Though it’s easy to forget among the numerous scandals and allegations of treason surrounding the Trump administration, Donald Trump’s Presidency has also been filled with suggestions that he and his wife clearly aren’t getting along.
Well, it looks like the internet has decided that he has a girlfriend, and they even think that they’ve figured out who.
So, when you can’t keep track of who some star is dating or you totally know but you just can’t remember the name, you just pick up your phone or bring up Google and say: “Charlie Sheen girlfriend.”
And that’s the way to do it, by the way. Please don’t make search engine algorithms try to make sense of “Who is that actor Charlie Sheen dating again? I forget” It is 2017 and people shouldn’t be typing sentences into Google unless they’re looking to match song lyrics or root out plagiarism.
(His girlfriend is Julia Stambler by the way, but that’s neither here no there)
Well, Hope Hicks is Donald Trump’s 28-year-old White House Director of Strategic Communications, and as reported by Inquisitr, people Googling information about her seem to regard her as Donald Trump’s girlfriend.
Not everyone, but enough that Google’s infamous suggested searches — the autofill function — seems eager to suggest it.
A lot of people don’t know much about Hope.
Our first reaction to Hope Hicks’ name was to wonder what it’s like to have a name like “Hope” and work in an administration that embodies despair.
But on second thought, we realized that her name makes sense for the Trump White House, given Trump’s base demographics.
This is right up there with an NSA whistleblower named “Reality Winner.”
Like, if someone were just sitting down and writing all of this for a TV show, they’d probably need to go back and make the names more realistic.
But, though Google Trends says that there wasn’t really an uptick in searches for Hope Hicks until a couple of months ago, she’s been with the administration since the beginning.
In fact, she was at the notably undercrowded inauguration, seen alongside Kellyanne Conway — both dressed as very different flavors of supervillains.
If Kellyanne dressed as a supervillain who sends ransom notes in a jack-in-the-box, Hope dressed as a supervillain who turns her enemies to stone.
The thing is that we can’t find any real indications that Hope Hicks is anything more than Trump’s employee.
But we think that one factor in making people suggest this is that her looks are … above average.
Well above average — she was a model for Ralph Lauren.
She does do her makeup like she’s 40, but that’s not at all uncommon for affluent conservative women. Sometimes even when they’re still teenagers.
And that’s totally her right; she can wear makeup however she likes. But she still looks like somebody’s 28-year-old stepmom.
Trump is notoriously picky, but when viewed alongside racist elf Jeff Sessions and Steve Bannon, who looks like every male NPC in The Witcher, it’s easy to see how she might look appealing to someone like Trump.
Add in the apparent marital tension going on in the Trump family, hundreds of millions of people keeping up with news of the administration, and time … and you’re going to see some people speculate.
By reputation, Trump is as womanizing as he is orange.
We don’t just mean the infamous “grab ‘em by the p—y” tape or the fact that he’s had three wives … but those are major factors.
Some Twitter users have noted that Hope Hicks’ office is fairly close to his, and suggested that an improper relationship would explain that.
Even if it turned out that Hope Hicks is genuinely Trump’s girlfriend, or mistress, or whatever, we’re not going to kid ourselves and imagine that the base that elected him will turn on him for it.
Even though they are almost all the same people who acted scandalized by the Monica Lewinsky scandal back in the ’90s.
This administration has a massive political advantage, in that the core of Trump’s voters don’t seem to mind anything that he says or does, and it’s hard to think of that changing easily or soon.
As far as we know, no one actually has any evidence that Hope and Trump are seeing each other.
Ugh, and we do not want to think about what form that “evidence” would take.
If that really is what’s going on … we guess we hope she’s into watersports, huh?
Sorry; we made it worse.
