relationship.

“In all the years I have known Johnny, he has never been physically abusive with me and this looks nothing like the man I lived with for 14 wonderful years,” Paradis wrote.

View Slideshow: 26 Tattoos These Celebrities May One Day Regret

Jesse Williams to Be Fired From Grey"s Anatomy Over BET Speech?!

A petition is circulating to fire Jesse Williams from Grey’s Anatomy in the wake of his acclaimed – but controversial – BET Awards speech.

Of course, you can start a petition for anything.

Getting your intended result? Another story.

As a result, don’t expect Dr. Jackson Avery to go anywhere, and look no further than his boss for the final word on this ridiculous matter.

“Um, people? Boo don’t need a petition,” Grey’s Anatomy creator and producer Shonda Rhimes tweeted to her 1.25 million Twitter followers.

Why? Because, well, “#shondalandrules.”

The petition against Williams, 34, was created by a woman named Erin Smith following the actor’s headline-making BET Awards speech.

Receiving the Humanitarian Award for his activism and work with the Black Lives Matter movement, he held nothing back on the stage.

Speaking out on the issues of cultural appropriation and civil rights, Williams’ dialogue won raves – from most of the people who watched.

Some critics, however, felt his fiery rhetoric crossed the line into borderline “hate speech” against law enforcement and white people.

Smith writes on her petition:

Jesse Williams BET Awards Speech

“If this was a white person making the same speech about an African American, they would have been fired and globally chastised.”

“As they should be, but there has been no consequences to Williams’ actions. There’s been no companies making a stand.”

Consequences for … addressing racial tension and societal pressure he feels is unduly placed on the shoulders of one race?

Decrying the lack of action “against his racist remarks and no swift action condemning his negative attitude,” she continued:  

“Why was Burke’s character fired from Grey’s Anatomy after his inappropriate homophobic slur, but nothing for Jesse Williams?”

“Why the one-way street? Why the support for a hater? Why the hypocrisy? #AllLivesMatter All humans bleed the same color.”

“#EqualConsequences4RacistBehavior.”

In 2007, Isaiah Washington was fired from the series after directing a homophobic slur at – and outing – gay cast member T.R. Knight.

It’s hard to see how this is remotely similar, but that hasn’t stopped Smith’s petition from gaining close to 4,000 signatures online.

Not that they’ll do anything to jeopardize Jesse’s job, but it’s amazing the amount of fallout his inspiring message sparked in its wake.

Last week, Stacey Dash called Williams a “plantation slave” after his BET appearance and called for the network to cease to exist.

Williams appeared to defend his speech over the weekend on social media. “Do not promote empty people & their tantrums,” he wrote.

“Pure click bait to gain followers, attention & money, for themselves, not you. Never you,” he added, and Rhimes retweeted his comment.  

Case closed?

View Slideshow: 27 Top Grey’s Anatomy Couples: RANKED!