Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Rob & Chyna: Officially Canceled!

It’s times like these that Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna must be especially thankful for their 3-month-old daughter, Dream Kardashian.


Because were it not for Dream, there would be no way to look at the last year of their lives as anything other than an unmitigated disaster.


Back when we first learned that Rob and Blac were dating, many predicted that things would play out exactly as they have:



Step one: Rob and Blac would move much too quickly, largely as an overcompensating response to family and friends’ opposition to their relationship. [Check]


Step two: As part of their mad dash to prove everyone wrong, Rob would get Blac pregnant. [Check]


Step three: After a brief resistance, Kris Jenner would decide to cut her losses and produce a Rob and Blac reality show.


Step four: Rob and Blac would break up.


Step five: Rob & Chyna (the show, not the couple) would never make it to Season 2.



If you correctly predicted every step of the Rob and Blac breakdown, well … don’t put your whole paycheck on your March Madness bracket just yet.


Just about everyone else called it, too, and as of today, step five is official.


Yes, after just one season of dismal ratings, Rob & Chyna has been canceled by E!


It’s a loss that will be mourned by Chyna, Chyna’s mom, Chyna’s agent, and probably a handful of other people with close ties to Chyna.


(The shameless opportunist, not the country that Donald Trump is afraid of.)



A source (who’s almost certainly a spokesperson for the couple) issued a statement moments ago confirming that Rob and Blac will not be filming together anymore, but they remain committed to an amicable co-parenting arrangement and blah, blah, blah …


“They are doing the best they can to stay civil and to co-parent the best they can,” the source explains.


“They have worked out an informal custody arrangement. They found out what works for them and they’re doing a good job at it.”


The anonymous and totes unbiased insider adds:



“[Rob and Chyna] realize Dream will connect them for life, and it’s not worth it for them to fight and get dramatic about their breakup.


“They’re forever connected by that beautiful girl, so there can’t be any bad blood.”


Sounds promising, right?


After all, these two share a profound love for one another that can never be destroyed, but only transformed into friendship and …


What’s that? 


They clearly hated each other from the start?


*starts writing preemptive “Kris Jenner Granted Full Custody of Dream Kardashian” article*



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