Thursday, January 19, 2017

Azealia Banks to Donald Trump: PLEASE Let Me Perform at Your Inauguration!

Azealia Banks has never really delivered on her early promise as a hitmaker (In fact, she has has yet to attain “one hit wonder” status.) 


Even so, she’s managed to remain relevant by starting fights with vastly more famous celebrities and genuinely behaving like a  person who’s been given a platform despite having flushed her meds several weeks ago.



Amazingly, despite the fact that she’s been screaming for attention in new and increasingly batsh-t ways for several years now, Azealia still has the power to surprise us.


Take, for example, the video she posted last month, in which she revealed that she’s a witch who sacrifices chickens in the closer of her New York City apartment.


We don’t think anyone was that coming.


And then there are Ms. Banks’ political views.



During the election the rapper’s followers were shocked to learn that Azealia is a Trump supporter.


It’s surprising in the sense that she’s expressed liberal views in the past, but so much when you consider the fact that Azealia is an angry racist.


Then it makes perfect sense.


Anyway, Banks is pissed – pissed! – that Trump’s inauguration is being headlines by 3 Doors Down and some woman who came in second on America’s Got Talent, and she would like to personally make the entire country say “Who?” by taking the stage herself:



“Saw the entertainment line for the inauguration it made me very upset. This is an EPIC moment in modern history and it should def be celebrated in style"” Banks wrote on Facebook yesterday.


“I would love to perform at the inauguration.”


Most of Azealia’s fans reacted with confusion (the guy who commented, “The devil is in this post” seemed to just about sum up the consensus), but Banks has at least one fellow Z-list Trumpeter in her corner.


Noted professional troll Milo Yiannopoulis commented that Banks is his “first, second and only choice” to perform at the inauguration.



Azealia, demonstrating the political acumen that’s made her sought-after voice of reason in troubled times, replied:


“Me and you in the front row looking MAAAAD cute omg we would break the internet.”


And people thought Trump wouldn’t bring our country together.


Already, he’s uniting bigots with nothing in common but their hatred and insecurity!



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