George Clooney turned 56 last month, and we think it’s a safe bet that most if not all of those years have been pretty damn good.
There may have been some low points pre-ER when he was working for Roseanne and forced to compliment her ’80s wardrobe, but we’re guessing that on 95-99% of the mornings he’s gotten out of bed, George has looked and mirror and thought, Damn, it’s good to be The Cloon.
(We have no real reason to believe he calls himself The Cloon, but George strikes us a man who wouldn’t want to waste a solid nickname.)
We mention all this just to underscore how impressive it is that George continually manages to top himself in terms of baller status.
It’s not like he set the bar low early on with a few decades living in his mom’s basement, ya know?
As we approach the half way point of 2017, George has crossed off what were probably the only remaining items on his bucket list:
Earlier this month Clooney became a dad, when his wife, Amal, gave birth to twins.
And today, George became a billionaire.
Okay, technically, George sold his tequila company, Casamigos, to liquor giant Diageo for $ 700 million with another $ 300 million to be paid out over the next ten years based on performance.
But we’re not gonna split hairs with a dude who finalized a nine-figure business deal before we finished our breakfast Cheetos, ya know?
Clooney founded Casamigos in 2013 with entertainment mogul and husband of Cindy Crawford, Rande Gerber.
It’s about time something went right for these guys, ya know?
Casamigos (which means “house of friends” in Spanish) started out as a private tequila collective, producing small batches of booze to be gifter to family and friends.
Yes, that’s the most baller thing you can find outside of Diddy video.
And yes, George became a billionaire by accident because he clearly pledged his soul to the same demon who’s keeping Keith Richards alive.
“If you asked us four years ago if we had a billion dollar company, I don’t think we would have said yes,” Clooney sad in a statement issued today.
“This reflects Diageo’s belief in our company and our belief in Diageo. But we’re not going anywhere. We’ll still be very much a part of Casamigos. Starting with a shot tonight. Maybe two.”
We’ll toast to that, George!
Except we’ll be drinking some Tijuana-made rotgut with a worm in the bottom, because we have that pesky “not being billionaires” thing to contend with.
It’s getting seriously annoying, so if you wanted to help us out with a few mill, we wouldn’t yell at you.