Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Kylie Jenner Enlists Kourtney Kardashian and Caitlyn Jenner for Amateur Porn on Snapchat!

If Kylie Jenner’s lip kit venture fizzles out, she may find her calling as an amateur porn director.


In a series of videos posted to her Snapchat account, Kylie enlists sister Kourtney Kardashian and her BFF Harry to tell the sordid tale of a booty call gone wrong.



Honestly, you guys, this is the most hilarious thing you’ll see all week.


We selected a handful of the best snaps that tell the story, each of which is about three seconds long so you won’t spend all day watching.


First, we see Kylie on the phone accusing her sister of having a thing for her friend Harry.




Kourtney denies any feelings for the lad, saying that the two of them just happen to be staying in the same hotel.


Cut to Kourt running down the hall, heading to Harry’s room and cackling about how she lied to Kylie.




In an Oscar-worthy performance, Harry answers the door, visibly nervous about Kourtney’s arrival and asks her to come back in an hour.












But an insatiable Kourtney pushes her way through, only to pull out a Meryl Streep-caliber performance herself.




Why is Kourt so shocked?? We-hell, it appears that Harry’s been hiding a VERY big secret.




Perhaps Harry is the first man Caitlyn has been with since she declared on her show that she was through dating women?


Sadly for us, the story ends there, but we’d like to think this is where the bow-chica-wow-wow music is queued. 


Kudos to all of the actors and to budding auteur Kylie Jenner for having a bit of fun with us all.


And if this “film” proves anything, it’s that they really aren’t acting on Keeping Up With the Kardashians


Teresa Giudice is Voting for Donald Trump Because Of Course She Is

You’ll never guess who Teresa Giudice is voting for when it comes to President of the United States.


Actually, you’ll totally guess.



After all, one of the world’s worst reality stars is now on record as saying she’ll cast her vote for one of the world’s worst people.


“Of course I’m going to vote for Donald Trump,” Giudice tells Andy Cohen in an interview that will air tonight on Bravo. “I think he’s amazing. I think he’ll make a great president.”


We can’t make too much fun of Teresa, we suppose, because a whole lot of people (especially in New Hampshire) apparently share this same asinine opinion.


And at least Giudice has a personal connection to Trump, having been a cast member on Celebrity Apprentice in 2012.


When Teresa turned around and asked Cohen who he’ll be voting for, the Watch What Happens Live host said he wasn’t certain yet, but…


“I’m pretty sure I’m not voting for Donald Trump.”


This also might be a good time to mention that Teresa Giudice actually cannot vote for President until she completes her probation, per New Jersey law.


So there’s one fewer vote for Trump! There’s still hope, people.



Giudice was released from the Danbury Federal Correctional Institution on December 23 after serving 11 months on fraud charges; her house arrest ended last Friday.


Earlier this week, meanwhile, Bravo announced that she will be featured on The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 7, along with Melissa Gorga and Jacqueline Laurita.


Here’s the first teaser for new episodes of that program, which will feature cameras capturing Giudice reuniting with her family after her release from jail.


Because of course this was filmed for television, right?


Dean McDermott: STILL Cheating on Tori Spelling?!

It’s been a rough few weeks for Tori Spelling.



First we learned that Spelling is completely broke, thanks to a lawsuit resulting from a $ 38,000 debt to American Express. (The company claims that when Tori last attempted to pay her bill back in June, her $ 1,000 check bounced.)


The public humiliations continued from there, as the world learned that Tori’s being forced to shill for a psychic network and beg her mom for money in order to pay the bills.  


But, of course, the greatest embarrassments have involved Spelling’s deadbeat husband, Dean McDermott.


Not only has Tori been forced to pay Dean’s back child support payments, he’s reportedly repaid her by slipping back into his old ways and hitting on random women behind Tori’s back.


“Dean is talking to and hitting on girls all the time when he goes out,” a source close to the situation tells Radar Online. “He’s constantly pointing out ‘hot’ girls.”


The insider says that McDermott is quite brazen in his perviness, adding that he was recently spotted “talking to some girl and getting her phone number” just a few feet from where Spelling was standing.


You may remember that McDermott’s affair with Emily Goodhand was the major source of drama for the couple’s most recent Lifetime reality series.


So maybe Dean is trying to help his family out of a tough financial spot by cheating again? Nah, he’s probably just a douche.

Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez: Reuniting for Valentine"s Day??

In her latest interview with W magazine, Selena Gomez made it clear she was “so over” ex-bae Justin Bieber.


But according to a new report by Celeb Dirty Laundry, the “Hands to Myself” singer just asked the Biebs to hang out on Valentine’s Day – although, just as friends.



“Selena knows that Justin hates being alone on holidays,” a source told the site. “She is acting as if she could care less if he says ‘yes’ – and just invited him to hang out to be polite.”


Justin doesn’t like to be alone on holidays, huh? Sounds like a poor, sad, lonely boy just looking for a connection, right?


But it wouldn’t be a true tabloid report if there wasn’t a tired stereotype about a woman being desperate on V-Day. 


“Secretly, Selena will be devastated if he says ‘no’ and hangs out with one of his random hook-ups or flavor of the week on such a romantic day.”


We’re sneezing bullsh*t on this one.


You see, peeps just don’t want to let this whole Selena-Justin thing go, and what better time to resuscitate this dead horse than the most over-commercialized Hallmark holiday that makes most folks want to ralph?


In the past couple months, Selena Gomez has been linked romantically to Niall Horan, Orlando Bloom and Samuel Krost as well as Justin.


But we have a feeling Selena would be perfectly content spending V-day at Chili’s eating mozzarella sticks then catching a showing of How to Be Single with Taylor Swift and other members of the girl squad. 


We’re sure Calvin Harris will understand.