As much as Betty and Veronica, Ginger and Mary Ann, or Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston represent (at least on a superficial level) two very different archetypes of feminity.
They’re both accomplished, intelligent, beautiful women, but from the outsider’s perspective, they seem to bring very different vibes to the relationship table:
As she’s been portrayed by the tabloid press, Angleina is the love child of Oprah and the sunglasses that Bono wore when he met the Pope.
She’s an insanely erudite and well-traveled citizen of the world.
She hobnobs with heads of state and speaks languages that haven’t been invented yet.
By contrast, Aniston, perhaps unfairly, has been characterized as an equally bright, but far more “down-to-earth” alternative.
She happily raunches it up with the guys in low-brow bro-comedies and feels no shame about having gotten her start on a sitcom where she co-starred with monkey.
She’s probably even drank domestic beer while watching football.
Think Amazing Amy’s “cool girl” rant from Gone Girl.
Obviously, both of these descriptions are unfair and serve to minimize both women and their achievements, but they form the framework of the narrative that is Brad Pitt’s love life, as it’s been told by the tabloid press.
Pitt left Aniston in favor of the more exotic, more challenging Jolie.
Now that Angelina has filed for divorce, gossip columnists naturally have him running back to the simpler life he left behind.
In fairness, it’s a hypothesis that’s not entirely unsupported, as several media outlets have reported that Pitt and Aniston are back in contact and texting on a regular basis.
Tellingly, neither party has denied the rumor.
Journalist and self-appointed Brangelina expert Ian Halperin spoke about the situation in a recent interview with Star magazine, revealing that he thinks there’s good reason to believe that Jolie’s greatest fear is a Brad and Jen reconciliation:
“I truly believe that Angie always harbored the fear that Brad and Jen were secretly in contact and might reconnect,” Ian tells the tabloid.
An anonymous source recently made a similar claim to Hollywood Life.
“Angie is quite jealous and insecure,” says the tipster.
“She really wanted Brad to distance himself from Jen completely after he left her. No matter how much Brad assured her, Angie, deep down, always feared he would go back to Jen.”
Getting back together would be a good way for both Brad and Jen to direct a colossal middle finger toward Angie, and they would both have reason to want to do so,
Of course, there’s the small matter of the fact that Jen is married to Justin Theroux, but we’re sure that can be sorted out.
After all, you only get one chance to screw over your rival like this, and if Justin really loves Jen, wouldn’t he’d let her do it?
No, but it’s still fun to think about.
