Jim Carrey’s brush knows no executive bounds … he painted President Trump as a sexual deviant who’s halfway to baldness. The comedian posted yet another piece of his artwork on Twitter, and this time he goes after 45 in a piece Carrey…
Showing posts with label Fifty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fifty. Show all posts
Friday, March 23, 2018
Friday, February 9, 2018
Fifty Shades Freed Reviews: What an Unsatisfying Climax!
Fifty Shades Freed is an actual name of an actual movie.
Based on the following reviews, meanwhile, it also may be the best part of said movie.
The final installment of a much-maligned trilogy, Fifty Shades Freed once again stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, as the actors have a lot of rough sex and get engaged in a lot of ridiculous plot machinations.
Just how terrible is Fifty Shades Freed?
Scroll down to read the most scathing reviews!
1. Entertainment Weekly, Chris Nashawaty
The thriller plot with Hyde is wafer thin. So director James Foley (yes, the same James Foley who somehow once directed Glengarry Glen Ross and then apparently lost a bet with Satan) appeals to our collective weakness for materialistic envy with ritzy mountain vacations, bubble baths, and visits to the infamous Red Room of Pain. As an actress, Johnson sells all of this hooey better than Dornan, who, three films in, hasn’t gotten much better as an actor.
2. Vulture, Emily Yoshida
[These films] look more out of step with the times than ever. As the trilogy goes out, more desperate than ever to convince us it was in on the joke all along, it’s hard to say exactly what the joke was.
3. The Guardian, Benjamin Lee
The dialogue just exists. Its purpose is to slowly edge the feather-light plot forward rather than provide any depth or humor to any interaction. There’s more of an attempt here to add the loose outline of a thriller narrative to occupy the scenes when they’re not having boring sex but it’s of the daytime soap variety (at one point a character gets kidnapped outside a gym). There’s never any real danger or real emotion or real anything here, to be honest, it’s as if it’s playing in the background, and no one involved can be bothered to add color or life or even a frisson of passion.
4. The Wrap, Anna Hartley
Although it tries to hide it by cramming in fist fights, car chases and kidnapping, “Fifty Shades Freed” suffers from a lack of rhythm, moving from plot point to plot point with as much spontaneity as meal-planning for one’s luxury penthouse household with one’s housekeeper. It’s clichéd, stodgy and overly faithful to the original books. But at the end of the day, who cares?
5. Collider, Matt Goldberg
There’s a lot I could tolerate with these movies—the fact that they worship at the altar of wealth and confuse gratuitous displays of money with love (I know Christian can whisk Ana away to Aspen whenever he wants, but I’d be shocked if he knew the title of her favorite book); that Dornan and Johnson clearly despise each other (the only scene where they seem to have any connection is one where Ana and Christian are angrily yelling at each other); and that the sex scenes are bland because there’s no chemistry between the actors. But I draw the line at trying to normalize someone like Christian without ever forcing him to change his behavior.
6. The Telegraph, Robbie Collin
This is a film in which one of the more emotionally detailed performances is given by a product-placement Audi.
Thursday, January 18, 2018
Liam Payne Turns On Rita Ora, Radio DJs With "Fifty Shades of Grey" Reading
Liam Payne’s voice doesn’t just turn on Rita Ora … he left at least 3 dudes speechless with his seductive reading of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Liam and Rita were guests Wednesday on London’s KISS radio. The two recorded a single…
Liam Payne Turns On Rita Ora, Radio DJs With "Fifty Shades of Grey" Reading
Liam Payne’s voice doesn’t just turn on Rita Ora … he left at least 3 dudes speechless with his seductive reading of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Liam and Rita were guests Wednesday on London’s KISS radio. The two recorded a single…
Monday, November 6, 2017
Fifty Shades Freed: See the Hot Full-Length Trailer!
What did we ever do to deserve the sexy, sexy magic that is the Fifty Shades of Grey series?
The books, the movies, all of it is just so good.
Maybe you think it"s good because you genuinely like it, maybe you think it"s good because it makes you feel funny in your pants, or maybe you just appreciate it for what it is: a dumb, trashy, fun bit of entertainment.
Either way, does it really matter?
Fifty Shades of Grey has a little something for everybody, and if you don"t believe it, then just check out the new trailer for Fifty Shades Freed, the final film in the franchise.
Then you"ll see.
This is actually the first official trailer for the movie — we"ve seen a few teasers, but this is the first real look we"re getting.
And it"s amazing.
The trailer starts by reminding us that Anastasia and Christian are married now — we know that because he tells her "Good morning, wife," and then she answers with "Good morning, husband."
They go on a fancy honeymoon, he spends a ridiculous amount of money and licks her leg. You know, just married people things.
When they get back home, it turns out that they have a different home, because he went and bought a house without discussing it with her.
It"s not because he"s possessive and controlling, it"s because he"s romantic. Right?
Later on, Ana is driving around town with Christian when he notices they"re being followed, so she does some slick maneuvers to get away from the other car, which is something she would totally know how to do.
And then … oh, and then Ana"s deranged old boss, Jack Hyde, calls her up, looking more psychotic than ever.
What does he want? The trailer doesn"t make it clear, but later we see him holding a knife to her throat, so it"s nothing good.
What else? Ana gets jealous because Christian hangs out with that older woman who turned him onto all this BDSM business, someone gets punched in a club, for some reason.
And don"t forget all the sex!
Check out the whole wild show in the video below:
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
Fifty Shades Freed: Check Out the Dumbest Moments (So Far)!
Question: have you ever really sat back and really thought about how blessed we are to be alive right now?
Sure, there are tons and tons of terrible things happening all around the world, but unfortunately that"s usually the case.
You can spend your time focusing on all the negatives, or you can choose to be a little more optimistic and think about all the truly great things happening around us, right at this very moment.
For instance, technology is pretty cool, right? And there have been so many advancements that have made it possible for us to do more, see more, experience more …
Also, just look at it this way: we"re are the only people in the history of the world who get to experience the phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey as it happens.
Future generations will be able to read the books and watch the movies, but will they get to wait anxiously for the next movie to hit theaters?
Will they, as we all surely do, remember where they were when they saw the last first trailer for a Fifty Shades film?
No. We alone have that pleasure.
So keep that in mind as we take a good, hard look at the latest Fifty Shades Freed teaser, you lucky, lucky souls.
Because if a Fifty Shades teaser doesn"t deserve this kind of analyzing, then for real, what does?
1. Anastasia’s Wedding Dress!
Look at it, look at it! That’s the dress Anastasia will wear when she becomes Mrs. Christian Grey. And it’s hanging from the ceiling because … well, that’s just what rich people do, right?
2. Sneaky Hands!
We all know it wouldn’t be Fifty Shades without some sexy times, and this little snippet from the teaser certainly doesn’t disappoint! Because hey, who DOESN’T like it when their significant other waltzes up while you’re trying to get dressed to slide his hand up your butt?!
3. YOWZA!
In this little moment, we learn that Christian Grey is so hot that when you see him strutting on the beach, you’re required to take off your sunglasses. Out of respect, probably, but also because why would you want anything to obstruct that view?
4. The Exchanging of the Rings
… Are we seriously supposed to believe that this is the wedding ring Christian would choose? Really? After seeing his helicopters and cars and homes and his vast collection of luxury butt toys, we’re supposed to think this fits his aesthetic?
5. The Ever-Surprised Anastasia
This is cute, because this is that classic moment in every relationship where one partner learns that the other owns a private jet. Who can’t relate?!
6. Sexy Sex Toys
… What is that, a wooden spoon? Seems like Anastasia is kind of overselling this bit.
Fifty Shades Freed: Check Out the Dumbest Moments (So Far)!
Question: have you ever really sat back and really thought about how blessed we are to be alive right now?
Sure, there are tons and tons of terrible things happening all around the world, but unfortunately that"s usually the case.
You can spend your time focusing on all the negatives, or you can choose to be a little more optimistic and think about all the truly great things happening around us, right at this very moment.
For instance, technology is pretty cool, right? And there have been so many advancements that have made it possible for us to do more, see more, experience more …
Also, just look at it this way: we"re are the only people in the history of the world who get to experience the phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey as it happens.
Future generations will be able to read the books and watch the movies, but will they get to wait anxiously for the next movie to hit theaters?
Will they, as we all surely do, remember where they were when they saw the last first trailer for a Fifty Shades film?
No. We alone have that pleasure.
So keep that in mind as we take a good, hard look at the latest Fifty Shades Freed teaser, you lucky, lucky souls.
Because if a Fifty Shades teaser doesn"t deserve this kind of analyzing, then for real, what does?
1. Anastasia’s Wedding Dress!
Look at it, look at it! That’s the dress Anastasia will wear when she becomes Mrs. Christian Grey. And it’s hanging from the ceiling because … well, that’s just what rich people do, right?
2. Sneaky Hands!
We all know it wouldn’t be Fifty Shades without some sexy times, and this little snippet from the teaser certainly doesn’t disappoint! Because hey, who DOESN’T like it when their significant other waltzes up while you’re trying to get dressed to slide his hand up your butt?!
3. YOWZA!
In this little moment, we learn that Christian Grey is so hot that when you see him strutting on the beach, you’re required to take off your sunglasses. Out of respect, probably, but also because why would you want anything to obstruct that view?
4. The Exchanging of the Rings
… Are we seriously supposed to believe that this is the wedding ring Christian would choose? Really? After seeing his helicopters and cars and homes and his vast collection of luxury butt toys, we’re supposed to think this fits his aesthetic?
5. The Ever-Surprised Anastasia
This is cute, because this is that classic moment in every relationship where one partner learns that the other owns a private jet. Who can’t relate?!
6. Sexy Sex Toys
… What is that, a wooden spoon? Seems like Anastasia is kind of overselling this bit.
Fifty Shades Freed: Check Out the Dumbest Moments (So Far)!
Question: have you ever really sat back and really thought about how blessed we are to be alive right now?
Sure, there are tons and tons of terrible things happening all around the world, but unfortunately that"s usually the case.
You can spend your time focusing on all the negatives, or you can choose to be a little more optimistic and think about all the truly great things happening around us, right at this very moment.
For instance, technology is pretty cool, right? And there have been so many advancements that have made it possible for us to do more, see more, experience more …
Also, just look at it this way: we"re are the only people in the history of the world who get to experience the phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey as it happens.
Future generations will be able to read the books and watch the movies, but will they get to wait anxiously for the next movie to hit theaters?
Will they, as we all surely do, remember where they were when they saw the last first trailer for a Fifty Shades film?
No. We alone have that pleasure.
So keep that in mind as we take a good, hard look at the latest Fifty Shades Freed teaser, you lucky, lucky souls.
Because if a Fifty Shades teaser doesn"t deserve this kind of analyzing, then for real, what does?
1. Anastasia’s Wedding Dress!
Look at it, look at it! That’s the dress Anastasia will wear when she becomes Mrs. Christian Grey. And it’s hanging from the ceiling because … well, that’s just what rich people do, right?
2. Sneaky Hands!
We all know it wouldn’t be Fifty Shades without some sexy times, and this little snippet from the teaser certainly doesn’t disappoint! Because hey, who DOESN’T like it when their significant other waltzes up while you’re trying to get dressed to slide his hand up your butt?!
3. YOWZA!
In this little moment, we learn that Christian Grey is so hot that when you see him strutting on the beach, you’re required to take off your sunglasses. Out of respect, probably, but also because why would you want anything to obstruct that view?
4. The Exchanging of the Rings
… Are we seriously supposed to believe that this is the wedding ring Christian would choose? Really? After seeing his helicopters and cars and homes and his vast collection of luxury butt toys, we’re supposed to think this fits his aesthetic?
5. The Ever-Surprised Anastasia
This is cute, because this is that classic moment in every relationship where one partner learns that the other owns a private jet. Who can’t relate?!
6. Sexy Sex Toys
… What is that, a wooden spoon? Seems like Anastasia is kind of overselling this bit.
Fifty Shades Freed: Check Out the Dumbest Moments (So Far)!
Question: have you ever really sat back and really thought about how blessed we are to be alive right now?
Sure, there are tons and tons of terrible things happening all around the world, but unfortunately that"s usually the case.
You can spend your time focusing on all the negatives, or you can choose to be a little more optimistic and think about all the truly great things happening around us, right at this very moment.
For instance, technology is pretty cool, right? And there have been so many advancements that have made it possible for us to do more, see more, experience more …
Also, just look at it this way: we"re are the only people in the history of the world who get to experience the phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey as it happens.
Future generations will be able to read the books and watch the movies, but will they get to wait anxiously for the next movie to hit theaters?
Will they, as we all surely do, remember where they were when they saw the last first trailer for a Fifty Shades film?
No. We alone have that pleasure.
So keep that in mind as we take a good, hard look at the latest Fifty Shades Freed teaser, you lucky, lucky souls.
Because if a Fifty Shades teaser doesn"t deserve this kind of analyzing, then for real, what does?
1. Anastasia’s Wedding Dress!
Look at it, look at it! That’s the dress Anastasia will wear when she becomes Mrs. Christian Grey. And it’s hanging from the ceiling because … well, that’s just what rich people do, right?
2. Sneaky Hands!
We all know it wouldn’t be Fifty Shades without some sexy times, and this little snippet from the teaser certainly doesn’t disappoint! Because hey, who DOESN’T like it when their significant other waltzes up while you’re trying to get dressed to slide his hand up your butt?!
3. YOWZA!
In this little moment, we learn that Christian Grey is so hot that when you see him strutting on the beach, you’re required to take off your sunglasses. Out of respect, probably, but also because why would you want anything to obstruct that view?
4. The Exchanging of the Rings
… Are we seriously supposed to believe that this is the wedding ring Christian would choose? Really? After seeing his helicopters and cars and homes and his vast collection of luxury butt toys, we’re supposed to think this fits his aesthetic?
5. The Ever-Surprised Anastasia
This is cute, because this is that classic moment in every relationship where one partner learns that the other owns a private jet. Who can’t relate?!
6. Sexy Sex Toys
… What is that, a wooden spoon? Seems like Anastasia is kind of overselling this bit.
Fifty Shades Freed: Check Out the Dumbest Moments (So Far)!
Question: have you ever really sat back and really thought about how blessed we are to be alive right now?
Sure, there are tons and tons of terrible things happening all around the world, but unfortunately that"s usually the case.
You can spend your time focusing on all the negatives, or you can choose to be a little more optimistic and think about all the truly great things happening around us, right at this very moment.
For instance, technology is pretty cool, right? And there have been so many advancements that have made it possible for us to do more, see more, experience more …
Also, just look at it this way: we"re are the only people in the history of the world who get to experience the phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey as it happens.
Future generations will be able to read the books and watch the movies, but will they get to wait anxiously for the next movie to hit theaters?
Will they, as we all surely do, remember where they were when they saw the last first trailer for a Fifty Shades film?
No. We alone have that pleasure.
So keep that in mind as we take a good, hard look at the latest Fifty Shades Freed teaser, you lucky, lucky souls.
Because if a Fifty Shades teaser doesn"t deserve this kind of analyzing, then for real, what does?
1. Anastasia’s Wedding Dress!
Look at it, look at it! That’s the dress Anastasia will wear when she becomes Mrs. Christian Grey. And it’s hanging from the ceiling because … well, that’s just what rich people do, right?
2. Sneaky Hands!
We all know it wouldn’t be Fifty Shades without some sexy times, and this little snippet from the teaser certainly doesn’t disappoint! Because hey, who DOESN’T like it when their significant other waltzes up while you’re trying to get dressed to slide his hand up your butt?!
3. YOWZA!
In this little moment, we learn that Christian Grey is so hot that when you see him strutting on the beach, you’re required to take off your sunglasses. Out of respect, probably, but also because why would you want anything to obstruct that view?
4. The Exchanging of the Rings
… Are we seriously supposed to believe that this is the wedding ring Christian would choose? Really? After seeing his helicopters and cars and homes and his vast collection of luxury butt toys, we’re supposed to think this fits his aesthetic?
5. The Ever-Surprised Anastasia
This is cute, because this is that classic moment in every relationship where one partner learns that the other owns a private jet. Who can’t relate?!
6. Sexy Sex Toys
… What is that, a wooden spoon? Seems like Anastasia is kind of overselling this bit.
Fifty Shades Freed: Check Out the Dumbest Moments (So Far)!
Question: have you ever really sat back and really thought about how blessed we are to be alive right now?
Sure, there are tons and tons of terrible things happening all around the world, but unfortunately that"s usually the case.
You can spend your time focusing on all the negatives, or you can choose to be a little more optimistic and think about all the truly great things happening around us, right at this very moment.
For instance, technology is pretty cool, right? And there have been so many advancements that have made it possible for us to do more, see more, experience more …
Also, just look at it this way: we"re are the only people in the history of the world who get to experience the phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey as it happens.
Future generations will be able to read the books and watch the movies, but will they get to wait anxiously for the next movie to hit theaters?
Will they, as we all surely do, remember where they were when they saw the last first trailer for a Fifty Shades film?
No. We alone have that pleasure.
So keep that in mind as we take a good, hard look at the latest Fifty Shades Freed teaser, you lucky, lucky souls.
Because if a Fifty Shades teaser doesn"t deserve this kind of analyzing, then for real, what does?
1. Anastasia’s Wedding Dress!
Look at it, look at it! That’s the dress Anastasia will wear when she becomes Mrs. Christian Grey. And it’s hanging from the ceiling because … well, that’s just what rich people do, right?
2. Sneaky Hands!
We all know it wouldn’t be Fifty Shades without some sexy times, and this little snippet from the teaser certainly doesn’t disappoint! Because hey, who DOESN’T like it when their significant other waltzes up while you’re trying to get dressed to slide his hand up your butt?!
3. YOWZA!
In this little moment, we learn that Christian Grey is so hot that when you see him strutting on the beach, you’re required to take off your sunglasses. Out of respect, probably, but also because why would you want anything to obstruct that view?
4. The Exchanging of the Rings
… Are we seriously supposed to believe that this is the wedding ring Christian would choose? Really? After seeing his helicopters and cars and homes and his vast collection of luxury butt toys, we’re supposed to think this fits his aesthetic?
5. The Ever-Surprised Anastasia
This is cute, because this is that classic moment in every relationship where one partner learns that the other owns a private jet. Who can’t relate?!
6. Sexy Sex Toys
… What is that, a wooden spoon? Seems like Anastasia is kind of overselling this bit.
Monday, September 11, 2017
Fifty Shades Freed: See the New (Super Hot) Trailer!!!
When you woke up this morning, you probably thought today was going to be a relatively normal day.
You"d probably do a little relaxing, maybe catch up on the news, go to brunch or church or what have you.
What you didn"t expect was to have your whole entire world rocked … but lucky for you, that"s what is happening!
On this very, special day, something incredible happened: another teaser for Fifty Shades Freed dropped.
Fifty Shades Freed, of course, is the third and final installment of the Fifty Shades of Grey series — that magical tale of bondage, love, and disregarded boundaries.
In hindsight, we should have known that something special would happen today, since, after all, today is the birthday of the series" protagonist, Anastasia Steele.
But the point is that the trailer is here, there"s new shirtless footage of Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey to view …
It"s a good day.
The trailer begins, if you can even believe it, with beautiful scenes from Anastasia"s wedding to Christian.
"I solemnly vow to love you faithfully, forsaking all others," he tells her as he slips the ring on her finger.
"I promise to trust and respect you," he adds, which is pretty important because, you know, he hadn"t really done that previously, "and to keep you safe for as long as we both shall live."
Of course, then she finds a gun, and there"s a car chase and somebody holds a knife to her throat, so apparently those vows went out the window pretty quick.
But still, there"s the previously mentioned shirtless Jamie Dornan, and obviously there"s a couple of bondage-y sex scenes thrown in for good measure.
The movie won"t be released until Valentine"s Day of next year, and the first full length trailer won"t drop until November.
But for now, we have this to tide us over.
And it is enough.
Check out all the action in the video below:
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
Fifty Shades Freed Trailer: They Do (Each Other)!
Fifty Shades Freed, the third installment in E.L. James" erotic trilogy that hundreds of millions of people watch to laugh at, is due out in 2018.
We"ve got your first glimpse at the epic conclusion of the film adaptation below, and suffice it to say, fans will not be disappointed.
At least we assume they won"t be.
The way we see it, if you"re a fan of the books and films at all, you know what you"re getting into at this point, and will likely see it through.
With no disrespect to Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, as Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, respectably, this is no Oscar contender.
It is what it is, to use the old cliche, and what it is is very successful and at least somewhat titillating thanks to the two leads" chemistry.
The biggest question is whether the conclusion of the trilogy will feature less nudity and more action than the two previous films.
In any case, Fifty Shades Freed will show us Anastasia and Christian as a married couple enjoying their honeymoon in Europe.
When the duo returns to Seattle, and Christian finds out that Ana has kept her maiden name, well, Mister Grey is not gonna like that.
Before this, of course, Ana and her billionaire husband will tie the knot in what can only be described as a fairy tale wedding. Or something.
“I solemnly vow to love you faithfully and to keep you safe for as long as we both shall live,” Christian tells Ana beneath her veil.
Will he keep that vow?
It"s unclear, as an unknown assailant creeps up on Steele; Ana also finds her former boss inside their apartment, unconscious.
She will even complain that her new husband is so controlling and possessive, which is sort of Christian"s thing, but we digress.
It"s not clear when Universal Studios is planning to release a full-length trailer of Fifty Shades Freed, but we"re guessing soon.
Fifty Shades Freed is set for release on February 9, 2018, so by the end of this month or early next, expect a longer preview.
Red band style.
For now, whet your appetite with the teaser below and tell us just how much you"re anticipating the film in just over five months" time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)