Khloe Kardashian: I Want to Elope With Tristan Thompson, ASAP!

It’s been over a month since Tristan Thompson was caught cheating on Khloe Kardashian, and despite the hopes of fans and her family, she still hasn’t dumped him.

Now a spine-chilling report has come out that Khloe is planning to elope with Tristan and marry him, since no one else supports their union.

Oh no, Khloe.

RadarOnline reports that Khloe Kardashian is scrambling together a wedding with Tristan Thompson … and that her mortified family is refusing to be a part of it.

According to their sources, Khloe is “desperate” — their word — to get hitched to her cheating baby daddy.

Now, the Kardashians are known for circling the wagons and supporting each other under a variety of circumstances, but even that famous Kardashian solidarity has its limits.

Per the sources, Khloe’s family is refusing to take part in such a wedding “under any circumstances.”

Sometimes, the ones you love are more protective of you than you are.

This source reveals that, like so many of Khloe’s fans and other decent human beings, the Kardashians are furious with Tristan after he and his cheating scandal humiliated Khloe.

“They detest this guy with a passion.”

While all of this has come from sources, Kris Jenner herself said that talking about Khloe and Tristan makes her cry.

“And cannot believe Khloe’s let him walk all over her like this.”

Khloe has a strong personality and is always vocal in defending her sisters from slimy guys. It’s sad that she doesn’t advocate for herself like that.

Apparently, their attempts to get through to her have been unsuccessful.

“Even after their intervention to Ohio, she’s defending him.”

She’s defending him … for cheating … on her?

“And refusing to believe the cheating stories which she insists were exaggerated.”

We are deeply curious to know how one exaggerates a video.

Did he take a woman up to his room to show her his etchings?

When he was fooling around with those two women in a hookah bar, did he accidentally fall and his face just landed upon one’s bosom?

It sounds like those reports that Khloe is in denial still hold water.

This source claims that Khloe is too entranced by Tristan to give him the boot.

“He has a real grip over her.”

The source goes on, observing that Khloe’s alleged wedding plans are evidence of how out of her gourd she has become.

“And it speaks volumes that Khloe’s desperate to get hitched this summer.”

This summer?

Khloe, this is not the way.

We can’t verify this story, as it comes from unnamed sources. We would love nothing more than to learn that the sources are mistaken.

We want to believe that Khloe has more sense than that.

The source does reveal the sort of wedding that Khloe would like.

“Ideally she’d like a splashy white wedding but with nobody in her corner it’ll more likely be a straight elopement instead.”

So, in other words, Tristan didn’t just ruin the week of their daughter’s birth, he’s also blown Khloe’s chance at having the wedding of her dreams.

“Kim, Kris, Kourtney, and co are adamant they won’t be in the same room as Tristan, let alone a wedding chapel.”

Considering that Kim unfollowed Tristan on Instagram, she can’t even look at the guy’s face without feeling enraged.

We hope that Khloe snaps out of it. Maybe she’ll have to wait until more evidence surfaces. Or until the next time he cheats.

Until then, fans will keep trolling Khloe whenever they get the chance. It’s their version of tough love.

View Slideshow: Khloe Kardashian: Why She SHOULD Leave Tristan Thompson, But Never Will

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Rachel Lindsay & Bryan Abasolo: Preparing to Elope?!

We all make mistakes. Most of us don’t have our mistakes broadcast on international television. But the whole world saw Rachel Lindsay choose Bryan Abasolo.

They’re still together though, and Rachel’s talking about wedding plans.

But … it sounds like she might just elope.

Speaking to Us Weekly, Rachel Lindsay gushed about her engagement to Bryan Abasolo and how eager she is to tie the knot.

“I’m ready to be married.”

Well, it would have been weird for her to go on The Bachelor and then star on The Bachelorette otherwise.

“I keep saying winter wedding, which more so with the process of everything is what it’s looking like, but honestly I could elope with Bryan tomorrow.”

A winter wedding sounds lovely, right?

Elopement sounds … well, it probably sounds a lot easier. And apparently Rachel’s mother agrees.

“And it’s so funny because my mom texted me the other day and she goes, ‘Secretly I would love for you to just elope.’”

It’s hard to tell if her mother really wants that or if she’s just fatigued at the idea of this huge, expensive wedding.

“The family loves him,” Rachel claims.

That sounds a little different from what we saw on Hometown Dates, but … okay.

“I want good music, good vibes, a lot of family and friends around, and I just want it to be a big reunion, that I know.”

That sounds like what most people want for their weddings.

“Someone said the other day, ‘What about having the wedding in Colombia?’ and actually that’s a thought that we’re thinking about right now.”

What would be the point of a winter wedding if it’s in Columbia? But she’s a Texas girl, and perhaps doesn’t enjoy the cold.

“That’s the first time I’ve said that out loud!”

Usually, you want your fiance or at least your wedding planner to be the person you tell, not Carly from Us Weekly. No offense to Carly.

Rachel Lindsay talks about her friends that she made within the Bachelor Nation.

“They’re with me everywhere.”

Awww, that’s sweet to imagine.

“I’m stuck with them for life.”

That … well, we’re sure that she’s joking.

She goes on to gush about what it’s like to be engaged to Bryan Abasolo.

“Bryan’s romantic every day.”

He promised her a fairytale romance, and it sounds like he’s delivering.

“He’s always giving me massages, he’s always catering to my needs to the point where I’m like, ‘Hold on. Let me do something for you.’”

That sounds like it might be bordering on TMI, but it also sounds very pleasant.

“Bryan’s just very sweet. Whenever I need something he’s very attentive to it, so I would say he’s romantic every single day.”

She also talks about their disagreements when it comes to children:

“I want four kids. Bryan wants three, but he also says it depends on how many we can afford.”

We never imagined that we’d say this, but … we’re team Bryan Abasolo.

“See, this is what I mean about Bryan, he’s so practical. I’m just like, ‘Give me all the babies. If we can’t have them, we’re adopting.’ So we’ll see.”

Let’s see if she still wants four after a few months of infant-induced sleep deprivation.

Rachel talks about some more immediate plans that she and Bryan have.

“We’re spending Christmas with his family.”

Bryan Abasolo has gushed in the past about how much his grandma loves Rachel Lindsay.

“We’re gonna be two weeks in Miami. He spent Thanksgiving with my family, so it’s all been so seamless in how it’s all come together.”

Well, if you like wasting part of winter in warm climates where the weather takes “winter” as a mere suggestion, Miami sounds lovely.

Just not as lovely as Peter Kraus.

View Slideshow: The Bachelorette Fans to Rachel Lindsay: Do NOT PICK Bryan Abasolo!

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Sofia Richie and Scott Disick: Planning to Elope?!

Once upon a time, Scott Disick was one of the most likeable people on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Fast-forward to 2017, and you’d probably cross the street if you saw him coming up the sidewalk.

Well, now Scott Disick is dating Sofia Richie, and no one can blame Lionel Richie for feeling scared to death.

That paternal fear might turn to terror when he sees Sofia Richie’s post. Are she and Scott planning to elope?

The world knew that Scott Disick, after going on a boozey tour of various 19-year-old models since last spring, was dating Sofia Disick.

But they finally made things Instagram official when Sofia shared photos from their creepy Mexico vacation.

To clarify, Mexico wasn’t what was creepy about it, and neither was Sofia.

Seeing a guy like Scott Disick making out with a teenage girl on jet skis doesn’t really engender the most positive feelings in a lot of people. The guy has kids.

Now, Scott and Sofia are vacationing in Italy, which would almost be fine on its own … except that we worry that they might be moving too quickly in their relationship.

Way, way too quickly.

Here they are, clearly enjoying the canals in Venice after presumably searching for the least polluted and therefore most picturesque canal for a photo op.

(Venice is lovely but the water can be full of city litter, which really cuts down on the “romantic” atmosphere)

Sofia Richie paired the photo with this caption:

“Run away with it.”

Whoa there.

Maybe she’s just talking about their “runaway romance” or whatever she thinks that this is.

But we have to say that this looks like she might be hinting at something much more serious and more worrisome.

When we see a couple and the words “run away,” we think of elopement.

Before you say “no, they wouldn’t do anything so stupid,” please consider that Sofia is a lovestruck teenager and … every decision that Scott has made in 2017.

We can believe it, even though we don’t want to.

Whether they read this as a hint at elopement plans, which would be massively premature, or just saw a picture of the couple and just had to comment, Instagram followers were quick to pick apart Sofia and Scott’s relationship.

One commenter wrote:

“That literally look like her uncle.”

They’re not wrong.

Another saw someone refer to the couple as “amazing” and couldn’t let that slide.

“Are you insane??!! He’s a drunk & shes still so young!!! Nothing amazing about that!! Not being a hater but let’s get real!!!!”

It’s hard to argue with any of that. There’s more wisdom on social media than you might think.

One piece of sage advice seemed to come from a follower who read Sofia’s caption the same way that we did.

“You’re gonna lose another 10 years of your youth Just like Kourtney or he’s gonna leave u with a baby and then disappear.”

That’s a grim prophecy but … it doesn’t seem like an unlikely scenario.

Sofia is young. Maybe she’s lovestruck and just lacks the life experience to see Scott for the walking disaster that he is.

Actually, screw that — there are plenty of 19-year-olds who can see that Scott Disick is bad news.

But maybe he has Sofia wrapped around his little finger. Maybe Sofia thinks that she can “fix” him.

We can understand why this relationship “makes sense,” from Scott’s perspective.

To him, Sofia might be a stabilizing influence while still being a barely legal teenage model, which is apparently his type.

Let’s hope that one of them, at least, has the wisdom to not make a difficult-to-reverse decision that could set Sofia’s life on a less-than-ideal course for years to come.

View Slideshow: The Good, The Bad, The Lord: 23 Times Scott Disick Owned Reality TV

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Prince Harry & Meghan Markle: Are They Planning to Elope?!

Back in October the world learned that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle had been dating for several months.

In the beginning, the couple had an unfortunate amount of haters, but far more supporters.

Those supporters have spent the entirety of 2017 desperate for news that Harry and Meghan are engaged.

Thus far, no such announcement had been made.

And now, royal obsessives are being driven to the point of panic by news that Harry and Meghan are having relationship problems.

Well, we’re happy to report that you can put your cares to rest, Harkle ‘shippers.

By most accounts, Meghan and Harry are doing just fine.

In fact, a new report published today by Us Weekly claims that not only is the couple planning to get hitched …. they’re plannin to do it before the year is out.

And how is it possible to plan a big royal wedding in such a short time, you ask?

Well, it’s not.

But if the new reports are to be believed, Harry and Meghan aren’t planning a big royal wedding.

According to Us, the couple will be eschewing the Westminster Abbey option in favor of a venue that’s much more off the beaten path.

“They could get married somewhere private and elope,” a source tells the magazine, “rather than have a showy wedding.”

Meghan’s first wedding took place on an island and Harry is reportedly keen on the idea.

Of course, first, he has to pop the question.

And there are some pretty good guesses as to when that may happen.

One insider says Harry will get down on one knee on August 4, which happens to be Meghan’s birthday.

The date has additional significance as the month has always been a difficult one for Harry, whose mother was killed in a car accident in August.

“He feels getting engaged will lift that gloom forever because he will be able to associate August with something joyful,” says the source.

Another insider speculated  that Harry will likely pop the question sometime in the next few months “my money is on a fall engagement.”

View Slideshow: Meghan Markle: 16 Things to Know About Prince Harry’s New Squeeze

Whatever the case it sounds as though another royal wedding will take place in the very near future.

Time to pick out a super-fancy hat and pretend like you might be invited!

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