Brad Pitt’s Make It Right Foundation is being sued by 2 New Orleans residents who claim the organization built and sold defective homes in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. The plaintiffs live in NOLA’s Lower Ninth Ward, and according to the suit…
Showing posts with label Pitt's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pitt's. Show all posts
Saturday, September 8, 2018
Tuesday, June 5, 2018
Jennifer Aniston Is PREGNANT WITH BRAD PITT"S BABY!!! (According to Ridiculous Tabloid Report)
These days, Jennifer Aniston is on the market, having recently ended her marriage to Justin Theroux.
Brad Pitt is not single, and is currently dating Neri Oxman, but will the internet let a few pesky facts interfere with news so fake it still stinks of the beluga and Smirnoff they serve for lunch at the Kremlin?
We think you know the answer to that question.
Yes, word on the social media street today is that Aniston is pregnant with Pitt’s baby.
While it’s fun to joke about every single nonsensical rumor originating in Moscow, it seems this report comes to us from Down Under.
Specifically, we can thank the Aussie tabloid Woman’s Day, which recently claimed that Brad and Jen are married, and has been pushing the “pregnant Jen” fan fiction since the days when Ross and Rachel were on a break.
This time, the report has picked up some added legitimacy thanks to OK! magazine, which made the baffling decision to run with the story.
“Jen: Yes I’m Pregnant — With Brad’s Baby!” exclaims the tabloid’s latest issue.
The piece itself uses the international language of BS to “report” on the story without ever stating a single fact.
“Sources are buzzing,” OK! claims, insisting that Aniston and Pitt are “finally on their way to becoming a family” while offering nothing in the way of evidence.
“During one of their romantic get-togethers that Jen surprised Brad with a proposal — to have a baby with her,” an “insider” contends.
“Of course he agreed.”
Note that at no point does the source actually claim that Jen is pregnant.
The best OK! could do was find someone willing to claim that Pitt and Aniston talked about having a baby at one point.
The source went on to claim that the actors are “blissfully, if quietly, happy and planning next steps,” which doesn’t mean anything, and is not how people talk.
It might seem like we’re going particularly hard on OK! for doing what tabloids have done since time immemorial, but we’ve really reached the point where this particular rumor needs to be put to bed.
We know the tabloid media has a long history of pairing up celebs who have zero interest in one another romantically, but this magazine is particularly shameless when it comes to playing … OK! Cupid.
We’ll show ourselves out.
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
Jennifer Aniston: PREGNANT With Brad Pitt"s Baby?!?!
In the six weeks since the world learned that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux have split up, rumors about how and why the couple called it quits have been circulating non-stop.
Not surprisingly, the most salacious reports center around Jen’s first husband, actor and beloved menopausal fantasy inspiration Brad Pitt.
According to breathless tabloid headlines and your Aunt Linda who still watches her old Thelma and Louise VHS before bed, Pitt and Aniston are back together, and they’re furiously making up for lost time.
Actual media outlets have already claimed that Brad and Jennifer are married.
These reports are substantiated by nothing other than tips from anonymous sources who talk the way gossip columnists write.
(Pro tip: No one uses the word “steamy” in real life.)
Every time one of these fraudulent reports goes to print, an implicit challenge is issued to other gossip outlets.
And as you can see, the Aussie ‘bloid Woman’s Day was all like, “We’ll see your fake wedding and raise you a fake pregnancy.”
The magazine boldly declares “Yes! Jen’s Pregnant!” without even bothering to cover its ass with a speculative question mark.
“Just months after secretly reigniting their romance,” the former couple is “expecting a much longed-for child,” the cover story claims.
“Friends say the thrilling and surprising news that Jen is pregnant is the real reason the rekindled exes went public with their relationship so soon.”
The story comes complete with a fabricated source who says Jen has cut out booze and cigs, which is the tabloid world’s surest sign that a female celebrity is carrying octuplets:
“In the past two weeks the only social events she’s agreed to have been the non-boozy ones,” says the source.
Exciting stuff, if you’re the type to buy into shameless BS.
Of course, just because the Jen pregnancy story is utter nonsense, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing of value in the newest issue of Woman’s Day.
Like, you convince yourself that due to our increasingly homogeneous global culture, English-speaking countries are all pretty much the same.
Then you find out Aussies are just now getting Young Sheldon and there’s such a thing as a “cricket WAG.” Crikey!
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Angelina Jolie: Adopting Another Kid Against Brad Pitt"s Wishes?!
Just when you thought all the high drama and endless scandal of the Brangelina divorce was coming to an end …
Oh, you silly fools. It will never, ever end.
For the rest of all time, we’ll hear stories about what really caused Angeline Jolie to file for divorce from Brad Pitt, what happened during their custody battle, how they’re handling co-parenting …
You get the picture.
And, judging by this interesting new report, Angelina might even be thinking about expanding the picture.
That is to say, she’s allegedly considering adding yet another child to her family!
According to sources close to Angelina, she is “longing for another baby” — a baby that would give her a total of seven (!!!) children.
However, Brad isn’t so into the idea, because he’s “worried what impact it will have on their kids.”
It’s an issue they had when they were together, too: apparently Angelina always “desperately” wanted that seventh child, but “Brad always said no.”
Specifically, “He felt their family was complete and that Angelina was crazy for wanting another kid.”
Judging by this new report, Angelina obviously disagrees.
It’s interesting though, because at this point, Brad has no say in whether or not Angelina chooses to adopt another child — or another dozen children, for that matter.
And don’t act like you can’t see her doing that, you know that woman has the potential to go full Duggar.
But while it’s true that it’s no longer Brad’s place to help her make decisions like that, it’s also true that he’s allowed to have an opinion on the matter.
After all, any children that she adopts will be little brothers and sisters to Brad’s kids.
Another interesting thing to consider here is the possibility that Angelina could be considering adopting again — or even just putting out the rumor that she’s considering adopting again — to switch up the narrative.
Don’t know if you heard, but Brad has definitely been coming off as the good guy in the divorce.
We’ve heard countless reports in the past few months about how miserable Angelina is, and how much she regrets filing for divorce.
One such report claimed that “She didn’t always acknowledge it, but Brad was a huge help — breaking up fights, reading to the little ones. He used to cook for them too.”
“Now that she has to do everything, she’s overwhelmed and anxious all the time. Between that and the stress of strategizing this divorce, she’s barely sleeping and not eating.”
So would a new baby solve all these problems? Of course not — it would worsen them, clearly.
But would a new baby bring her some positive press for the first time in a long time? Eh.
Whatever she chooses to do, we hope she does so for the right reasons.
A revenge baby is never a good look, you know?
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Rihanna: Hoping to Be Brad Pitt"s Rebound Piece?!
Unless you’ve been shutting out all media in hopes of avoiding any talk of bad hombres and nasty women, you’re probably aware that Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt.
You may also be aware that Pitt is rather popular among the ladies and probably won’t be sleeping alone for very long.
Pitt has probably already rebounded more times than Wilt Chamberlain, which is an analogy that works on multiple levels.
Even so, there’s no shortage of famous women who want to be the special lady to help Brad get over his messy split with Jolie.
Jennifer Garner joked about dating Brad, and Kate Hudson openly said she’d be DTF if Brad gave her a call.
Now, according to Star magazine, Rihanna is the latest female celeb to enter the race for the Pitt Dong.
In an article hilariously titled, “Rihanna Hot To Trot With Brad!” the tabloid claims RiRi has had her eye on Brad for years.
(Hilariously, the piece is sub-titled, “She’s offering Angie’s ex a sexy shoulder to cry on!” Sexy shoulder! HA!)
“You look at Brad Pitt and it’s like, ‘Damn!’” Rihanna allegedly said to a friend, sounding very much like a middle-aged tabloid writer attempting to approximate the dialect of the “urban youth.”
“Now that Angelina Jolie’s kicked Brad to the curb and filed for divorce, RiRi’s romantic fantasies can finally become a reality,” says one insider.
“She’s wanted to get it on with him for years.”
(Ed. note: “Get it on!” Despite appearances to the contrary, these quotes are not taken from an Onion piece parodying celebrity journalism.)
Naturally, the piece goes on to point out that Rihanna recently broke up with Drake, because its operating under the assumption that all single celebrities are within minuted of having sex with one another.
Star claims that Pitt and RiRi nearly hooked up at a benefit concert in New Orleans in 2012, causing Angie to fly into a rage.
“Stay away from that woman!” pissed-Jolie reportedly exclaimed.
“Rihanna’s been a thorn in Angie’s side for years,” says a source.
“She’ll explode if she finds out Brad rebounded into Rihanna’s arms!”
So if there’s any truth to this story (there isn’t) Rihanna would get to bang Brad Pitt and have revenge on a rival at the same time?
That might earn her an embossed thank you letter from Jennifer Aniston.
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