As if the news that Jersey Shore is returning is not good enough, MTV launched Florbima Shore last night.
The new iteration has the same formula as the original series, but a brand new cast of fame-hungry wannabes and a new location.
What could possibly go wrong?
A lot.
On Floribama Shore Season 1 Episode 1, the cast members went to extreme measures to get the world of Twitter talking.
Nilsa and her friend Kortni were the first to arrive, and they are going to be quite the double act. Nilsa held nothing back and quickly revealed to her housemates that she married way too young.
“I made a mistake getting married so young, but this summer, I’m single and ready to do me,” Nilsa declared early on.
A dude named Gus was immediately drawn to Nilsa, and seemed to think that her free-spirited nature was a good thing for him. Nilsa only had eyes for Jeremiah, it seemed.
Gus proudly revealed that Jeremiah already asked Kortni out, and Nilsa was having none of it.
“He likes the loud, obnoxious girl?” Nilsa asked Gus, before revealing to the cameras, “At the end of the day if I want Jeremiah, I will have Jeremiah. Kortni is no competition for me.”
This should be fun!
Oddly, Kortni seemed to be Team Nilsa and even commented that she had her friend’s back every step of the way, so there’s a severe lack of loyalty from Nilsa, and that will cause issues down the line.
Nilsa got thirsty real quick and even went as far as flashing Jeremiah to get his attention. But he seemed interested in another new chick named Mary Jo.
Nilsa threw insults her way and even said the woman was as old as her mother. Considering Mary Jo was just 30 at the time of filming, Nilsa is not very good at math.
When the going got tough, Nilsa tried to call her ex-husband to let him know how crappy things were going. Codi interjected and told her to apologize to Mary Jo because there was no need for all of the drama.
Kortni is a bit of a loose cannon. She peed the bed after drink-fueled night of alcohol and then thought it was fun to deny it
“I did not pee the bed,” Kortni insisted. “I’m being framed. I’m being freakin’ framed and I will bet money on it.”
Um, okay then. Whatever you say, Kortni!
Jeremiah was taken with her behavior and took her out to dinner. Yes, everyone seems to think that moving quickly is the way forward on this show.
Who are we to judge? They are being plied with alcohol by the producers to do some nasty stuff. They knew what they were signing up for.
The other characters were on the sidelines for much of the episode, but the two-hour opener was just stuffed with crazy moments that reeked of sheer desperation.
Will the show become a hit?
Probably, but it will probably only be because the entirety of the U.S. is talking about how vile everyone is.
What did you think of it?
