Showing posts with label Tabloid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tabloid. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Jennifer Aniston Is PREGNANT WITH BRAD PITT"S BABY!!! (According to Ridiculous Tabloid Report)

These days, Jennifer Aniston is on the market, having recently ended her marriage to Justin Theroux.


Brad Pitt is not single, and is currently dating Neri Oxman, but will the internet let a few pesky facts interfere with news so fake it still stinks of the beluga and Smirnoff they serve for lunch at the Kremlin?



We think you know the answer to that question.


Yes, word on the social media street today is that Aniston is pregnant with Pitt’s baby.


While it’s fun to joke about every single nonsensical rumor originating in Moscow, it seems this report comes to us from Down Under.


Specifically, we can thank the Aussie tabloid Woman’s Day, which recently claimed that Brad and Jen are married, and has been pushing the “pregnant Jen” fan fiction since the days when Ross and Rachel were on a break.


This time, the report has picked up some added legitimacy thanks to OK! magazine, which made the baffling decision to run with the story.



“Jen: Yes I’m Pregnant — With Brad’s Baby!” exclaims the tabloid’s latest issue.


The piece itself uses the international language of BS to “report” on the story without ever stating a single fact.


“Sources are buzzing,” OK! claims, insisting that Aniston and Pitt are “finally on their way to becoming a family” while offering nothing in the way of evidence.


“During one of their romantic get-togethers that Jen surprised Brad with a proposal — to have a baby with her,” an “insider” contends.


“Of course he agreed.” 


Note that at no point does the source actually claim that Jen is pregnant.



The best OK! could do was find someone willing to claim that Pitt and Aniston talked about having a baby at one point.


The source went on to claim that the actors are “blissfully, if quietly, happy and planning next steps,” which doesn’t mean anything, and is not how people talk.


It might seem like we’re going particularly hard on OK! for doing what tabloids have done since time immemorial, but we’ve really reached the point where this particular rumor needs to be put to bed.


We know the tabloid media has a long history of pairing up celebs who have zero interest in one another romantically, but this magazine is particularly shameless when it comes to playing … OK! Cupid.


We’ll show ourselves out.



ReadMore…

Friday, March 30, 2018

Prince Harry: Caught Cheating on Meghan Markle! (Ridiculous Tabloid Claims)

We’re just weeks away from the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, and just as expected, the rumor mill has kicked into high gear, and the tabloid media is going all-in with some truly hilarious headlines.


At this point, it’s like they’re just throwing darts at a list of old ledes and plugging Meghan’s name in like it’s Mad Libs.



Naturally, there have been reports of nude photos of Meghan making their way around social media.


And of course, there have been claims that Meghan is already pregnant with Harry’s baby.


But no list of bonkers fake scandals would be complete without a rumor that Meghan has called off the wedding after catching Harry cheating on her with his ex.


Yes, that’s the claim being made by Star magazine in the tabloid’s latest issue.


A “source” (who almost certainly doesn’t exist outside of the author’s head) claims that Harry has been “spending a lot of time” with ex-girlfriend Cressida Bonas.



Interestingly, even Star stops short of claiming that a full-blown affair took place behind Meghan’s back.


But the magazine does maintain that the exes have remained “very close” and Cressida was invited to the wedding against Meghan’s wishes.


“Meghan would rather Cressida not be there, but the invitations are already out,” a fabricated insider tells Star.


“Harry didn’t realize it would upset Meghan, he wouldn’t want to do anything to wound the woman he loves. He promised he’ll be on his best behavior, and Meghan has accepted that… for now.”


Most of the rumors about Harry and Meghan will die down after the wedding, but you’ll probably be hearing fraudulent reports about Harry’s cheating for years to come.



The British press in particular loves a good royal infidelity claim.


There have even been reports of Prince William cheating on Kate Middleton, even though William looks like William.


Harry has long had a reputation as a ladies man, and before settling down with Meg, he was considered one of the world’s most eligible bachelors.


So the cheating rumors aren’t going away, even if Harry remains on his best behavior.


Of course, Meghan likely knew this was the sort of thing she was signing on for.



ReadMore…

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston Are MARRIED, Tabloid Claims!

We’re sure you’ve heard the rumors by now.


Ever since the world learned that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux have parted ways, social media wishful thinkers and tabloid columnsts alike have been endlessly fixated on one possible cause for the split.



Yes, some folks seem genuinely convinced that Aniston is back together with Brad Pitt.


It’s not hard to see how this rumor got started.


Even before the world learned that Jen is back on the market, various “insiders” claimed that she was planning to leave Theroux for Pitt.


So when the couple announced their split, many took it as a confirmation that those reports were accurate.


A bit of a leap perhaps, but we really can’t overstate the extent to which some people want Jen and Brad to get back together and make beautiful babies.



And the tabloid press has been more than happy to give the people what they want via an endless string of bogus reports about the two (relatively) newly-single exes finding love in each other’s arms. 


The latest news of the long-awaited reconciliation comes to us courtesy of the Australian tabloid NW.


Never heard of it? Neither have we!


But that’s not stopping Brad and Jen obsessives from eating up every word of the mag’s bonkers new report like it’s gospel.


According to the new issue of NW, not only are Pitt and Aniston back together, they’re married.



A “source” tells the tabloid that the actors “decided to make their reconciliation official by exchanging vows during a romantic and super-secret getaway to Paris.”


The tipster goes on to clam that “insiders are convinced” they “eloped in Paris.”


Of course, this totally-real insider also says things like “insiders are convinced” and “Hollywood is abuzz with bombshell rumors,” which are phrases that have literally never been used by people who aren’t gossip columnists.


The magazine’s informant goes on to claim that while news of the venue could not be confirmed, Brad and Jen were “spotted near the Ritz” during their time in France.



Naturally, at no point was the couple actually photographed strolling arm-in-arm in the City of Lights.


“They had the time of their lives in Paris,” adds the source, who clearly exists only in an NW writer’s head.


As many have pointed out, this seems unlikely for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that Brad and Jen are both still legally married to other people.


But why should facts get in the way of some entertaining celebrity fan fiction!


Our sincere congrats go out to the versions of Brad and Jen who exist in the parallel universe in which Brad and Jen have recently gotten re-married.



ReadMore…

Monday, October 16, 2017

Josh Duggar, Sisters Lose Lawsuit Against Tabloid

In the wake of the Josh Duggar sex scandals, the perpetrator’s famous family lashed out in every direction, desperately seeking a way to blame anyone other than Josh.


This meant giving interviews in which the blame was placed on the police department that released Josh’s records, and of course, on the tabloid that first broke the story that nearly destroyed the Duggars.



Back in May of 2015, In Touch magazine was the first to report that Josh had molested five young girls, four of whom were his sisters, and was assisted in covering up his crimes by his parents.


Several of the older Duggar sisters sued the magazine’s publisher, Bauer Media Group, claiming that the company violated victim protection laws by publishing police reports without redacting the Duggar name.


(The victims were not named in the published documents, but the Duggars argued that it would be easy to deduce the identities of the victims based on the information provided.)


Josh Duggar attempted to join his sisters’ lawsuit, but was rebuffed by their legal team.



Eventually, Josh filed his own lawsuit against In Touch, seeking $ 75,000 in damages and arguing that the magazine had criminally impinged upon his privacy.


On Friday, both cases were thrown out by U.S. District Judge Tim Brooks, who decreed that In Touch was well within its First Amendment rights to publish the information contained in the police reports.


“Even if one assumes that the disclosure failed to comply with Arkansas statutory redaction requirements, it is clear that the Bauer defendants cannot be held liable, for the city’s and county’s failure to follow the law,” Brooks wrote in his ruling.


The Duggar girls named several other parties in their suit, including the City of Springdale, Arkansas, Washington County, and several city officials, who they claim were responsible for the release of their information.


While Brooks dismissed most of the defendants, the Duggars’ claims against a few parties, including former Springdale Police Chief Kathy O’Kelley, were allowed to remain active.



Those cases will be decided at a later date.


Despite that sliver of remaining hope, however, this is nothing less than a devastating legal blow for the Duggars.


Their case was never about the damages being sought, but instead constituted an effort to save face by demonstrating that there were numerous guilty parties who were in some way involved in the now-infamous Josh Duggar sex scandal.


The judge’s ruling confirms what millions already knew:


No one but Josh and his parents is responsible for the atrocities that took place in the Duggar home.


Watch Counting On online for more from reality TV’s most famous family.



ReadMore…

Monday, August 21, 2017

Ariel Winter Claps Back at Tabloid Over Sexist Headline

Despite the fact that Ariel Winter is arguably most famous for posting racy selfies on Instagram, she’s become something of a divisive cultural figure in recent months.


(Yes, we’re aware that Ariel is also one of the main cast members on Modern Family, but you don’t see Ed O’Neil in the tabloid because the former Al Bundy doesn’t look good in a bikini, ya know?)



Ariel is frequently slut-shamed for her social media posts, and she often calls out sexist remarks from her followers or from media outlets.


It’s admirable, but it’s also led to a sort of feedback loop, wherein Ariel posts a pic, someone says something idiotic about it, she fires back, they both get to go viral, and the whole thing repeats itself the following week.


As a result of this scenario, many who once praised Ariel for her empowered responses have become skeptical of her motives and started openly questioning if she’s less concerned with feminist ideals than with raising her public profile.


Of course, not all of Ariel’s sassy counter-arguments have to do with her risque photos.


Winter recently celebrated her nine month anniversary with boyfriend Levi Meaden.


The relationship has been a source of controversy for a number of reasons.



For one thing, Ariel is 19, and Levi will turn 30 in a few weeks.


On top of that, they seem to be progressing very rapidly, having moved in together after just a couple months of dating.


Because Ariel is beginning to rival Kylie Jenner as the tabloid media’s favorite teen to obsess over, hot takes about the nature of her relationship are depressingly common.


The latest culprit is Star magazine, who posted the following dumbass headline over the weekend:


“Is Ariel Winter Desperate For Boyfriend Levi Meaden To Propose?” 


Ariel could’ve easily replied by invoking Betteridge’s law and pointing out that any headline that asks a question can be answered with the word “no.”


Instead, she took things a step further and had a little fun with the folks at Star:



“Yes and I’m already pregnant to seal the deal. I WILL HAVE HIM!!!!! MUAHAHAHA!” she tweeted.


A well-deserved diss, considering the Star piece begins with a foolish headline and gets more ridiculous from there:


“Ariel has already convinced Levi to get matching tattoos,” a source tells the tabloid.


“Levi was totally against the idea at first, but he can’t say no to her.”


Star goes on to claim that friends worry the relationship has become “codependent,” and Ariel is so anxious for Levi to propose that she’s taped photos of engagement rigns she likes on her refrigerator.


Having perused Ariel’s Instagram page, we know she’s not huge on subtley, but that’s heavy-handed even for her.



ReadMore…

Friday, June 30, 2017

Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski Claim Trump Offered to Kill Tabloid Story IF They Kissed the Ring

Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough are firing right back at President Trump … claiming he reached out to help them fend off an unflattering report about their relationship, but with a major string attached. The co-hosts/engaged couple claim…


ReadMore…

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Josh Duggar Pulls Out of Sisters" Lawsuit Against Tabloid, Police

Josh Duggar has withdrawn a motion to join a lawsuit filed by his sisters regarding the release of information by police two years ago.


The lawsuit pertains to now-infamous allegations that Josh sexually abused his little sisters while they were juveniles in the early 2000s.



Celebrity gossip publication In Touch broke the story in 2015, triggering a massive scandal that tarnished the reality TV family’s brand.


The Duggars have filed suit against both the aforementioned tabloid and law enforcement officials for their role in the story’s release.


Jill (Duggar) Dillard, Jessa (Duggar) Seewald, Jinger (Duggar) Vuolo and Joy-Anna Duggar are the four siblings who are suing.


Josh himself joined the lawsuit briefly earlier this month, only to withdraw the motion to do so per his attorney, Gregory Payne.


The one sentence motion – already granted by a federal judge – doesn’t say why Josh Duggar decided to drop his legal claims.


“Comes now, the intervening party, Josh Duggar, and upon further consideration hereby withdraws his motion to intervene,” the motion says.



The four daughters of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar (pictured above, with Jana Duggar, who is not involved in the suit), sued in May.


Their claim is that officials improperly released police documents to the celebrity gossip magazine, which improperly published the details.


Alleging invasion of privacy, outrage and violation of the right to due process, they are seeking both compensatory and punitive damages.


Josh Duggar initially argued he should be made a party to the suit because their case cannot adequately represent his personal interests.


Police investigated allegations of sexual abuse against him in 2006, related to incidents in 2002 and 2003. No charges were brought.


A Family in Need of Services petition was filed in Washington County Juvenile Court. The girls were juveniles at the time of the allegations.


Both lawsuits contend police assured the family that only law enforcement, juvenile court and child services personnel would see this.


Defendants include Springdale, Ark., Washington County, several individuals representing both, and Bauer Media, In Touch’s publisher.



Springdale officials released a response through their attorneys, calling the lawsuit unfortunate, misguided, without merit and false.


The statement says that Springdale actually prevailed on a previous legal action regarding release of the information in question.


The sisters counter that the officials released documents to In Touch under a Freedom of Information Act request in violation of the law.


Arkansas law prohibits the releasing such information to protect juveniles and victims of sexual abuse, the four women maintain.


Despite a judge’s order to seal the documents, the magazine ran the storty for financial gain and to embarrass the Duggars, they allege.


According to the lawsuit, officials improperly decided the offense report should be released to the public, and should be held to account.


The suit asks a judge to order In Touch to hand over profit it made by exploiting them and order them to stop publishing this information.



“Plaintiffs endured harsh and unwarranted public scrutiny,” the sisters’ lawsuit alleges, demanding punitive damages for that as well.


Reliving the memories and the scrutiny resulted in the “plaintiffs suffering severe mental anguish and distress,” according to the lawsuit. 


Josh Duggar, then 14, revealed in early 2002 to his parents he had run his hands over the young girls in the family home as they slept.


Jim Bob and Michelle admitted this in an interview aired June 3, 2015, by Fox News, not long after In Touch broke the shocking story.



The parents told the girls, disciplined their son and took precautions, but didn’t seek outside assistance, Jim Bob and Michelle said.


Josh confessing before anyone found out about the behavior and showing remorse gave them hope that he would change on his own.


Duggar then admitted in July 2002 that he took similar advantage of girls who had fallen asleep on the family couch, they said.


In March 2003 came a third admission from the first-born of their 19 kids that he had touched two girls while they were awake.


By then, a total of five girls, the four sisters and a house guest, had been fondled, the parents said, and finally they took action.


The Duggars took him to report what he had done to an Arkansas State Police employee, according to the Springdale Police report.



The corporal didn’t report the matter to the Arkansas child abuse hotline as required by state law. It’s not clear why he did not do so.


Springdale Police, for their part, say they didn’t learn of the incident until someone anonymously called the abuse hotline in 2006.


By that point, the statute of limitations had run out on any applicable criminal charges, and the matter was never made public.


The Duggars’ reality show 19 Kids and Counting drew 3.6 million viewers as recently as May 2015, when the scandal rocked the Internet.


TLC later canceled the show abruptly, though it was later revived under the name Counting On, with Josh Duggar persona non grata.


In the wake of the news breaking in 2015, Josh was also linked to the cheating website Ashley Madison and went to sex rehab.



ReadMore…

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Britney Spears Threatens to Sue Tabloid: Find Out Why!

Britney Spears returned to the MTV VMA stage on August 28, but did her appearance on the red carpet and performance go without a hitch?


There was obviously a lot of hype surrounding her big return to the stage that made a laughing stock out of her in 2007. 


Britney was not herself when she performed in 2007. It’s sad, but there’s no getting away from the fact that her confidence was pretty much non-existent during the performance of “Gimme More.”



However, her performance of “Make Me…” with G-Eazy was met with mostly positive response.


As always, Britney was criticized for miming her song, but she more than made up for it with her energetic dance routine. 


There was even an almost kiss between Britney and her performing partner that sent the internet into overdrive.


Britney made it clear in the days after the performance that G-Eazy did not try to kiss her and claimed he had a girlfriend. 



It was pretty clear that Britney Spears was back and better than she’s been for many years. 


Somehow, people still want to bring the star down. This is not sitting well with Spears who is ready to start filing some lawsuits


There’s only so much one person can take before it all becomes a bit too much, but Spears is not messing around. 


Making false reports about her is one thing, but trying to bring her down when it’s clear she’s back to her former self is just ridiculous. 



Britney’s current target is In Touch, who are allegedly about to release a completely fabricated article about the singing sensation.


The potential story claims that Spears was acting very erratic at the VMAs. 


Britney had every right to be a little nervous about her performance. Her previous performance at the VMAs did not go down well, so she knew there was a lot riding on that one. 


The article even claims that Britney was laughing speaking in a British accent. It all sounds pretty ludicrous and is if it’s been pulled from thin air. 


This has got to stop, so it’s pretty great Britney is not holding back with the tabloids this time round. 



Britney’s lawyer says the story is “utterly false, highly defamatory and completely offensive to Ms. Spears.”


With In Touch adamant they’re running the story, it remains to be seen just how all of this will play out. 


The chances of Britney’s lawyers stepping down are pretty much slim to none, so we could be in for a thrilling legal battle. 



It’s great that Britney has decided that she’s done being trashed by her haters. 


What do you think about all of this?


Is Britney right to pursue legal action against In Touch?


Hit the comments below!


Monday, June 20, 2016

Brandi Glanville: I Found Out My Husband Was Cheating From a Tabloid!

At this point, the details of the Tragedy of Eddie and Brandi are as well known in celebrity gossip circles as anything old Bill Shakespeare ever put down on paper.



But in case you’re hazy on the details, allow us to lead you on a trip down cheating memory lane:


It all started when Eddie left home to film a Lifetime movie in Canada.


His co-star was LeAnn Rimes, who was in her mid-twenties but already all but washed up at the time. (Did we mention she was filming a Lifetime movie in Canada?)


Eddie and LeAnn hooked up and wound up getting married and starring in one of the worst reality shows in history.


These days Brandi is talking things out with Dean Sheremet (LeAnn’s ex-husband, who also got cheated on), and she’s proven that she’s able to laugh about the situation.


Shockingly, Brandi has even buried the hatchet with LeAnn for the sake of her two kids with Eddie.


But some wounds never heal completely, and when Brandi sat to talk about her husband’s infidelity while filming her new reality show, it was clear that the subject remained a very sensitive one:



One of the ugliest details of the affair is the fact that Brandi found out Eddie was cheating because the news was plastered on the front of a supermarket tabloid, a moment she recalls in excruciating detail in the clip above:


“I trusted him completely and fully,” she says. “Then I went to visit him on a movie set and for the first time I felt like something was going on with the person that he was acting with.


“That morning I get a call from a bitchy mom that I’m not really friends with and she’s like, ‘Have you seen the cover of US Weekly?"”


The tabloid/”bitchy mom” combo is not the best way to get bad news. 


Fortunately, these days Brandi is banging a famous dude and an Uber driver, so we think it’s safe to say she’s enjoying the single life.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Prince Murder Headline Sinks Tabloid to New Low

We still do not know why Prince died.


There has been ample speculation, but fans of this iconic singer may need to week several weeks before the complete autopsy results are made public.



This much we know, however:


Prince was not murdered.


And any publication that writes otherwise ought to be ashamed of itself.


We’re looking at you, In Touch Weekly. 


The latest cover story of this supermarket tabloid actually uses a photo of Prince, along with the all-caps headline of IT WAS MURDER.


Is there any evidence to back up this wild allegation? Come on. What do you think?


“Homicide has not been ruled out by the Minnesota authorities,” an anonymous source supposedly tells the magazine… even though the Carver’s Country Sheriff said in a press conference last week that no foul play was involved.


So, from where does the tabloid conjure up this “murder” thing?  


From an unnamed private investigator who has no connection to the case and who says that perhaps a physician gave Prince too many pills.


“If someone overprescribed medication for Prince, in my opinion, it was murder,” this totally real individual says.



The magazine goes on to cite Michael Jackson and Dr. Conrad Murray, referring to the latter as “precedent” for a doctor providing his famous patient with too much medication.


Of course… Jackson died immediately after Murray administered a fatal dose of Propofol; Murray ultimately faced a manslaughter charge for the act.


Prince, conversely, fell unconscious in an elevator inside his Minnesota residence. He was not under a doctor’s care at the time.


It’s very possible that an accidental overdose led to the artist’s tragic demise.


But we’re pretty sure an “accidental overdose” does not qualify as murder.


We know we should be used to tabloids simply making up stories in order to sell issues. Check out the gallery below for a number of example.


But this one feels particularly crass, doesn’t it?


For purple shame, In Touch Weekly. For purple shame.


Thursday, March 31, 2016

Kylie Jenner & Khloe Kardashian: BOTH Pregnant, Tabloid Claims!

Maybe there’s something to this “Kylie Jenner is pregnant” rumor after all.


This morning, several sources claimed that that 18-year-old is knocked up with Tyga’s cub, and now Life & Style is adding fuel to the gossip fire, claiming that Kylie is indeed pregnant  – and she’s not alone.



Yes, according to the tabloid’s ridiculous new cover, Kylie and Khloe are both pregnant.


Perhaps the only Kard clan rumor that’s more popular than Kylie being pregnant is Khloe being pregnant, so you almost have to admire the shamelessness of the folks at L&S who just decided to go for it and say they’re both knocked up.


We assume next week’s cover while be all about the new Kim Kardashian sex tape co-starring Justin Bieber.


Of course, despite the fact that she’s stated she’d like to have a child in the near future, the Khloe rumor might be even more ridiculous than the Kylie one.


As far as we know, the closest thing Khloe has to a boyfriend right now is Lamar Odom, and considering the man very publicly fell off the wagon after nearly six months of sobriety this week, we doubt she’s thinking of him as baby daddy material.


Not that she needs to be in a relationship to get knocked up, but we feel confident that if Khloe were using some dude as a sperm donor, she’d tell the world about it.


Kylie Jenner: Pregnant With Tyga"s Baby, Tabloid Claims

Yes, you read that headline correctly.


Kylie Jenner is pregnant with her first child, and friends say it’s definitely a Tyga cub. Or at least that’s the fine folks at In Touch would have us believe.



“She’s gained a little weight and she says she’s been having the weirdest cravings for Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts,” a source tells the tabloid.


“All [Kylie] can talk about is baby names, whether she’ll have a boy or a girl, how she’s going to decorate the nursery and the child’s wardrobe.”


Yes, while most 18-year-olds’ thoughts would be more along the line of “OMFG! What am I gonna do?!” Kylie is apparently wondering whether Tiffany turquoise is a gender neutral-color for the nursery.


Actually, we believe that part. Or we would, if we believed Kylie was actually pregnant.


Sure, earlier this month Kylie wrote “baby daddy” on a Snapchat pic of Tyga, but we just can’t imagine her actually taking on the responsibility of raising a kid at this point in her life.


Hell, we can’t imagine her put taut abs at risk by getting pregnant.


In order to understand why Kylie would never get knocked up so young, you have to put yourself in the mindset of a Kardashian:


Kylie’s reasoning would be something along the lines of, why become a teen mom when you already have a reality show?


Monday, March 28, 2016

Angelina Jolie: Actress" Weight Has Dropped to 80 Pounds, Tabloid Claims

Rumors about Angelina Jolie suffering from an eating disorder have persisted for years, but the actress has always dismissed concerns and deflected questions about her diet.


Now, however, an alarming new report has triggered new worries about Jolie’s rapidly diminishing weight.



According to the National Enquirer Jolie is down to 79 pounds after months of starving herself. 


Insiders claim husband Brad Pitt has begged Jolie to get help, but she refuses to seek medical attention.


There are conflicting reports about why Angelina might be reluctant to see a doctor.


One source tells the tabloid that the mother of six guards her anorexic tendencies like a drug addiction and being forced to stick to healthy diet would be a nightmare for Jolie.


Another claims that she’s not suffering from an eating disorder at all and is afraid of what diagnosis she might receive.


Jolie underwent a double mastectomy and other preventative measures in order to decrease her chances of getting cancer last year, and she’s reportedly terrified that the procedures were ineffective.


Still a third “insider” claims that the weight loss is a result of stress caused by problems at home, and Jolie refuses to see a doctor for the simple reason that Pitt is insisting that she do so.


Obviously, we have no way of knowing if any of these explanations are accurate, and we hope for Angelina’s sake that they’re all bogus. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Blake Shelton to Tabloid: Don"t Call Me a Drunk!

In case you somehow weren’t aware, Blake Shelton is a bit of a drinker.


And by “a bit of a drinker,” we mean the guy could probably go shot-for-shot with Keith Richards and still show up to work the next day (though he might get a little nauseous when he spins his chair around on The Voice.)



Over the years, Shelton has welcomed his reputation as a country lush in the tradition of  – well, just about every other country singer in history.


Anyone who follows the man on Twitter knows that Blake’s drunk tweets are some of the funniest things on social media, and the man’s admitted to beating up on his liver in multiple interviews.


Even so, reports that Shelton’s drinking is out of control have upset the singer in the past, and he recently took legal action against In Touch after the tabloid ran an article claiming that he’s headed to rehab.


Unfortunately for Blake, rather than settling out of court, the magazine is standing firm, claiming that Shelton is trying to have it both ways by publicly boasting about his booze intake, then complaining when others express concern:


“Shelton ignores that he has staked his reputation on heavy drinking: he tweets more than 15 million Twitter followers almost daily with messages crowing about how much he drinks and is famous for his signature Twitter tagline, ‘Drunk,"” lawyers for In Touch write in a recently filed motion to strike.


“Shelton also ignores the years of press – which went unchallenged by any legal claims – documenting how his ex-wife, among others, were so upset by his alcohol consumption that she told him to go to rehab.


“By this action, Shelton attempts to walk back a public image he created. Yet the law does not allow for selective amnesia.”


Yes, it sounds like Blake will either have to drop the case or prepare for a serious legal battle.


Considering he’d probably like to avoid being publicly grilled about his drinking habits, our money is on the former.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Brad Pitt: Cheating on Angelina Jolie With Selena Gomez! (According to Ridiculous Tabloid)

Pretty much from the day they first joined forces and decided to start a multi-culti kid collective that will one day rule Hollywood with an iron fist, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been the subject of constant breakup rumors.


Ironically, the reports of trouble in Brangelina Land have only become more frequent since Pitt and Jolie got married in 2014.



The latest nonsense comes from Star magazine, who claims that Angelina is pissed – pissed! – about rumors that Brad has been hooking up with Selena Gomez.


“She’s insane with jealousy over the Selena rumors,” an insider tells the tabloid.


The story is complete and utter BS, but at least it’s kinda, sorta, almost rooted in reality, as Brad and Selena have been spending an unusual amount of time together lately.


By which we mean more time than you would expect a 23-year-old single woman and a 52-year-old father of 47 to spend together.


The reason, of course, is that Brad and Selena both appear in The Big Short, which is currently nominated for five Oscars, thus requiring Brad and Selena to appear at many of the same events. 


It may seem strange that Selena plays herself in a film about the 2008 housing crisis, but if you haven’t seen it, trust us, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Ms. Gomez explain collateralized debt obligations.


Nefarious Wall Street mumbo-jumbo never sounded so sexy.


Anyway, the fact that the Selena rumors come on the heels of reports about Brad and Angelina fighting while on vacation has many believing that it’ll soon be Splitsville for the Jolie-Pitts.


We can’t say for certain that they’re not having problems, but trust us – Brad would be more likely to adopt Selena than to sleep with her.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Kris Jenner Hid O.J. Simpson Murder Weapon, Tabloid Alleges

Robert Kardashian Sr. may have used Kris Jenner to hide evidence that O.J. Simpson killed Nicole Brown Simpson, a tabloid alleges.



Oh yes. Of all the rumors connecting Kris Jenner to O.J. Simpson over the years, this may be the most outrageous, by a wide margin.


(Considering the long-held belief by many celebrity gossip readers that O.J. is Khloe Kardashian’s father, that truly is saying something.)


According to the National Enquirer, Robert Kardashian, O.J.’s confidant, asked Kris to hang onto a briefcase for him after the slayings.


The father of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe (probably) and Rob Kardashian Jr. was seen with the Louis Vuitton bag not long after the murders.


It’s a pretty big leap to assume anything nefarious on behalf of the first family of reality TV, but the family was close with the Simpsons.


O.J. contemplated suicide in Kim’s room after being charged with murder, and Kris and Nicole had plans to meet the day after she died.


Prosecutors spoke of a “mountain of evidence” tying O.J. to the deaths of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman in June 1994.


Despite widespread belief that Simpson did it, which has only intensified in the two decades since, he was acquitted in criminal court.


The D.A.’s case imploded for many reasons we won’t get into here, but there’s no disputing the one piece of evidence they never discovered.


Either O.J. or the “real killer” he nebulously spoke of brutally slaughtered two people with a knife that to this day has not been uncovered.


One theory is that the bag Robert Kardashian carried out of O.J.’s house contained the knife, and that he gave it to Kris for safe keeping.


She probably never even knew what was in it, insiders reveal, and perhaps the one person who could divulge this information is dead.


Ron’s sister Kim Goldman spoke with the National Enquirer and divulged that her family was contacted regarding the missing satchel:


“We were notified by either a lawyer or someone from the Kardashian family. Robert wanted the bag to be given to me after his death.”


Kardashian, who was married to Kris Jenner from 1978-1991, before she married Bruce Jenner (now Caitlyn) died of cancer in 2003.


Kim Goldman divulged that Kardashian “instructed his heirs to turn over O.J.’s mysterious bag to Ron’s family in the event of his death.”


Yet the briefcase has never surfaced, the Goldman family has no idea what its contents were, and the mystery remains to this very day.


Simpson’s ex-manager has suggested that the bag was probably stolen, noting a series of burglaries at the Kardashian / Jenner homes.


We’ll never know with certainty what was in the bag or what happened to it, but it’s hard to imagine its disappearance being an accident.


Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Kardashians Betrayed and Pregnant: A Tabloid Tradition!


Those poor Kardashians and Jenners.


According to the following tabloid stories, they been pregnant AND betrayed on so many occasions that we almost feel badly for them.


If these stories were actually true, that is…




1. Kylie Jenner: Pregnant! Dumped by Tyga!


Kylie jenner pregnant dumped by tyga

Kylie Jenner is pregnant! And has been dumped! According to this hilarious tabloid cover, that is.



2. Kim Kardashian Dumped?!?


Kim kardashian dumped

In Touch really has to lay off Kim Kardashian. Of course she has gained weight. She’s pregnant!



3. Kourtney Kardashian: Pregnant Again?


Kourtney kardashian pregnant again

Is Kourtney Kardashian pregnant again?!? Yes, according to this tabloid at least.



4. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Story


Kim kardashian pregnant story

No way Kim Kardashian is pregnant again…. right?!? Try telling that to this tabloid cover story!



5. Khloe Kardashian Pregnancy Claim


Khloe kardashian pregnancy claim

Khloe Kardashian is not pregnant. Shockingly, Star Magazine for this one wrong.



6. Pregnant Kardashians!!!


Pregnant kardashians

All three Kardashian sister are engaged, according to this cover. Except that, you know, they are not all pregnant.


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