Throughout most of American history, Inauguration Day was a light occasion filled with pomp and circumstance, a bit of formal frivolity before the president gets down to the serious business of running the country.
The inauguration of Donald Trump, however, has proven to be an ongoing source of controversy, as the president continues to use his tiny fingers to tweet about his bigly crowd, because with all of his political experience, this presidenting stuff should be a piece of cake, right?
At first, the man who is somehow seriously the leader of the free world was the one keeping the inauguration in the headlines, as he had his frightened-looking mouthpiece yell at the press that they were wrong and like totally everyone cool came to the ceremony.
Now, it’s a tantrum thrown by a different soulless blonde that’s captured the media’s attention.
If you’ve been the unfolding darkest timeline that is the news these days, you’re no doubt familiar with Trump adviser, “alternative facts” aficionado, and sentient scarecrow Kellyanne Conway.
Now, it seems Conway can officially add “scrappy barroom brawler” to her resume.
According to Fox News correspondent Charles Gasparino, Kellyanne took some clown to pound town at the post-inaugural Libery Ball Friday night.
Gasparino thought the whole thing was super badass and he shared every detail in a breathless Facebook post:
“A bunch of anarchist thugs began to descend on us screaming ‘hey Chachi are u fascist?’ One made an aggressive move toward us i shoved him away and he said ‘touch me again u little prick and I’ll smack u’ my response:
“‘GFY asshole’ that’s when my producer Brian Schwartz intervened and crisis was averted.
“Part two was even more insane: inside the ball we see a fight between two guys in tuxes and then suddenly out of nowhere came trump adviser Kellyanne Conway who began throwing some mean punches at one of the guys.
“Whole thing lasted a few mins no one was hurt except maybe the dude she smacked. Now I know why trump hired her. Btw I exaggerate none of this.”
There was a time when we would’ve dismissed this as a lot of alt-nonsense to us, but there was also a time when we didn’t believe Donald Trump had a shot in hell at being elected president.
These days, anything goes.
Who’s to say Conway didn’t knock out some Chachi-hating radicals without spilling her cosmo?
If only she’d been there to defend Richard Spencer so the Hitler youth didn’t have to spill Nazi tears all over the Internet.
