Adam Lind and Farrah Abraham are the two most ridiculous creatures to crawl out of the cess pool that is the Teen Mom franchise, and now it seems they’re planning to join forces.
Or at least one of them would very much like to collaborate with the other on a new kind of project that will certainly not be SFM (Safe For MTV).
Adam offered Farrah an interesting business opportunity today, but instead of shooting her an email, he decided to make his offer publicly, on Instagram:
“So I was using my vibrating plastic mold of Farrah’s va-jay-jay today (Don’t judge me, haters!), and I had a great idea,” Lind wrote.
“Farrah, you and me should smash on camera, girl!”
Yes, it seems Lind was feeling inspired by his use of Farrah’s vagina mold and decided he’d like to try the real thing on for size.
But it’s not just her body that he’s interested in – it’s her brand.
Years after its release, Farrah’s sex tape remains a best-seller for Vivid, and insiders say it’s still a major source of revenue for the 25-year-old.
Clearly, Lind wants a piece of that action for himself:
“That’s right, y’all, I’m talking about a Farrah Abraham-Adam Lind sex tape,” he wrote.
Then, in one of his signature displays of egomania, he launched into an elevator pitch worthy of the most the most coke-addled screenwriter:
“This thing is gonna be huge, y’all!” Lind wrote. “And yes, I’m talking about the movie, not my D!!!1! Lmfaoooooooo!!!!
“Like, me and Farrah – that’s like a classic matchup, like Mayweather-Pacquiao, or some sh-t.”
“Only difference is, when we go at it, ain’t nobody gonna be left standing, ya feel me?!”
Adam went on to suggest that the footage debut on pay-per view and feature special effects from James Cameron.
“I mean, me gettin’ my smash on is a beautiful thing in its own right,” he said, modest as always.
“But it would be like much more beautifuller with like a crazy Avatar jungle background or if my dong changed colors or some sh-t, nahmean?”
Lind seemed undeterred by the fact that there’s already a rumored girl-on-girl sequel to Farrah’s sex tape in the works.
“That sh-t is wack, fam,” Lind argued in what was really just an incredibly long Instagram post.
“You gotta step your game up for a sequel, and the only way to do that is with the the tattooed wang of Adam f–kin Lind!”
“Without that, it would be like T2 without the liquid metal homie, or Ghostbusters 2 without Viggo the Carpathian. Remenber Viggo?”
“That sh-t gave me nightmares, dog, for real.”
“What was I talking about?” Adam concluded, back to the topic at hand. “Oh, yeah, Farrah, you should lemme hit it on camera, girl. Hmu.”
Of course, this was just a really long April Fools’ joke, and Adam didn’t really write any of that, but don’t lie – you totally bought it, right?
Honestly, we almost started believing it too by the end. Tell us you can’t picture this perfectly trashy collaboration happening.
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