Boyfriend Pens Essay in Support of Girlfriend Giving Him a BJ

We"re just going to come right out and say it:

EARMUFFS, children!

Okay, now we"re going to come right out and get to the point:

Men will do anything for a blowjob.

We don"t mean to generalize or stereotype here, but… yeah. It"s true. Men will do anything for a blowjob.

Just ask Hannah, a young woman who has been dating her boyfriend for about a year and who apparently is yet to provide him with any oral sex.

After he started pushing for her mouth to be wrapped around his penis, Hannah replied by asking for a lengthy essay in support of this request.

And the boyfriend took this assignment more seriously than anything since his SATs! Heck, who are we kidding: he took it far more seriously than he took his SATs!

Follow along with this hilarious story below… 

1. Persuade Me!

Hannah means business. She’s looking for far more than “Ummm… because it will feel really good?” And just you wait, her boyfriend is about to deliver!

2. What is MLA Format?

For those who require a better understanding of what is being asked for here.

3. … And He’s Off!

Seriously, do you think anyone has ever typed more furiously in the history of the Internet?

4. Let Me Start By Saying…

… To blow or not to blow? This is a parody of the well-echoed Shakespearean proverb that gauges the pros and cons and consequential successes and failures (the latter of which is indisputably improbable) of giving me a blowjob.

5. Do It for Diversity!

In bed, but still. Diversity nonetheless.

6. Look at This Research!

We’re not down with the term “sucky fucky.” But we’re blown (get it?!?) away from the research.

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