Tom Arnold can’t fathom how Roseanne still has a job … but he says the least ABC can do is apologize for her insanity. We got Tom at LAX on Sunday and asked him about his ex-wife, Roseanne, whose show reboot has brought her new…
Showing posts with label Theories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Theories. Show all posts
Monday, April 9, 2018
Monday, September 25, 2017
Paris Jackson Conspiracy Theories: What Do People Believe?!
Paris Jackson is a likable young woman. To most of us, she’s a teenager with a super spiritual vibe and some wonderful progressive ideals. She manages to do some of what Miley used to get up to, but without being obnoxious about it.
But there are some bonkers conspiracy theories surrounding this girl. She’s a Jackson, and it just seems to go with the territory.
We’ll start off with the simple and almost believable.
(Relatively speaking)
Paris Jackson’s parentage.
First, some believe that Michael Jackson isn’t her biological father.
To be clear, no matter what you believe about whose sperm was involved, we should be clear that Michael Jackson was definitely her father. There’s no question about that.
(Genes don’t make family)
Some fans have wondered why Paris Jackson’s skin tone is so light given that her father (skin condition aside) was a black man.
(90 Day Fiance couple Aleksandra and Josh faced the same accusations, but the opposite, given that they both have fair skin but their baby does not)
In the case of Paris’ fair skin, though, the theory has some support from a man who claims to have provided the sperm that conceived Paris.
Actor Mark Lester claimed to The Daily Mail that he provided sperm at Michael’s request.
“I was just helping out a friend. I think he had a problem with actually doing the physical act of sex and a very low sperm count as well.”
That might sound believable, but it’s hard to wrap our heads around someone doing that and then just blabbing about it to the world.
Also, Paris has been pretty adamant that Michael Jackson was her father. She even has multiple tattoos honoring MJ.
That, we think, is what matters.
Then there are theories that Paris Jackson’s mother, Debbie Rowe, isn’t her real mother.
Debbie was married to Michael Jackson from ’96 to ’99, and is the mom to both Prince and Paris.
Some conspiracy theorists believe that Debbie was just a surrogate. The sperm for Paris and Prince could have been from various donors, depending upon what flavor of conspiracy you fancy, we guess.
We’re guessing that this theory comes less from Paris and Prince’s looks and more from the fact that Debbie cut ties with her children after her divorce, which … doesn’t strike people as super maternal.
But, having never gone through a divorce with a massively wealthy and also super famous person, we have to imagine that there’s a lot that we don’t know that went into Debbie’s decision.
That seems more plausible than Debbie deciding to act as a surrogate for unknown reasons.
Bigi Jackson (formerly known as Blanket) was born via surrogate, though he looks so much like Michael Jackson did when he was younger that people seem less eager to try to invent new and exciting parentages for him.
Okay, now we’re getting into Illuminati territory — possibly our favorite territory when it comes to bonkers conspiracy theories.
Disclaimer: the Illuminati isn’t real, but different people like to imagine a shadowy organization that controls everything, from governments to pop singers. It’s human nature to try to see patterns in chaos, even when there isn’t any.
So, first, in 2013, Paris Jackson was not living her best life, and attempted suicide.
She was put in a psych ward and, upon her release, tweeted out some cryptic things:
“It took me a while to figure who ‘they’ are in ‘they don’t care about us’ but I found out like 3 years ago. RT if you know what I mean.”
First of all, that song lyric of Michael Jackson’s … like, we don’t know if he’s ever made a statement on it, but it’s literally just referring to white supremacy’s current and historic treatment of people of color and especially of black people.
Some said that Paris’ tweet was a revelation that the Illuminati existed. That she’d been brought into the loop and betrayed the people who wanted to be her masters.
Others went even further, and said that Paris didn’t really attempt suicide but that the Illuminati tried to assassinate her but failed.
(How is an organization that uses Beyonce as their puppet going to fail to kill a teenager? What are they, Voldemort?)
After posting a bunch of Illuminati symbols on Instagram, Paris “reassured” followers that she hadn’t been indoctrinated or whatever with another tweet:
“Guys The Drawings On Instagram Don’t Mean That They Got Me, I’m Just Trying To Let (the) World Open Their Eyes And Realize What’s Going On.”
That’s right out of the Jaden Smith playbook.
Obviously, those tweets — whatever Paris believed at the time or maybe even still believes — were the thoughts of a troubled 15-year-old.
We’re so glad that she’s doing so much better, now.
And while we’re talking about the Illuminati … one of the most out-there theories involves Paris Jackson and the Illuminati in a very different light.
Because some people genuinely believe that Paris Jackson is an Illuminati clone.
(Mind you, these are the same sorts of folks who buy into NASA having a colony of child sex slaves on Mars)
Some theorists point to Paris Jackson’s own words describing her recovery following her suicide attempt.
“It was great for me. I’m a completely different person. But up to that point, I was actually crazy, I was going through a lot of, like, teen angst. And I was also dealing with my depression and my anxiety without any help.”
Because, clearly, if you murder and then clone a teen celebrity, you want to make sure that they say “I’m a completely different person” on television.
To hear Illuminati theorists tell it, there’s a super powerful clandestine organization out there that spends a significant chunk of its time planting clues to its existence in “obvious” places.
We have to question why they’d want to clone Paris Jackson.
Like, she’s great, but how would it serve these fictitious supervillains to have a tattooed teenager read tarot cards and hang out topless in the desert?
Somehow, the “celebrity clone” theories — conjured up to explain why someone looks different than they did years ago, or why someone’s public behavior has changed — are the most bonkers of all.
Weirder, even, than the detailed analysis that conspiracy theorists give to each year’s Superbowl Halftime Show.
Each performance, as it turns out, is an elaborate “Illuminati Freemason Satanic” ritual, based upon the imagination and repressed sexual fantasies of various paranoid conspiracy bloggers.
(Those bloggers are unwittingly part of a centuries-old tradition, where religious nuts writing about the practices of “witches” in Europe would describe detailed and sexually charged rituals involving the physical presence of “the devil” that was basically just thinly veiled erotica)
People, and their theories, are amazing.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
8 Best Game of Thrones Season 6 Fan Theories!
Unless you"ve been held captive by the High Sparrow and his band of sanctimonious goons for the past eight months, you know that Game of Thrones Season 6 will premiere on HBO this season.
For the first time, even book readers are mostly clueless as to what might be in store, as most of the storylines in David Benioff and D.B. Weiss" acclaimed adaptation are past the point where that George R.R. Martin has reached in his ongoing series of novels.
Obviously, the big question on everyone"s mind is whether or not Jon Snow is truly dead.
Naturally, the Internet has some interesting theories about the newest Lord Commander of the Night"s Watch – as well on just about every other character that probably survived season 5.
So check out our list of the best Game of Thrones Season 6 predictions in the gallery below.
But be careful – spoilers are coming:
1. Coldhands Rides Into Our Lives
Coldhands is a mysterious (and probably undead) character from the books who assists Bran and Hodor in their travels. Reports from the set indicate he’ll make an appearance in Season 6. A common fan theory is that Coldhands is the reanimated version of Benjen Stark – Ned’s brother and a member of the Night’s Watch who has long been missing and presumed dead. GRRM has shot this theory down – but he’s also been to mislead his audience just for fun.
2. Clegane Bowl: Clash of the Badass Brothers
The huge, terrifying brothers of the Clegane family – Gregor and Sandor – both had brushes with death way back in Season 4, but we didn’t actually SEE them expire, and since GoT loves a good death scene, that probably means they’re still alive. Sandor was left for dead by a pissed-off Arya Stark, whereas Gregor was revived by Qyburn after his fight with Oberyn and now seems to be serving as Cersei’s personal badass. The brothers have plenty of reason to dislike each other, and many fans believe they’ll do battle this season.
3. Lady Stoneheart: One Pissed-Off Mother
Book-readers have been awaiting the emergence of Lady Stoneheart since season 3, when Catelyn and Robb Stark were both cut down at the Red Wedding. For the uninitiated – Lady Stoneheart is Catelyn Stark in vengeful zombie form, and it’s hard to believe GoT producers would pass on such a cool character. The actor who plays Thoros of Myr is returning for season 6, and many believe he’ll see him bring Catelyn back to life.
4. Jon Snow’s True Parentage: FINALLY Revealed?!
Let’s get this out of the way right off the bat: Jon Snow is definitely coming back in Season 6. He’s too important for the show to go on without him. Many fans believe the book AND the show have been hinting for years that Jon in the illegitimate son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. It’s unclear how his parentage might lead to his resurrection, but many believe Jon’s royal blood will motivate Melisandre to bring him back to life.
5. Daenerys + Jon + Tyrion = Winners of the Great Game?
They may well be the three biggest fan favorites in Westeros, and in Season 6, they might finally team up. In Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire books, three “dragonrider” are foretold in a prophecy. Obviously, the Khaleesi has three dragons – and many believe Jon and Tyrion will ride the other two when she torches Westeros and takes her place on the Iron Throne.
6. The Ultimate Pie Prank
That Red Wedding was pretty brutal, eh? No surprise that all these years later some folks are still pretty angry about it (See: previous entry on Lady Stoneheart). And this is Westeros we’re talking about, so you can expect the revenge to be grisly and brutal. Many fans believe a scene from the books in which a Stark bannerman kills some Freys, turns them into human pies, and feeds them to the unwitting Freys and Boltons will be brought to life this season. We love it.
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Star Wars: The Force Awakens: 9 Crazy Fan Theories!
Unless you just emerged from the Sarlacc Pit, you probably know that we"re less than a week away from the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
You might also be aware that the franchise has been known to inspire just a smidge of obsessive devotion from fans, which means the Internet has been a breeding ground for wild speculation about the new film ever since the first trailer debuted last year.
Some of the theories are totally plausible. (It"s entirely possible, for example that Luke Skywalker has been left out of the film"s marketing campaign because J.J. Abrams and company don"t want to reveal that he"s gone to the Dark Side.)
Others are wackier than the Mos Eisley Cantina at last call on singles" night.
We"ve assembled a decent mix here, but we"ve mostly focused on the weird ones, because, c"mon…you"re so close to the big day, you don"t really want to be hit with any spoilers now, do you?
Imagine if someone told you that Vader was Luke"s father right before you saw The Empire Strikes Back!
Sorry, if we ruined that for you, but we have a strict policy here at THG: No advance spoiler warnings on movies that are old enough to run for president.
1. Finn is the Son of Lando Calrissian…and Princess Leia
No one’s quite sure how the theory that John Boyega’s character is the son of Lando Calrissian and Princess, excuse us…GENERAL Leia, but you can blame J.J. Abrams for fanning the flames on this one. Asked about Finn’s lineage in an interview with Entertainment Weekly, the director responded, “I will only say about that that it is completely intentional that their last names aren’t public record.” Hmm…could be something to this one.
2. Luke Skywalker is Kylo Ren
The latest trailers show Kylo Ren pledging to his allegiance to Darth Vader’s battered helmet. Luke isn’t seen in any of the trailers and he Is Vader’s son, so…eh, we’re not buying it.
3. Boba Fett is Back!
Die hard fans have noticed that the first trailer features a banner with a Mandalorian insignia. The franchise’s most badass bounty hunter just happens to hail from Mandalore. Of course, even if he shows up, he probably end up not doing jack squat again.
4. You Can Watch The First Two Minutes Online!
Some fans believe that a completed cut of the first two minutes of the film has leaked online. The fact that there’s a typo in the iconic text crawl leads us to believe they’re mistaken.
5. Han Solo Dies!
This one’s not actually all that ridiculous. We could easily imagine Han going out in some noble fashion. After all, we can’t imagine Harrison Ford signing on for endless sequels. It would be tragic, but less horrific than if…
6. Chewbacca Dies!
The first trailer showed a grieving Rey in the same frame as a tuft of hair. Is it Chewie?! Could be! Of course, it also be come random Wookie.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
19 Celebrity Conspiracy Theories (Could #12 Be True?!?)
Wait… who might be Khloe Kardashian"s father?
What did Pippa Middleton do at her sister"s wedding?
Could certain believed-to-be-dead celebrities actually be alive?!?
Thanks to the Internet and the creative imaginations of many people out there, the following conspiracy theories about various celebrities actually exist…
1. OJ is Khloe’s Dad!
This one has been circulating for awhile now, mostly due to The National Enquirer. We do know that Kris Jenner was friends with OJ Simpson and… that’s about it.
2. Tupac is Alive!
Oh, and so is Elvis. Heck, let’s throw Jim Morrison in there. Some folks believe that, too.
3. Pippa was Packing!
So blown away were they by Pippa Middleton’s rear end at her sister’s wedding, some critics believe she padded her behind for the occasion.
4. Beyonce was Never Pregnant!
Beyonce’s baby bump was picked apart more than the Zapruder Film. There are people out there who still think she used a surrogate for Blue Ivy.
5. Kim Kardashian Played No Role in Her Sex Tape Leak!
Okay, Kim and her mother are the ones perpetuating this conspiracy. It may the craziest one listed here!
6. James Hewitt is Prince Harry’s Father!
Hewitt swears he carried on a five-year affair with Princess Diana… and he does SORT of resemble Harry.
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