Jon Snow vs. Ramsay Bolton: A Bastard Bowl Tale of the Tape

As longtime Game of Thrones fans know, the penultimate episode of any season can usually be counted on to deliver in the dramatic fireworks department, and Sunday night"s installment promises to be no different.

In fact, after two weeks of what often felt like place-setting episodes, the alliances are set, the sides have been chose, and "Battle of the Bastards" is poised to hit us with what sure to be one of the show"s most epic and game-changing clashes to date.

As usual, supposed spoilers abound in all corners of the Internet, but no one really knows what will happen when Jon Snow attempts to take back Winterfell from the demented Ramsay Bolton.

So here"s a quick rundown of what we can expect based on the books, the information released by HBO thus far, and the personal histories of two very different motherless warriors.

(As always, you can watch Game of Thrones online at TV Fanatic if you need to get caught up.)

We"ll start with the chief combatants:

 

1. Jon Snow

The Bastard of Winterfell, the former Lord Commandor of the Night’s Watch, the Dashing Undead. His ex used to tell him he knew nothing, but after surviving battles like the ones we saw in “The Watchers on the Wall” and Hardhome” this revenant knows everything about waging war … especially on his home turf.

2. Ramsay Bolton

The Bastard of Bolton, the Flayer of Men, the Eater of Suggestive Sausages. Ramsay may not know Winterfell as well as Jon and Sansa (who grew up there), but he’s a proven military leader, and he certainly has the edge in the sadism department.

3. What Are the Odds?

There’s no way both bastards are getting out of this thing alive. Vegas bookmakers are giving 1/3 odds that Ramsay will bite the dust. Jon, the clear favorite, is at 9/1. After all, this season started off with Jon as a corpse. They’re not gonna kill him off again THAT quickly.

4. How Big Are the Armies?

Ramsay has over 5,000 men, while Jon (with help from Sansa and Ser Davos) managed to round up a rag-tag bunch of just 2,000. But hey, we hear those 62 from Bear Island can fight like ten men!

5. What Happens if the Starks Win?

They recapture Winterfell, unseat Ramsay as Warden of the North and probably kill him. They free Rickon Stark and set set up shop in the castle Jon and Sansa grew up in as their new base of operations. We learned last week that Arya is also headed home to Winterfell, and you can that would be one tearjerker of a family reunion.

6. What’s at Stake?

Winterfeeeeeell! The Stark family home where Robert Baratheon asked Ned Stark to be the Hand of the King, and Jaime Lannister pushed Bran from a window so many years ago. Add to that the fact that Ramsay raped and tormented Sansa during their brief marriage and the fact that the Boltons are partially responsible for the Red Wedding, and you can see what sort of emotions are involved. In a way, the show has building to the Starks’ return to Winterfell ever since, so there’s definitely more than just a castle in play here.

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Johnny Manziel: Former Girlfriend Recounts Horrific Tale of Abuse in Court Documents

According to court documents released today, a recent altercation between Cleveland Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel and his former girlfriend Colleen E. Crowley was much more horrifying than initially thought.

Last week, Manziel denied assaulting Crowley and threatening to kill himself in an incident on January 30, during which cops arrived at Manziel’s hotel room after receiving a phone call from a concerned neighbor.

Crowley chose not to press charges, but she did file for an order of protection against Manziel, which required her to describe the events of that night in a sworn affidavit. 

Earlier today, NBC 5 in Dallas posted the contents of the affidavit in their entirety.

In her testimony, Crowley tells of being beaten, restrained and threatened by Manziel over a period of several hours.

The incident began, she says, when she asked Manziel “about things [she] had heard earlier in the week about him being with a girl who had caused [them] problems in the past.”

She says Manziel flew into a rage, threw her on the bed and held her down. It was during this time, Crowley says, that she began to fear for her life.

Still restraining Crowley’s arms, Manziel led her to the lobby of the hotel, where she screamed at a valet, “Please don’t let him take me! I’m scared for my life!”

The valet allegedly replied that he didn’t know what to do, and watched as Manziel “threw” Crowley into the front seat of his car.

Crowley says she attempted to escape from the car, but Manziel caught her and dragged her back to the vehicle by her hair.

He allegedly then struck her so hard on the side of her head that she lost hearing in her left ear for several days.

Manziel announced to Crowley that he intended to drop her off at her car, which was parked at a nearby nightclub, and then kill himself.

When she tried to talk him out of this course of action, Manziel allegedly replied, “Shut up or I’ll kill us both!”

The couple ended up back at Crowley’s residence, where Manziel reportedly smashed Crowley’s phone so that she would be unable to call for help.

She was eventually able to FaceTime with her parents using a computer, and she says she clutched a kitchen knife in order to keep Manziel at bay while she waited for help to arrive.

Crowley’s request for a restraining order was granted, and Dallas police are currently investigating the incident.

Manziel was dropped by his agent last week, and it is expected that the Cleveland Browns will cut ties with the once-promising prospect next month.

Sisters Recount Horrifying Tale Of Man Breaking Into Their Home, Police Officer Shooting Him Before He Could Stab Them To Death

This is absolutely horrifying.

Two sisters are recounting to the media a violent event that happened earlier this week in the Utah home that they shared, and the story is so scary in so many ways.

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The sisters, Bre and Kayli Lasley, spoke to reporters about the horrifying attacks they endured from violent criminal Robert Berger, as well as revealing details about the police officer who saved their lives when he shot Berger in the head — and this story is like something out of a movie.

It all started late Wednesday night, when Bre was preparing to go to bed, and heard a noise at her bedroom window, which was Berger breaking in:

“He whispered and said, ‘I’m going to kill you.’ I heard a voice and he just said, ‘Hey girl, I’m coming in your room.’ He put his left arm over my mouth and started punching me in the stomach and he said, ‘you cooperate with me or I’m going downstairs to get your little sister."”

Bre struggled enough with the man that sister Kayli was alerted, and she came running upstairs to find her sister struggling with the man.

“I had run up the stairs and we were in the kitchen, kind of trying to fight him off I guess.”

Berger then kicked Kayli back down the stairs, sending her head crashing through the wall as he continued to struggle with Bre.

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At that point, rather than attack Kayli, Bre took on Berger — until he started stabbing her, according to sister Kayli:

“As I’m running up the stairs I hear her saying, ‘he’s stabbing me, he’s stabbing me."”

Berger made his plans with Bre very clear, but something would interrupt Berger’s senseless rampage:

“He was kneeling on top of me and he was kneeling on both of my arms and he pulled his knife up and he told me he was going to kill me. That’s when I saw the officer and he was our angel. I looked at the officer and his eyes and he was so professional and calm and I said, ‘officer, he’s going to kill me!"”

According to the girls, after three warnings to the man to put down the knife, the officer fired a single shot, hitting Berger in the head and stopping the attack immediately. Bre recognized the incredible timing of the officer’s arrival:

“I felt the suspect tighten as if he’s going to cut me and that’s when the officer took his life and saved mine.”

Apparently, the responding officer was already in the area because Berger had tried to break into another home just before that, and was forced away by the family in that first home, who then called 9-1-1 to alert police of the intruder in the neighborhood.

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Berger, who had a criminal history dating back to 1986, was recently arrested for aggravated robbery and attempted theft, though he had been paroled just two weeks before this incident. At the time, he was considered a fugitive from the law, and had an active warrant out for his arrest.

At least he’s now been taken care of, and the two girls are safe and recovering with family.

[Image via Fox13Now.]