Fifty Shades Freed Reviews: What an Unsatisfying Climax!

Fifty Shades Freed is an actual name of an actual movie.

Based on the following reviews, meanwhile, it also may be the best part of said movie.

The final installment of a much-maligned trilogy, Fifty Shades Freed once again stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, as the actors have a lot of rough sex and get engaged in a lot of ridiculous plot machinations.

Just how terrible is Fifty Shades Freed?

Scroll down to read the most scathing reviews!

1. Entertainment Weekly, Chris Nashawaty

The thriller plot with Hyde is wafer thin. So director James Foley (yes, the same James Foley who somehow once directed Glengarry Glen Ross and then apparently lost a bet with Satan) appeals to our collective weakness for materialistic envy with ritzy mountain vacations, bubble baths, and visits to the infamous Red Room of Pain. As an actress, Johnson sells all of this hooey better than Dornan, who, three films in, hasn’t gotten much better as an actor.

2. Vulture, Emily Yoshida

[These films] look more out of step with the times than ever. As the trilogy goes out, more desperate than ever to convince us it was in on the joke all along, it’s hard to say exactly what the joke was.

3. The Guardian, Benjamin Lee

The dialogue just exists. Its purpose is to slowly edge the feather-light plot forward rather than provide any depth or humor to any interaction. There’s more of an attempt here to add the loose outline of a thriller narrative to occupy the scenes when they’re not having boring sex but it’s of the daytime soap variety (at one point a character gets kidnapped outside a gym). There’s never any real danger or real emotion or real anything here, to be honest, it’s as if it’s playing in the background, and no one involved can be bothered to add color or life or even a frisson of passion.

4. The Wrap, Anna Hartley

Although it tries to hide it by cramming in fist fights, car chases and kidnapping, “Fifty Shades Freed” suffers from a lack of rhythm, moving from plot point to plot point with as much spontaneity as meal-planning for one’s luxury penthouse household with one’s housekeeper. It’s clichéd, stodgy and overly faithful to the original books. But at the end of the day, who cares?

5. Collider, Matt Goldberg

There’s a lot I could tolerate with these movies—the fact that they worship at the altar of wealth and confuse gratuitous displays of money with love (I know Christian can whisk Ana away to Aspen whenever he wants, but I’d be shocked if he knew the title of her favorite book); that Dornan and Johnson clearly despise each other (the only scene where they seem to have any connection is one where Ana and Christian are angrily yelling at each other); and that the sex scenes are bland because there’s no chemistry between the actors. But I draw the line at trying to normalize someone like Christian without ever forcing him to change his behavior.

6. The Telegraph, Robbie Collin

This is a film in which one of the more emotionally detailed performances is given by a product-placement Audi.

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Justice League Reviews Are In. And They"re Hilariously Harsh.

Justice League is a failure on pretty much every level.

That basically sums the take of movie critics around the country.

In short, the film is terrible.

This probably doesn"t come as a major shock to anyone who has seen the Justice League trailer or followed the behind-the-scenes problems that have plagued production.

But you should still scroll down to see just how negative the reviews actually are…

1. The Ringer:

Justice League is another attempt to course-correct what some believe were [Zach] Snyder’s botched early entries in the DC universe… The movie wants to be grand, it wants to be fun, but in the end, it’s just another loud, lifeless, high-tech bore

2. Us Weekly:

If a D.C. universe movie is truly going to triumph, it needs to add something fresh to the genre. The sight of well-muscled, costumed superheroes standing in a line ready to take charge doesn’t have the same oomph as it did five years ago. Bring on the excitement and the death-defying thrills and kooky humor for the sequel. After all, nothing is more frustrating than a big-budget extravaganza that just flies by night.

3. New York Times:

The movie shows a series that’s still finding its footing as well as characters who, though perhaps not yet as ostensibly multidimensional as Marvel’s, may be more enduring (and golden). It has justice, and it has banter. And while it could have used more hanging out, more breeziness, it is a start.

4. Vanity Fair:

I could be projecting, but boy does poor Gal Gadot look so sad in Justice League, watching this lumbering and witless movie lay waste to the nice thing she just got finished making. It really is a shame. What a dumb irony, to end this movie, of all movies, on a note of bitter injustice like that.

5. The Verge:

On a moment-to-moment basis, though, Justice League often feels fractured. Whedon’s reshoots are sometimes painfully obvious, as when Flash and Cyborg share a brief personal moment in a graveyard that looks as cheap as a first-season Buffy the Vampire Slayer set. While those scenes can seem roughly interpolated and out-of-place, though, they often offer the film’s most meaningful character moments and flashes of humor and humanity. A quick gag involving Aquaman reveals more about him than the entire rest of the film’s two-hour runtime.

6. Chicago Tribune:

The dialogue is painful. [Ezra] Miller’s neurotic routine is initially quite charming, until his one-liners become incredibly cheesy and tired. Aquaman peppers his speech with many dude-brah phrases, while Cyborg, regrettably, utters “boo-yah” at one point.

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Game of Thrones Season 7 Finale Draws Record Ratings, Mixed Reviews

Well, it may have been shorter than we would have liked, but Game of Thrones Season 7 certainly delivered the goods in terms of both drama and dragons.

(Some have argued that the season felt a little too jam-packed, but more on that later.)

Of course, of greatest concern for the suits at HBO is the fact that the show came through in the most imporant category of all–the ratings.

Game of Thrones has broken so many ratings records in the past that the possibility of another premium cable series ever coming within shouting distance already seemed unlikely.

Yet somehow, the high-fantasy juggernaut continues to top itself with each new season, and it hit another high water mark with Sunday night’s “The Dragon and the Wolf.”

An estimated 16.5 million viewers watched the show during its first airing on Sunday night.

Streaming services may bring that number to 20 million before the week is out.

Those are impressive stats for any series wrapping up its seventh season.

They’re downright astonishing for a pay-channel show featuring a dense narrative and sprawling cast of characters that make casual fandom virtually impossible.

Of course, GoT isn’t the sort of show that fans are likely to jump ship on, a la Theon Greyjoy, with just a handful of episodes remaining.

So in a way, the massive viewership was something of a foregone conclusion.

But the show’s frenzied seventh season was considerably more popular with viewers than it was with critics, many of whom felt that key scenes felt rushed, the show abandoned many of the rules it had spent seasons painstakingly establishing, and the story occasionally reached eye-roll-inducing levels of absurdity.

For the most part, we were thoroughly riveted, but we have to admit that there were moments that took the necessary suspension of disbelief to absurd levels, even by the standards of a show that features a freakin’ zombie dragon.

The most glaring “oh, come on!” moments came during the season’s penultimate installment, which saw Jon and his motley crew of wight-hunters headed north of the Wall for a mission loaded with deus ex machina moments (Gendry runs awfully fast for someone who’s never seen snow!) and other instances that seriously strain credulity.

Game of Thrones Season 7 Finale Behind the Scenes

(So who among the aqua-phobic White Walkers dove into the water to attach those chains to Viserion?)

But these technical story-telling issues are to be expected from a show that has so many plot strands to tie together in such a short period of time.

We’re less forgiving of the many reunion scenes we’ve been awaiting for several seasons that were given short shrift, instead of being treated as the long-awaited tear-jerkers the audience deserves.

As the above behind-the-scenes featurette reminds us, it’s the cast and the richly-imagined they helped bring to life that we’ll remember more than the special effects (as jaw-dropping as they often are).

Showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss would do well to remember that in the episodes to come.

The show has just six episodes left to wrap up a story of a scale and scope that television has never seen before.

Short of a full-blown Sopranos cut-to-black, it would be nearly impossible for GoT to deliver a wholly unsatisfactory finale.

We just hope the battle for the Iron Throne concludes in a fashion that’s deserving of the richly complex and beautifully realized story that brought us to this point.

Watch Game of Thrones online at TV Fanatic to relive all 67 episodes in time before what’s sure to be a bittersweet curtain call.

View Slideshow: Game of Thrones Season 7 Finale Photos: Where’s Daenerys?!

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The Mummy Reviews Are Out ... and They Are Vicious!

The Mummy comes out tomorrow, and … the reviews aren’t great. Actually, they’re pretty aggressively negative.

Even as exciting as The Mummy‘s trailers were, we can’t say that we’re surprised. 

Disappointed, absolutely. Angry … a little. But not surprised.

The first thing about this film that made us cringe, months ago, was Tom Cruise starring in it. He just isn’t likable.

Sure, plenty of his characters are likable, be himself isn’t.

He’s Scientology’s golden boy and he also tends to come across as bonkers.

And while he looks great for his age, he’s no longer in a place where he can rely on his looks to carry him.

At least, not with younger crowds who lack very specific daddy issues.

There’s also the running joke about how Tom Cruise is “always running from things” in movies. There’s a ridicule factor.

Well, the reviewers had a lot to say.

Reviewers weren’t impressed by the newbie director who had been a writer on Star Trek Into Darkness, Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen, and Cowboys And Aliens.

In other words, in a bunch of big movies that weren’t even a little bit good (did anybody else need to drink to get through Into Darkness? It wasn’t just an affront to everything that Star Trek represents, it was also just a bad movie).

But they also had some choice words about casting Tom Cruise in the lead.

“I never came to think of Cruise’s character as anything more than a lying cheat who would occasionally do the right thing,” said Daniel Krupa for IGN.

“Imagine if there was only ever enough time to show the worst facets of Indiana Jones or Nathan Drake,” he continued.

So, basically, we have a protagonist who is at least as unlikable as Tom Cruise himself. That’s … not good.

“Cruise is perfectly fine in an unchallenging role, but there isn’t enough time to make Nick into even a generic loveable rogue.”

Krupa’s description … just makes us want to watch the 1999 film again. Those were some lovable protagonists.

Sometimes, casting decisions seem to be made independently of what character someone’s playing.

Like, Chris Pratt is great on Parks and Recreation and in Guardians of the Galaxy, but those are both lovable roles for a lovable actor.

He should not be playing predatory creeps like in Passengers or an unfriendly jerk like in Jurassic World. Those casting choices are wastes of Pratt.

Even some reviewers who seem to normally be able to enjoy Tom Cruise films didn’t love The Mummy.

“The Mummy is the first Cruise-starring picture in decades in which his part seems like it could have been played by anybody,” said Bilge Elbiri for The Village Voice.

“Not only is The Mummy the worst movie that Tom Cruise has ever made, it’s also obviously the worst movie that Tom Cruise has ever made,” reports David Ehrlich for Indiewire.

Ouch.

It seems that even people who go to see it in theaters might not get to “see” much of the film.

“This is a Dark Universe indeed. Other than the one bit set on a plane plummeting to Earth, the action scenes are shot in such low light that you can barely see what’s going on,” reviewed Jordan Hoffman for Popular Mechanics.

Ugh, we hate when things are filmed in darkvision. Even sepia is preferable.

Apparently the film’s one truly redeeming quality was the titular character — Princess Ahmanet, played by the beautiful and talented Sofia Boutella.

You might recognize Sofia from Atomic Blonde trailers or from Star Trek Beyond, and she’s a very likable actress.

She’s also, according to some reviewers, the one bright point of the film. Just … not enough to save the whole thing.

“Easily the best part of the movie is Boutella,” says Sarah from LaineyGossip before continuing:

“She has such tremendous physicality that even though you can tell there’s some CGI polish applied, you can also tell that Boutella is really crawling around, contorting herself into broken mummy shapes that are easily the creepiest thing in the movie.”

That, at least, is a relief. Nobody watched Snow White and the Huntsman for the protagonist — they went to see Queen Ravenna.

We did, anyway.

Look, I’m a huge fan of mummies and Ancient Egyptian stuff.

I know just enough Ancient Egyptian to have caught, like, six works when they were speaking in The Mummy (1999) and The Mummy Returns, and adored both of those goofy films.

I watched Mummies Alive! as a kid. I love the Dr. Kara Cooney documentary series Out Of Egypt.

So … this is disappointing, even on just a personal level.

It’s disappointing to fans of monster movies and of mummies and of films doing well.

And a huge disappointment for fans of the original films … even though not all of them were enthused about a reboot.

Perhaps most of all, it’s certainly a disappointment for the studio.

Of course, even bad movies do well at the box office. Like, Dawn Of Justice was basically unwatchable except when Wonder Woman was on screen, but it was a financial success.

It doesn’t sound like this film’s, you know, good. But Boutella’s scenes might be worth watching … but maybe just in a YouTube supercut.

On the plus side, if this Dark Universe thing doesn’t pan out … at least maybe Johnny Depp won’t get to star in The Invisible Man.

Every time that Johnny Depp isn’t in a movie is a small victory, you know?

View Slideshow: 53 Fun Photos of Tom Cruise

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Critics SAVAGE Latest Pirates of the Caribbean: Read the Reviews!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales will likely make a lot of money at the box office.

Which is good news for star Johnny Depp, who could use every last cent these days.

But critics across the country are positively SLAMMING both Depp and the latest installment in this franchise, which has clearly run out of ideas, humor and any semblance of entertainment.

Consider the Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales reviews below before you head out to the theater this weekend…

1. Angie Han, Mashable:

Oh, if only dead men told no tales. Then we might have avoided this fifth Pirates of the Caribbean adventure, which fails to justify its own existence in any way whatsoever.

2. John DeFore, The Hollywood Reporter:

Johnny Depp’s cartoonishly louche Keith Richards-meets-Hunter Thompson pirate Jack Sparrow, the globally recognized caricature who by now feels (appropriately) more like a theme-park mascot than a Hollywood swashbuckler. Depp remains wholeheartedly the focus of this fifth Pirates film, and saying the character’s loopy novelty has faded is like complaining that there are maggots in the below-decks gruel: You knew what you were getting when you came aboard.

3. Andrew Barker, Variety:

His performance here is no better and no worse than in his previous two or three outings, though what once was a bracingly anarchic approach is starting to feel a bit old hat, like a standup comic rehashing vintage punchlines for cheers of recognition, rather than laughs.

4. Jim Vejvoda, IGN:

Jack’s schtick is so tired now – it’s been tired since the second film, frankly – but Johnny Depp does seem to be trying a wee bit harder to deliver here than he was in his sleepwalking turn in On Stranger Tides. Still, it is like seeing a classic rock band perform uninspired encores of their biggest hits, with only fleeting reminders of the magic that made you like their music to begin with.

5. DeFore Again, on The Rest of The Cast:

[Kaya] Scodelario, of the Maze Runner films and Andrea Arnold’s Wuthering Heights, is just about the only member of the cast who seems to believe she’s expected to be more than a thin generic functionary or flamboyant scene-stealer. Which is unfortunate, given how Jeff Nathanson’s screenplay sometimes treats her.

6. Matt Singer, Screencrush:

[Salazar is] played by Javier Bardem in a performance that is at least 45 percent him hissing the words “Jack” and “Sparrow” repeatedly while black goo drips off his lips. Bardem’s absurdly hammy work here makes his Skyfall villain look like a model of thespianic restraint in comparison.

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Rogue One Reviews: Is The Force With This Star Wars Story?

The social media buzz over the latest Star Wars offering, Rogue One, may not be quite what it was for last year’s The Force Awakens, but we suppose that’s to be expected.

After all, that film not marked the beloved franchise’s return to theaters after a ten-year absence, it had trusted sequel and reboot architect J.J. Abrams at the helm.

And it didn’t hurt that TFA was the next installment of an ongoing saga, whereas Rogue One is something else entirely …

The Gareth Edwards-directed film has been described as more of a spinoff than a proper sequel, tonally different from the rest of the franchise, as it offers a view of the rebels as a gritty band of guerillas.

Does the risk pay off?

Well, here’s what some top critics have to say:

“A tense, well-made spacefaring war movie about a desperate and demoralized band of insurgents standing up against a rising authoritarian regime.” – Chris Klimek, NPR

“Except for a few jocose, fan-serving moments, the movie is a dour affair, lacking the charm and chills of J.J. Abrams’s spirited Star Wars: The Force Awakens, not to mention George Lucas’s founding trilogy.” – Leah Pickett, Chicago Reader

“The good news is that Edwards’ effort to make a storm-the-beach war film produces a tense third act that earns most of its big moments and also justifies much of what’s come before.” – Matthew Lickona, San Diego Reader

“Rogue One does a great job of walking the fine line between being a Star Wars film and not feeling like any other Star Wars film.” – Matt Neal, The Standard 

“The movie didn’t rekindle the thrill of seeing, say, The Empire Strikes Back, but Rogue One will loom pretty large in the Star Wars galaxy – if only because there’s so little competition.” – David Edelstein, New York Magazine

As evidenced by its 85% fresh score on Rotten Tomatoes, the is doing well with critics overall, but falls short of the standard set by TFA.

Still, it seems that Star Wars obsessives but this darker vision of their favorite far away galaxy.

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Collateral Beauty Reviews: Is This the Worst Movie of All-Time?

Collateral Beauty already has the worst movie title of the year.

That (dis)honor was awarded as soon as we learned of the new Will Smith film.

But it now seems possible that Collateral Beauty is simply the worst movie of the year… or of any year, for that matter.

The drama stars Smith as an ad executive in New York City who is mourning the loss of his daughter.

He’s doing so by penning personal letters to Death, Time, and Love in order to form a personal connection with the universe, while also hoping to receive some answers about his daughter’s death.

But things get weird (and ridiculously sentimental) when Death, Time and Love actually respond to Smith’s character… in the form of Helen Mirren, Keira Knightley and others.

The cast is exceptional.

The reviews have been anything but.

They are so bad, in fact, that it’s worth simply reading them for yourself.

Consider this a Public Service Announcement, as we aim to save readers the money they would have spent to actually go see Collateral Beauty.

Based on the following reviews, you’d be better off giving this cash to Jill Stein for a Presidential recount in Texas…

Jude Dry (IndieWire):

“Seeing Smith play a failed father calls to mind the similarly heavy-handed The Pursuit of Happyness, the 2006 film that earned Smith an Oscar nomination that year. That movie at least tackled the somewhat noble goal of depicting the true story of a man struggling to raise himself out of poverty and homelessness.

“With the bizarre way Whit and his crew talk about numbers and money, Collateral Beauty is just another story about spoiled rich people.”

Owen Gleiberman (Variety):

“The trouble with Collateral Beauty, though, isn’t the actors. It’s the movie itself, which keeps piling on the devices until it becomes top-heavy.

“A decade ago, in The Pursuit of Happyness, Smith proved he had the stuff to make a down-and-out character stingingly authentic, but in Collateral Beauty, when he gets all red-rimmed and teary, it feels like the actor’s showcase it is, because the film’s whole experience of suffering is engineered.

“Instead of using its metaphysical-deception plot as a conduit to genuine emotion, it just pushes the gimmickry further, suggesting that there’s a secret reason why Mirren, Knightley, and Latimore are so good at leading Smith’s wounded hero to a better place.”

Collateral Beauty Trailer

David Rooney (The Hollywood Reporter):

“Even if it hadn’t come along so soon after Manchester By the Sea, Kenneth Lonergan’s symphonic drama about a father emotionally crippled by loss, Collateral Beauty would look like silly high-concept Hollywood grief porn.

“That’s not to say David Frankel’s all-star weepie doesn’t work on its own manipulative terms, spreading its trail of goopy sentiment and inspirational homilies with technical finesse and some decent acting against the picturesque backdrop of New York City in the holidays. Audiences unconcerned about their sugar levels might eat it up.”

Peter Bradshaw (The Guardian):

“This horrifyingly yucky, toxically cutesy ensemble dramedy creates a Chernobyl atmosphere of manipulative sentimentality, topped off with an ending which M Night Shyamalan might reject as too ridiculous. This isn’t Frank Capra. It is emotional literacy porn, like an aspirational self-help bestseller written by Keyser Söze.

“At the end of it, I screamed the way polar bears are supposed to when they get their tongues frozen to the ice.”

Dan Callahan (The Wrap):

“An all-star cast submits to flagrant actor abuse in Collateral Beauty, which is every bit as lame as its title.

“To paraphrase Groucho Marx, this is a movie where we watch Will Smith, Edward Norton, Kate Winslet, Helen Mirren, Naomie Harris, Keira Knightley and several other fine players bore holes in themselves so that we can watch the sap run out.”

Alan Scherstuhl (Village Voice):

“[Smith is] really convincing as someone who doesn’t want to be there. It’s the kind of serious performance you sometimes see from Adam Sandler or Robin Williams when they mistake ‘seriousness’ for giving us nothing.”

Stephen Whitty (New York Daily News):

“The rest of the actors are only passable, though, and Keira Knightley has turned into a parody of herself – eyes perpetually wide and sideways, mouth slightly open.

“Really, she has one expression throughout the entire movie: Embarrassed disbelief. Perhaps that was her reaction to reading the script.”

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Suicide Squad Reviews: Are These Supervillains to Die For?

Even before the first trailer hit the web last year, anticipation for Suicide Squad was sky-high, and it’s not hard to see why.

Suicide Squad Trailer

After all, this was a movie that seemed to offer an interesting twist on the superhero flicks that have inundated multiplexes for the past several years.

While those films still make major bucks at the box office, moviegoers seem to be growing wary of effects spectaculars with near-three-hour runtimes in which flying men in tights brood over the existential quandaries that accompany superheroism.

Squad promised something more fun and frivolous, but at the same time more sinister.

It also offers Jared Leto as the Joker, one of the most buzzed-about performances in recent memory.

Oh, and Margot Robbie in hot pants doesn’t hurt, either.

Sadly, it seems this is a classic case of all sizzle and no steak, as just days before the film’s release, this Squad is getting more side-eyes than Taylor Swift’s problematic chick clique.

Check out some of some of the many (many) unfavorable reviews below:

“Everyone started making a movie before they really knew what they were doing. You need adults in charge, and there are no adults in charge here. The result is, yet again, a total sh-tshow.” – Will Leitch, The New Republic

“If you know someone you really can’t stand – not someone you dislike, not someone who rubs you the wrong way, but someone you really loathe and detest – send that person a ticket for Suicide Squad.” –  Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle

“Suicide Squad is a so-so, off-peak superhero movie. It chases after the nihilistic swagger of Deadpool and the anarchic whimsy of Guardians of the Galaxy but trips over its own feet. – A.O. Scott, New York Times

“The year’s most muddled piece of storytelling.” – David Edelstein, New York Magazine

There you have it. 

Sadly, it sounds like Squad is the cinematic equivalent of a leap from a tall building.

Orange is the New Black Season 4 Reviews: The Best Season Yet?!

Weather forecasts are showing balmy temperatures and cloudless skies across most of the country this weekend, but if you’re the type who bursts into flames after ten minutes of sunshine, fear not:

You now have a perfectly good excuse for staying inside all weekend, as critics are saying Orange is the New Black Season 4, which dropped on Netflix at midnight, may be the show’s strongest outing to date.

The 13-episode run currently holds an astonishing 100% on review aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes, and for the many fans who fear the show veered too deep into sitcom territory last season, the critics offer assurances that Season 4 is as dark as it is brilliant.

Check out some of the reviews below:

“Orange is a thing unto itself, and based on the brilliant fourth season, it’s sturdy enough to hold up for years to come.” – Joshua Alston, AV Club

“For a show that has always played on themes of privilege and power, this season’s dark trajectory is as inevitable as it is haunting.” – Bethonie Butler, Washington Post

View Slideshow: Orange is the New Black Cast: Before They Were Stars…

“While this fourth chapter in the saga of Litchfield Penitentiary gets off to a bumpier start than usual, it ends on such powerful notes that if you’ve ever been a fan, you simply have to view all 13 episodes.” – Jen Chaney, New York Magazine

“I would say that if you love Orange Is The New Black, you’re going to be pleased with the way the new season unfolds. If you’re more skeptical of its ongoing strength, you may feel, as I did, that some of the show’s irritating habits have increased.” – Ken Tucker, Yahoo!

Orange is the New Black Season 4 Trailer: New Blood, New Rules

“Based on the first six episodes of the 4th season, OITNB remains fresh, funny/sad, smart, inventive, well-written, and particularly well-acted.” – Verne Gay, Newsday

“Netflix’s Orange Is the New Black is better than ever in its dark, dauntless fourth chapter.” – Isaac Feldberg, Boston Globe

“There might be new stories to tell, but on Orange, just like in Litchfield, the OGs still rule.” – Melissa Maerz, Entertainment Weekly

“This ambitious mix of comedy and drama is about to get more ambitious. A complex show is about to get more complex. An acclaimed series is about to earn more acclaim.” – Mark Dawidziak, Cleveland Plain Dealer

So binge away, children. The sun will be there next weekend, right?

Batman v Superman Gets Awful Reviews; Sad Ben Affleck Reacts in Hilarious Video

Unless you"ve spent the past year holed up in the Fortress of Solitude, you know that the awkwardly-titled, yet highly-anticipated Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice finally hit theaters last night.

The film"s marketing campaign is about the only thing that"s been going on longer than the current race for the White House. Unfortunately, according to the critics, the clash between the Dark Knight and the Man of Steel isn"t nearly as entertaining.

BvS currently holds a paltry 30% score on review aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes.

Some of the most memorable slams include:

"Everything is shrouded in a kind of black sludge, and frankly, it"s depressing." – Jeffrey M. Anderson, San Francisco Examiner

"I wouldn"t mind if these guys were dour depressives or psychopathic murderers as long as they didn"t spend ten minutes talking about it first." – Vince Mancini, Film Drunk

"There"s no joy here, no wonder or spectacle, just a relentlessly grim and intense grind that can"t stop reminding you how grim and intense it is." – Jules Boyle, Daily Record

"The sandbox they are given to romp around in is stupid, stupid, stupid." – Phil Villarreal, OK! magazine

Bad news if you"re a fan of comic book movies; great news if you love hilarious Internet videos making fun of Ben Affleck.

But hey don"t feel too bad for the dour Batfleck. The guy got to play one of the coolest roles in movie history and cuddle superhero puppies when he was done.

Oh, plus he"s a famous millionaire. But more importantly – superhero. Puppies.

 

 

The Hunger Games Mockingjay - Part 2 Reviews: Are the Odds in its Favor?

The Girl on Fire is about to fizzle out.

But not before she gets revenge for herself, her District and all the other Districts out there. So we assume, at least.

The Hunger Games Mockingjay – Part 2 hits theaters on November 20, with Jennifer Lawrence putting on her pin and picking up her bow-and-arrow one final time.

What are critics saying about the final installment of this beloved franchise?

It’s safe to assume you’re going to see it as soon as possible no matter what, but here’s a rundown of some positive and negative The Hunger Games Mockingjay – Part  reviews:

As it turns out, they saved the best for last. “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2” is a dark film, in a dramatically satisfying way. – The Arizona Republic

Mockingjay – Part 2 deserves credit for incorporating real-world themes like media manipulation, terrorism and power vacuums, but its somber-faced, hand-wringing treatment can be tough to take seriously. – Newsday

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay — Part 2 brings the four-film saga of Katniss Everdeen and her revolutionary war to a dutiful, fairly satisfying if undeniably attenuated conclusion. – The Chicago Tribune

View Slideshow: The Hunger Games: Our Favorite Characters, Ranked!

Mockingjay – Part 2 is a grim, dark, trippy, violent and sometimes just plain bizarre journey, which makes for a fitting if uneven conclusion to a film series that’s always been weird. – The Chicago Sun-Times

It’s a rare film adaptation that improves upon the original text, highlighting its crucial themes while streamlining and shaping the action into something legible and gripping. – Vanity Fair

This fourth and final entry into the cinematic world of Katniss and company is a bit of overkill, but certainly will please fans who can now say they have lived though the whole epic story which of course was cooked up by Suzanne Collins in her literary trilogy. – Deadline

All those years ago when I turned my nose at the first film for its apparently franchise-friendly machinations, and at the second film for how the marketing contradicted the messaging, I was falling head-first into a trap. Well played, Katniss. Well played. – Forbes

Perez Reviews: Spring Awakening

We did not enjoy the original Broadway production of Spring Awakening – for many reasons. To recap: too dark, felt unfinished and felt like it belonged more off-Broadway.

So, we went in to this new revival with very low expectations and were very pleasantly surprised.

This new production – done with hearing and deaf actors – makes the show feel super fresh. There is much more going on this time around.

There’s also some much needed levity. There’s more humor in this one. And Spencer Liff‘s choreography and staging adds sooooo much to the show!

Michael Arden did a superb job directing and some truly standout performances from Camryn Manheim, Andy Mientus, Austin McKenzie and Katie Boeck.

Definitely worth seeing, even if didn’t like the original production!