Bristol Palin Sounds Off on Starbucks Cup Controversy, Continues to Be Dumb

Bristol Palin has a blog, and she frequently uses it to say really dumb things about the big topics of the day. For once, however, we have to agree with her on something – the controversy surrounding Starbucks’ holiday cups is an incredibly stupid waste of time.

When she starts in on why she feels that way, however, Bristol really lets her dumbass flag fly:

“The mainstream media and the Left love their outrage machine where they claim the world is ending because any number of tiny people have expressed hurt feelings on social media.

“So now, they’re taking a tiny fraction of people’s response and attributing it to all conservative Christians.

“Do not buy in to the media hype surrounding this story!!  It is just another attempt by the LEFT to make Christians look stupid.”

Yes, Bristol believes the controversy is dumb, not because it has millions of people stressing over the lack of decor on a freakin’ paper cup, but because it’s part of a conspiracy perpetrated by the supervillains who run the media that’s designed to make Christians look foolish.

Like we said, Bristol says a lot of dumb things, but she’s at her best when she straps on her most stylish tin foil hat and spouts off about the various ways in which Michelle Obama helped fake the moon landing. 

Not only is Bristol digging way too deep to find answers on this one, she’s totally missing the truth of the situation that’s staring her right in the face:

Obviously, the real winners here are the folks at Dunkin Donuts and the topless mermaids who are one step closer to shutting down the insidious chain that’s been using their likeness without permission for years!

We’re through the looking glass here, people.

Brooks Ayers: OK I Did Lie About Cancer Records, But ...

Alrighty, so Brooks Ayers sits on a throne of lies.

In an attempt to convince viewers that he is battling cancer, Ayers presented E! News with medical records from City of Hope.

Unfortunately, the renowned medical center confirmed with E! that they never treated Ayers for anything cancer-related.  

With his back against the wall, Ayers ran out of excuses and ways to defend himself.  So, he admitted that he presented fake documents.

“Words cannot express the deep regret that I have in fabricating documents to ‘prove’ to the world that I, in fact, have cancer,” Ayers told E! News today (November 11th).

“What I did was wrong and inexcusable. I acted alone, without Vicki’s knowledge, to produce documents for a reality TV show in hopes of putting doubts about my cancer to rest. I never intended to disclose my actual medical records or details about my private and personal medical history, thus the rationalization of presenting documents that weren’t true simply for a ;storyline for the show.” 

Halfway through the statement I thought to myself, “So, you have cancer?”

Ayers carried on.

“From this day forward, my own personal journey with this disease will remain private as I initially intended over a year ago.  My sincerest apologies to my family, friends, loved ones, and those who are battling this horrid disease for any additional pain and/or stress that I have caused. 

“As [University of Louisville basketball coach] Rick Pitino once said, ‘Mistakes can be good. They are fertilizer. Everything I’ve learned about coaching [life], I’ve learned from making mistakes.’ I made a mistake yet I have learned a huge lesson as well.”

Ok, you may not quote a basketball coach if you have lied about cancer in any way, shape or form.  If this were a private matter, why didn’t you just NOT mention it in the first place?  

I’m going to go watch puppy videos on Youtube, because this story is too much.

Brooks Ayers Speaks Out: I Have Cancer! WTF is Wrong With You People?!

Happy 41st Birthday, Leonardo DiCaprio!

In recent months, you may have seen some photos of a bearded, beer-gutted Leonardo DiCaprio, and assumed that at 40, the former heartthrob was finally beginning to show the signs of middle-age.

Turns out, he merely adopted the look in order to more accurately portray a grizzled mountain man in The Revenant (which looks awesome, by the way), and he’s back to being trim, toned and clean-shaven in time for 41st b-day!

Naturally, we know nothing about how Leo plans to mark the occasion, as he’s taken several pages from the George Clooney Book of How to Be an A-List Playboy and Still Somehow Maintain a Modicum of Privacy, but we’re sure it’ll make your most recent birthday look like a mass funeral held inside a library.

As far as we know, Leo is still dating Kelly Rohrbach, but the relationship has been going on for several months, so we’re guessing he’ll trade-in for a newer model once his current Oscar campaign wraps up. (We’re guessing something in a blonde.)

Then again, there have been reports that DiCaprio and Rohrbach are engaged, but frankly, we wouldn’t be surprised if the seeds of those rumors were planted by Kelly’s reps.

Nothing is better for a model’s career than spending some time as DiCap’s flavor of the month – and that’ll probably be true when he’s 51, too.

Happy birthday, Leo. We’re sure you’ll enjoy it.

Scott Disick (Allegedly) Confesses to Cheating; You"ll Never Guess with Whom!

According to various reports, Scott Disick recently got out of rehab.

And according to one unexpected report, Scott Disick recently got out of Khloe Kardashian and Kylie Jenner as well. If you know what we mean!

Or what Life & Style means, we ought to write, because that’s the tabloid that has come up with this latest gem.

It alleges that Kourtney recently went to visit her ex-boyfriend and ongoing baby daddy in rehab, only for Disick to drop some major bombshells on his fellow reality star.

The irresponsible father of three supposedly admitted to “years of cheating” and numerous “drug-fueled sex parties,” going on to tell Kourtney that he also slept with two of her sisters.

Yikes!

According to an anonymous insider who totally and completely really does exist, Disick bragged to friends about “having sex with Khloe in a Hamptons hotel shower” in 2014, and then about sleeping with Jenner “during a drunken night” earlier this year.

Man. And we thought Disick sucked just for ignoring his family a lot and acting like a douchebag most of the time.

Now we really hate the guy!

Then again… it’s possible this cover story is incorrect. It’s at least conceivable.

After all, previous tabloids have claimed that Disick impregnated Kylie Jenner and also that Disick impregnated Kendall Jenner.

We haven’t seen a single baby bump on either of these young women, so we’re gonna take the latest accusation with a grain of salt the size of Kourtney’s bank account.

View Slideshow: 82 Krazy Kardashian Tabloid Kover Klaims