Khloe Kardashian: I Can"t Get Enough of Tristan Thompson"s Dong!!

On Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Khloe has been feuding with Kourtney and complaining about her mom “art-shaming” her. But that was all filmed months ago.

In real life, she has been on vacation with her infamous baby daddy and boyfriend, Tristan Thompson.

And apparently, getting away from it all was exaclty what they needed — because Khloe is having the best sex of her life!

HollywoodLife reports that Khloe and Tristan’s sex life is out of this world now that the two are on vacation.

This is a serious improvement over how things were for the couple just a few months ago.

“Khloe and Tristan are finally back on track,” an insider reveals. “And having the best sex of their relationship while on their vacation.”

They’ve been spotted displaying some pretty serious PDA, but it’s good to know that things are going well behind closed doors.

(Even if you don’t think that they should be together, you want Khloe to at least enjoy herself while it lasts, right?)

But given that Tristan’s cheating scandal went public just a day and a half before Khloe gave birth to True, they didn’t immediately reconnect like this as soon as Khloe recovered from childbirth.

“It has been a long road to get back to a place of love for them,” the source admits.

Khloe and Tristan entered couple’s therapy in order to save their relationship.

But they made it, the insider says, “which required a lot of patience, tolerance, acceptance, and forgiveness by Khloe.”

Khloe had a lot to do. Tristan, it seems, just had to apologize and also keep his penis in check. His job sounds a lot easier.

This was a very difficult thing for Khloe.

“But,” the source notes. “She has a lot of love for the father of her children.”

It’s just the one child so far, so let’s not overstate things.

The two are united by True, the insider says, adding: “and the chemistry they have together is undeniable.”

We’ll take their word for it.

“Khloe can’t keep her hands off him,” the source gushes.

The insider adds: “She loves simply kissing him.”

Yeah, we sure hope so. If not, we’d ask why they’re still together. (We might ask that anyway, honestly, all things considered)

“And,” the source reveals. “She tells her sisters that he is the best lover she has ever had,”

Significantly, Khloe is reportedly telling her loved ones that Tristan is “even better than Lamar.”

Between the late stages of the pregnancy, healing after giving birth, and also being furious about cheating, it sounds like Khloe and Tristan are making up for lost time.

“This vacation,” the insider teases. “They have spent hours in the bedroom together.”

Yeah, it’s called sleeping.

(We’re kidding! We’re happy to believe that they’re knocking each other’s socks off, so to speak, though we hope that nobody’s having sex while wearing literal socks)

“It is the first long period of intimacy they have enjoyed together since having baby True,” the source reveals.

If you’re feeling cynical or at least a little catty, you might say that Tristan Thompson is only such a superstar in the sack because he has a lot of practice.

This is a guy who was “practicing” with multiple women even while Khloe was very pregnant with is daughter.

Honestly, he’d better be an expert at sex. Not that it makes up for anything.

Hey, if Khloe wants to prioritize mind-blowing sex over other relationship needs … well, most of us have been there and have no room to judge.

View Slideshow: Khloe Kardashian: Why She SHOULD Leave Tristan Thompson, But Never Will

ReadMore…

Ariana Grande: Impressed By, Not Yet Impregnated By Pete Davidson Dong

It turns out that Ariana isn’t the only person in her relationship who is, well, Grande.

Ariana Grande responded to an awkwardly phrased fan question by claiming that fiance Pete Davidson’s penis is very large. She got specific.

But she insists that, despite shotgun wedding rumors, her appreciation of what Pete is packing hasn’t gotten her pregnant … yet.

Pete Davidson already has two Ariana tattoos, but that decorative ink might not be the part of him that’s nearest and dearest to Ariana’s heart.

An Arianator on Twitter asked the singer, who has been engaging with fans left and right on social media because she’s a delight, a question:

“How long is Pete?” the fan asked, before quickly clarifying: “Oh, as in the interlude!”

That’s a fair question that’s normal to ask about musical guests. We have no idea if this person’s tweet was intended to begin that way or really was just awkwardly phrased.

Ariana, however, decided to just … blurt out her answer.

Take a look:

“Like 10 inches?” Ariana replied.

Global averages for penis length tend to hover between 5.5 inches and 6 inches, which would make Pete Davidson very impressive.

Ariana then, within the same tweet so that you know that her reply was deliberate, answered the fan’s real question.

“Oh f–k … I mean like a little over a minute,” Ariana answered, referring to the length of Pete’s interlude.

Do you care to guess which part of Ariana’s reply garnered more attention?

One fan responded by tweeting a still of meme queen Tiffany “New York” Pollard.

In this particular image, the reality star is saying: “I know his dick is big. I know it. I know it’s big! Oh god my heart hurts.”

Arianators are clearly enjoying imagining that Ariana’s statement is true. In fact, many saw it as confirmation of what they already suspected about the 6-foot-3 Saturday Night Live star.

If Pete’s megameat is really 10 inches in length, then that would put it at a whopping one sixth of 5-foot-0 Ariana’s total height.

On that note, another posted a photo of Ariana out and about with Pete.

This fan wrote: “This is how you look at someone that’s taking a battering ram to your cervix.”

The internet is good, actually.

Rumors have been bandied about since news of Ariana’s engagement first broke.

Because it happened so quickly, some fans could not help but wonder if Ariana was pregnant.

One fan parodied this notion, editing Ariana’s album art to show disdain with an eyeroll.

For caption, this fan wrote, using the Spongebob Squarepants mockery meme style of alternating capitalization: “aRiAnNA Is PreGnNanT.”

Ariana responded to this post and a number of follow-up comments.

First, she warned fans that these rumors would be recurring, writing: “oh this s–ts gonna be every other week now enjoy!”

Ariana also tweeted: “mood for the next few years til i’m actually ready #fertilequeen.”

A fan wrote that Ariana and Pete would make the cutest babies.

“Oh absolutely but ……… innnnnnnaaaaawhile,” Ariana replied, followed by a see-no-evil monkey emoji.

That is smart. She’s a smart young woman.

Ariana is such a delightful spirit and she has an amazing sense of humor.

So … there’s no way of knowing whether she’s being serious about how well endowed her fiance might be.

If he really is sporting a 10-incher, that might help explain their warp-speed engagement.

But Ariana is such a savvy Slytherin (just look at her uniform above), and it’s entirely possible that she said this to steer the conversation away from her vacant uterus and towards her fiance’s crotch.

There’s nothing wrong with that. She filled her fans with delight.

Not unlike how Pete presumably fills … you know what? Never mind.

The general Twitter consensus seems towards Ariana seems to be one of celebration with an undercurrent of pics or it didn’t happen.

View Slideshow: 21 Stars with Especially Big Penises

ReadMore…

U.S. Navy Apologizes for Pilot Drawing Dong in the Sky!!!

Look, up in the sky! That’s definitely not a bird or a plane … it’s a giant freakin’ penis. That’s right, the U.S. Navy is taking time out of, y’know … defending the nation, to issue an apology for one seriously cocky pilot. The giant dong…

ReadMore…

Scott Disick: Internet Flips Over Size of the Lord"s Dong

What do Scott Disick and Don Draper have in common?

Several things, actually:

They’re both blackout drunks; they both have trouble keeping it in their pants; and the equipment that they struggle to keep sheathed is the subject of endless fascination on the Internet.

Yes, the year is young, but it looks like we already have a winner for the 2017 Jon Hamm Giant Penis Award.

The Lord himself, Scott Disick, stepped out wearing a pair of flattering sweatpants recently, and the world was immediately reminded that you can’t spell “Disick” with D-I-C-K.

You can check out Scott’s package for yourself, or you can enjoy several hundred words of in-depth analysis below.

Seems like an obvious choice, if you ask us:

Like the Bieber Wang before it, the Disick Dong proves that a genetic link between douchiness and 

So if you’re a young woman who’s considering kicking your habit of dating self-obsessed jack-holes and finding yourself one of those mythical “nice guys” – don’t do it!

Is the increase in your peace of mind worth the the absence of an extra-large helping of manmeat in your life?

We think not.

Sure, there’s been talk of Orlando Bloom having a bigger penis than Justin, but that might be the exception that proves the rule.

Citing that example is like saying, “Where’s your climate change now, Obummer?” on a cold day in January.

We have no choice but to defer to the scientific community on such important and complex matters, and right now, all we know is that 100% of the two biggest jerk-asses in Hollywood are packing between the legs.

Now, you might be saying to yourself, “Oh, what about Jon Hamm? I heard he’s a nice guy.”

To which we reply, “You’re wrong, and Hamm is reportedly kind of a DB.”

We rest our case.

Anyway, let’s get to the really important matter here, which is what all this tells us about Kourtney Kardashian’s vagina:

In short: it’s clearly magic.

The latest reports have Kourtney hooking up with Bieber again, just weeks after her latest reconciliation with Disick crashed and burned.

View Slideshow: The Good, The Bad, The Lord: 23 Times Scott Disick Owned Reality TV

When two of the industry’s most sizable douche dongs just can’t stay away from your hoo-hah, you’re clearly working with something special down here.

We’ll have further updates on these supernatural celebrity genitals as more information becomes available.

ReadMore…

Orlando Bloom: Naked! Aiming Dong at Katy Perry!

Last week, rumors of a Katy Perry-Orlando Bloom romance were confirmed after the singer acknowledged that Bloom helped write her speech at the Democratic National Convention.

So now we know for certain that Perry and Bloom are an item.

But here’s another way we now know that Perry and Bloom are dating:

A photo has surfaced of the actor sticking his penis pretty much in Perry’s face.

Indeed, British tabloid The Daily Star has run an eye-catching cover picture of Bloom and Perry on a paddle board.

In the image, which has gone viral for understandable (read: NAKED) reasons, Perry is sitting and chilling, wearing a yellow and black bikini.

Bloom is behind his girlfriend, on his knees and in control of the water vehicle, oar in hand.

He’s also donning nothing but his birthday suit.

“Brit star’s naked beach rump with Katy Perry,” reads the newspaper’s headline, adding via parenthetical:

(Whose latest single – out today – is called Rise!)

That’s an erection joke, people.

Bloom and Perry made their relationship Instagram official back in May, but nothing screams “WE’RE DATING” like a paddle board romp in which one half of the couple is going full-on commando.

Is that why Bloom didn’t wear any clothing for this adventure?

To confirm his feelings for Perry in the most scantily-clad way possible?

We have no idea. And Twitter users who have seen the photo are equally flummoxed.

“Why is Orlando Bloom going paddleboarding naked? Like why?” one has asked.

Another, meanwhile, doesn’t care about Bloom’s motivations. Only about the impressive unit that he’s packing.

“Orlando Bloom could make world peace happen with this machine,” this person wrote, while another agreed, chiming in with:

“I’ll say it. Orlando Bloom has a massive penis.”

View Slideshow: 18 Stars with Especially Big Penises

Here’s another theory:

In July of 2014, Bloom and Justin Bieber got into a reported fight after Bieber allegedly slept with Bloom’s ex, Miranda Kerr.

As you can see in the photo gallery above, Bieber is another celebrity who has been photographed naked and whose penis has blown away many on the Internet due to its girth.

Might Bloom be trying to show up his former rival with this nude excursion?

Might he be trying to say that anything Bieber can do, he can do better? Err… bigger?

We don’t know.

We do know, however, that many women out there are outraged over censorship in this case.

We’ll let the following critic speak for them all:

Jessica Simpson: Eric Johnson Has a Giant Dong!

Yesterday, naked photos of Justin Bieber cleared up rumors that the singer had been manipulating photos in order to make his junk look bigger.

Now, Jessica Simpson apparently wants the world to know that the Biebs has nothing on her aptly-named husband, Eric Johnson, who she claims is rocking an elephant trunk between his legs.

“She is always a satisfied woman!” a source close to Jessica tells Radar Online. 

“Jessica and Eric have an incredibly hot sex life and, according to her, it just keeps getting better. She tells us that their ‘through the roof’ sex alone will keep them together. She loves to brag about him.”

The insider adds that when Jessica is drunk (which we’re guessing is often), she’ll show her friends nude photos of Eric in order to confirm that her man is packin’. 

“Jessica is very proud of her accomplishments in the fashion world,” says the source. “But she is equally as proud of her, as she says, husband’s HUGE heart.”

And you thought Jessica’s “Fifty Shades of Johnson” photos were racy! Apparently, the girl is out there showing her husband’s massive dong to anyone willing to look.

That’s like Instagramming pictures of your dinner, Jessica. There are some things you can just enjoy without showing the whole world.