Between Donald Trump and Nicole Arbour, 2017 is looking to be huuuuuge for terrible blondes who have made careers out of talking sh-t.
If you’re not familiar with Arbour, you’ve enjoyed a blessed existence, and you should read no further, so that you might live the rest of your days unsullied by the knowledge of this angry comments section come to life.
If you are familiar with Arbour, then we don’t have to tell you she’s the absolute worst.
Arbour became “famous” for her noxious screed of a YouTube video, “Dear Fat People” back in 2015.
Like Martin Shkreli and countless toddlers before her, Arbour can’t distinguish between positive and negative attention, so she fed off the Internet’s contempt and stuck around well beyond her allotted 15 minutes.
So why are we talking about the Carlos Mencia of social media this week?
Well, like a parasite attached to a host, Arbour has managed to remain relevant by sinking her teeth into a slightly better-known Z-lister, former Vanderpump Rules star Mike Shay.
If you’re a fan of the the show, you know that Mike was married to Scheana Marie for about four seconds (or 18 months, whatever).
Mike and Scheana broke up recently, and portions of the drama will reportedly be featured in the latter half of Vanderpump‘s current season.
These days, Mike is in a hip hop group with Arbour called Dat Dope Group, because apparently Nicole is capable of being funny, but only when it’s unintentional.
Because dat group has a total of 96 Twitter followers, which is decidedly un-dope, Nicole is drumming up publicity the best way she knows how – by being horrendous!
According to Arbour, Scheana basically sabotaged her marriage for the sake of Vanderpump‘s ratings, which seems like a pretty hefty price to pay for a storyline that the show rarely focuses on.
“Scheana and Shay were told if they didn’t cause more drama that she would be fired because she wasn’t interesting enough,” Arbour recently told Radar Online.
“They needed more drama from her. And that’s what started causing so many problems in their marriage.
“Mike wasn’t into it and Scheana was like, ‘Well, this is my job and you have to support me and cause more drama with me.’”
She added:
“He always spoke so highly of her, like, ‘I love my wife. My wife is amazing. I love her so much.’ But none of us ever saw that. We never saw them being in love.
Arbour went on to reiterate that she believes Scheana was lying when she claimed that Mike went missing and appeared to relapse back in November:
“One time he accidentally locked himself out of the studio and he wasn’t actually missing,” she said.
“He locked himself out and had to walk home. He was missing for a couple of hours because he didn’t call her back.”
Since Scheana has yet to take the bait and feed Arbour the troll pellets that she needs to survive, Nicole decided to go all-in by slamming the entire Vanderpump cast:
“It’s sad that this is what these people have to do,” she said.
“They have to make up lies and try to run with them so they have a career next year because they’re desperate for storylines.”
We never saw it that way, but Arbour is something of an authority on resorting to sad, desperate measures to guard her precious nugget of fame like some sort of angry blonde Gollum, so maybe she knows what she’s talking about.
