For as long as she’s been a household name internationally, Meghan Markle has been plagued by her awful family and the apparent joy they take in trying to destroy her.
And because 2018 offers daily proof that the intern in charge of the simulation we’re living in is completely hammered, these jerks are being rewarded for their awfulness with the money and attention they so desperately crave.
According to UK tabloid The Mirror, Samantha Markle has reached a deal with Bravo to star in her own reality show.
Sources say network execs are “desperate” to get Sam’s dad, Thomas Markle, on board so that they can set up an ensemble situation in which several sad, desperate d-bags sit around and trash Meghan.
“They want something that is similar to Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” says one insider.
Yeah, just like Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
Except in this version, the whole family is seething with jealousy over Kim’s success, and with Khloe as their evil mastermind, they launch a Shakespearean plot to destroy her life.
It may sound like we’re being a bit melodramatic, but aside from the current White House occupants, it’s tough to think of a family more aggressively awful than the Markles.
These people are so horrendous that Thomas Markle faking a heart attack in order to skip his daughter’s wedding doesn’t crack the top ten list of deplorable things they’ve done in the past six months.
Hell, Samantha’s public declaration that Meghan will be responsible for her father’s death barely makes the cut.
Needless to say, the idea that these people will soon be handsomely compensated for their villainy is nauseating to a large number of people.
Just as an anxious nation hangs its hopes on Robert Mueller, so too are decent people everywhere praying that a man who’s never let us down in the past will come forward.
That man’s name is Andy Cohen.
Cohen make have made his bones in the often-tawdry world of reality television, but dude is a mensh through and through, and Samantha makes the very worst of the Housewives look like Mother Theresa.
Here’s hoping he squashes the Samantha deal to remind us all that evil isn’t rewarded 100 percent of the time.
