Can you believe that it’s been nearly three months now since Kylie Jenner and Tyga broke up?
At first it seemed too good to be true, and now … well, it still seems that way.
It’s just that Tyga has always been so gross, and even if he and Kylie stayed together for years, he’ll always be a guy in his mid-20s with a child who hooked up with a young, impressionable teenager.
And, much like a phoenix, Kyga has always had the ability to rise from the ashes after being destroyed. They could get back together at any time, and we need to be prepared for that.
It’s just all very creepy, and we’re still not out of the creepy woods, that’s what we’re saying.
Oh, and speaking of creepy things and Tyga and Kylie’s mutual obsession with each other, have you heard his new song yet?
It’s called “Playboy,” and it really, really sounds like it’s about the littlest Jenner — and like Tyga is not even remotely over her yet.
For instance, in the hook, Tyga brags about having the tenacity of a porn star and a drug dealer, because he’s such a catch, right?
Then he goes “She a superstar and got it bad for me.”
“If I hang up she call right back to me, you cut her legs off she crawl right back to me.”
Name one other girl who could possibly be considered a “superstar” that’s ever given Tyga the time of day.
You can’t, can you?
Tyga also gets pretty graphic in the song, rapping about how in addition to this girl keeps crawling back to him, “she really crawl, lift my balls and lick the whole sack for me.”
If you’re not dead yet, there’s more.
“If I ain’t poppin’,” he asks, “why the paparazzi flashin’ me? Can you answer me? I call it playboy tenacity.”
We call it “weaseling your way into the Kardashian family and using their fame for your own gain,” but sure, whatever.
Another line that seems to be about Kylie is “More money, more problems but the money make it better. I ain’t tryna f-ck and that just f-cked her head up.”
It sounds like the whole song is about a girl who simply can’t seem to help herself in coming back to Tyga, over and over again.
She’s got it bad, she can’t get over him, she keeps crawling back to him and gets upset if he won’t pay attention to her.
If that isn’t the saddest, most accurate description of Kylie Jenner, then what is?
