Reporter Loses It Over Report on "Emergency Defecation Situation"

Forget those other hilarious moments in live news, folks.

We think we have a new champion.

Say hello to New Zealand anchor Hilary Barry … who is afraid she may soon be saying goodbye to her job because she could not stop laughing during a story about an “emergency defecation situation."

The report centers on a Malaysian diplomat named Mohammed Rizalman.

He is being sentenced for indecent assault after he followed Tania Billingsly home and (among other things) took a poop on her doorstep.

“Mohammed Rizalman once had an untainted two decade-long career in the Malaysian military; today he’ll be sentenced for indecent assault. In November he admitted following then-21-year-old Tanya Billingsly home,” Barry read live on air.

“He said he’d had an ‘emergency defecation situation’ and needed to use her bathroom, but the judge in the case found he had a sexual motive.”

At that, Barry and her colleagues started to crack up.

And then kept right on cracking up.

But what made the situation so unfortunate was that she next had to report on a man being sucked out of a Somali plane after a bomb was detonated.

“I’m not laughing at this," she said during that report, while still laughing and then adding "Today could be the day I lose my job."

If so, though, what a way to go out!

Matt Baier: Amber Portwood"s Fiance is a Lying Thief, Former Friend Claims

It takes a lot for Amber Portwood to realize she’s made a bad decision, but we’re guessing even she’s starting to realize that getting engaged to Matt Baier was a big mistake.

Amber was warned against getting involved with Matt from the start, but – as is her tendency – she ignored the sound advice of her family, friends, and fans and rushed headlong into an awful situation.

As we learned on this week’s episode of Teen Mom: O.G. Matt appears to have seven kids from multiple different women, some of whom he may not have seen in years.

Now, it seems Baier is being sued by five baby mamas for back child support.

Needless to say, Baier is looking pretty shady these days, and the latest from report from Radar Online featuring a troubling story from a former friend certainly isn’t helping.

Judy Cornett is a well-known child safety activist who’s been a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show and written countless articles advocating for at-risk youth.

She met Baier in 2008, and – thinking that he was similarly passionate about the issue – invited him to stay at her home so that they could attend a protest together.

She began to regret the mistake when Baier wouldn’t stop coming on to her.

“He was very flirtatious, but I wasn’t receptive to it,” Cornett claims. 

Baier lingered in Cornett’s home in Tampa for a full two weeks, during which time Cornett made an appearance on a local television show, for which she was paid $ 1,500 in cash.

After leaving Baier alone in the house to run errands, Cornett returned home to find that the money was gone.

Cornett says Baier denied stealing the cash and broke down in tears. Shortly thereafter, he claimed he had a friend wire him the money and gave her the entire missing sum.

I made him get in a cab and leave,” Cornett says. “I never saw him again.”

She concludes her interview with Radar with a personal message for Amber:

“Please understand that this is not a personal vendetta against Matt and I am not trying to create any problems for your TV show. I’m a mother and I also care for you and your sobriety,” Cornett says.

“I am fearful that Matt has not changed. I personally feel that he is still continuing his behavior of conning, manipulating and lying his way through life. He has been searching for that pot of gold and I believe he probably thinks he has found it with you.”

Amber, you may want to listen. It could save you a lot of trouble.

View Slideshow: Teen Mom Cast: Before They Were Stars …

Sofia Vergara: My Boobs Are Everywhere! I Don"t Want to Look Like an Old Stripper!

Sofia Vergara is one funny, talented lady. Her wit and talent have earned her a multiple Emmy and Golden Globe nominations and she is a significant part of what has made Modern Family such a tremendous success.

And she’s got a great rack, too.

A sizeable one, at least. They’re kind of hard to ignore, and apparently they aren’t easy to live with, either.

“I’ve got the boobs of a stripper,” Vergara said in an interview with The Edit. “They’re a 32DDD and because they’re real, they’re everywhere, so I need my dresses to have structure — and under armor. There is so much going on under my dresses that I bleed at the end of award ceremonies.”

Hot damn! She bleeds? And I complain when the underwire of my six-year-old bra breaks through and pokes me in the ribs.

(Honestly, beauty can be a real pain in the arse.)

“In 10 years I think it would be good to have a reduction,” she added. “I don’t think it’s even going to be an option not to [have surgery], because I’m going to start having back pains.” 

“I wouldn’t make them too small — just enough that I don’t end up looking like an old stripper.”

What an amazing ad campaign for breast reduction surgery: “Don’t look like an old stripper! Downsize with Dr. Encino!”

Sofia could get some advice from her young co-star Ariel Winter, who just underwent breast reduction surgery last year. She said her oversized chest caused back pain and made her feel unhappy and self-conscious.

Sounds like our Columbian comedic actress isn’t quite there yet, so for now we hope she has plenty of Band-Aids on hand.

View Slideshow: Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello Wedding Photos

Kanye West Gets Called Out For Fake Rolling Stone Cover, Loses His Sh-t on Twitter!

You’d think after the events of last week, Kanye West would keep his distance from social media for a while. But Kanye wouldn’t be Kanye if he learned from his own mistakes.

In case you somehow haven’t heard, Kanye went off on Wiz Khalifa and got positively roasted on Twitter in response. In fact, the world now knows that Kanye likes fingers in his butt. Long story. Anyway, today the man gave his haters even more ammo with this gem:

So? Does Kanye like mustard? Sadly, we may never find out, because that’s not actually the cover for an upcoming issue of Rolling Stone.

Yeezy posted the image with a caption reading, “ROLLING STONE SHOT BY TYLER THE CREATOR.”

When Rolling Stone tweeted that that is in fact “not an actual cover,” Kanye replied, “I bet you this still becomes the cover though,” apparently unaware that the folks at Rolling Stone are the ones who decide what goes on the cover of Rolling Stone.

Billboard magazine ran a story about the fake cover kerfuffle and Kanye went on another one of his signature rants, tweeting, amongst other things:

“Aye Billboard you could use the term ‘unauthorized’ but never refer to anything that me and Tyler do as fake out of respect to musicians…”

Something tells us other musicians couldn’t care less if Kanye’s fake photo gets called out as fake, but what do we know?

Anyway, it’s another social media mess for Kanye, but at least it gave us the hashtag “#TrollingStone.”

It’s no “#FingersInTheBootyAssBitch,” but it’s still pretty good.

View Slideshow: 16 Pearls of Kanye West Wisdom