Showing posts with label Guide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guide. Show all posts

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Teen Mom Stars: A Comprehensive Guide to ALL Their Kids


The girls from Teen Mom & Teen Mom 2 became famous because of their babies, welcomed into the world at a very young age.


You could say they were 16 and Pregnant. All of them.


For better or worse, they persevered and went on and (in many cases) had additional ones! At parenting, some have fared well.


Others, fared … not quite as overwhelmingly well.


Perhaps it"s fitting that Jenelle Evans welcomed her third child one day before Chelsea Houska had her second, as these girls run the gamut!


Meanwhile, Kailyn Lowry just welcomed her third as well, while Teen Mom 2 newcomer Briana DeJesus is now a mom for the second time.


We"re not here to be critical (that"s what Instagram is for). We"re just here to break down the nine stars and their unconventional families.


Unconventional, but beautiful and loving. <3




1. Sophia (Farrah Abraham and Derek Underwood)


Farrah abraham and sophia in makeup

Oh, Soph. Unlike many of her Teen Mom tot counterparts, Sophia lives the life of luxury, thanks to her mother, non-porn star Farrah Abraham. Seriously, the younger Abraham has her own clothing line, dabbles in child modeling, hires and fires people for her mom (you can’t make that up), and receives $ 900 when the tooth fairy pays a visit. (Sophia’s father, Derek, died in a car accident while Farrah was still pregnant; Derek’s grave is the site of many memorable TM scenes, which some believe to be shamelessly orchestrated by Farrah). Sophia is going to be a handful when she grows up at this rate … the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree as they say.



2. Leah (Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley)


Amber and leah shirley

Amber Portwood is a rarity in the world of Teen Mom, as the OG has not birthed another child after daughter Leah. Probably for the best, given her devastating drug problems; Amber served a year and a half in prison. Leah’s dad, Gary Shirley, has been there for her the entire time, and she seems to be well-adjusted as both Gary and Amber move on with their lives and new relationships – even if hers (with Matt Baier) has involved plenty of tension.



3. Carly (Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra)


Catelynn and tyler teen mom

When step-siblings turned lovers Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra made the decision to give their baby Carly up for adoption, it marked one of the most touching, bittersweet moments in reality TV history. What made it all the more incredible was that they stayed involved in her life – albeit with some bumps in the road – ever since, then got married and had another baby together years later. Which they kept.



4. Nova (Catelynn and Tyler)


Tyler baltierra catelynn lowell novalee hike pic

Tyler and Catelynn kept and are raising Novalee Reign Baltierra together, not that it’s been easy. Catelynn’s severe self-esteem issues and post-partum depression have been a major storyline for the couple in recent seasons ofTeen Mom: OG.



5. Bentley (Maci Bookout and Ryan Edwards)


Maci bookout and bentley edwards

Bentley, Maci Bookout and Ryan Edwards’ first and only child, is much bigger than this these days, and the level of happiness in their lives has also grown expontentially. After a relationship with Edwards that was among the franchise’s most disastrous, Maci met and married Taylor McKinney, who fathered two additional kids with Maci and has been an incredible stepdad to Bentley. Even Ryan has moved on and gotten engaged … miracles do happen in this world.



6. Jayde (Maci and Taylor McKinney)


Maci bookout jayde and taylor mckinney photo

Maci and Taylor McKinney’s first child together was a daughter, Jayde.


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Friday, April 20, 2018

Kardashian Family Side Pieces: A Comprehensive Guide to the Cheaters!


Let"s be real about this: if your last name is Kardashian, odds are that you are or have been unlucky in love.


Call it a curse — or, sorry, kurse — or destiny or karma, but if you think about it, cheating has plagued so very, very many relationships these people have had.


Lamar and his brothel, Tristan and his wandering penis, Tyga"s insistence on getting with girls who look like Kylie.


It"s weird. It"s all very weird.


But, just for fun (and for science!), let"s review all the best scandals, all right?




1. O.J. Simpson


Oj simpson pre freedom

Yep, O.J. Simpson, the original Kardashian side piece — allegedly, anyway. As the legend goes, back in the day Kris Jenner and Robert Kardashian were close with O.J. and Nicole Simpson. The rumors never really go into detail about the origin of this possible affair, but people sure do love to speculate that O.J. is Khloe’s real father!



2. Alex Roldan


Alex roldan and khloe kardashian

There’s also this guy that used to be Kris’ hairdresser, a lot of people think he could be Khloe’s biological father, too. Anybody but Robert Kardashian, huh, you naysayers?



3. Come On, Kris


Kris jenner with makeup

Kris and Robert Kardashian were divorced after she had an affair with a man named Todd Waterman, and near the end of her marriage to Caitlyn Jenner, she was hanging around with him again. Is she simply too much woman for one partner?!



4. Michael Girgenti


Michael girgenti

Kourtney Kardashian has always been pretty faithful in her relationships, but a male model named Michael Girgenti would like us to think otherwise. A few years ago he came out of the woodwork to claim that he’s the biological father of Kourtney’s oldest son, Mason. Spoiler: he is not.



5. Jackie Cruz


Jackie cruz

There was one time though that Kourtney did nearly step out on Scott Disick. They weren’t exactly together at the time — this was when they were on-again, off-again — but Kourtney met a lady named Jackie Cruz at an art class in Miami and they made out at a club. Jackie went on to appear on Orange is the New Black, and it’s safe to say she didn’t destroy Kourtney and Scott’s relationship.



6. Chloe Bartoli


Chloe bartoli kissing the camera

Nope, Scott destroyed their relationship pretty much completely when he was photographed getting fresh with Chloe Bartoli on the beach back in 2015.


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Friday, December 8, 2017

Teen Mom: The Definitive, Tragically Trashy Tattoo Guide!


If you"re a fan of Teen Mom, then you know that many of the people on the show have tattoos.


You also know that a lot of the tattoos … well, they aren"t that great.


Some are poorly done, some are just kind of strange, and some are nightmarish and horrifying and just so completely, unbelievably bad.


So steady yourself, perhaps grab some smelling salts and some pearls to clutch, and let"s check out all the Teen Mom ink we can get our eyes on!




1. Amber’s Tattoo of Leah


Ambers tattoo of leah

Here, let’s just start with the worst of the worst, all right? This is Amber Portwood’s portrait of her daughter, Leah. It’s right on her stomach, it also features a gigantic rose, and it’s not finished. Will she ever get it finished? It’s hard to say. We will ever be able to get this haunting image out of our heads? Unlikely.



2. Choices


Choices

Since we’re already talking about Amber’s tattoos, she also got this matching tattoo with Matt Baier, back when they first started dating. It reads “vero amore,” which is supposed to be Italian for “true love.” So that’s embarrassing.



3. Speaking of Embarrassing …


Speaking of embarrassing

Matt also has this huge tattoo of Amber’s name right on his forearm. Just right there on his arm where he has to look at it all day, every day.



4. Ugh


Matt baier book cover

Matt actually has several tattoos, many of which you can see on his nude book cover. We won’t waste more time on him here, so if you feel the need to look more closely at his naked greasy bod here, then you have our blessing. However, we will say that on his other arm, he has a couple of Chinese characters that he says mean “clean and sober,” but that Teen Mom detectives have actually determined mean “Lisa.”



5. Why Though?


Why though

As hard as it may be to believe, Matt isn’t the only guy to get Amber Portwood’s name tattooed on his body — Gary Shirley made the exact same mistake. Thankfully he was smart enough (???) to get the tattoo on his shoulder instead of on his forearm though, and he’s since covered up.



6. It’s Gary Time


Its gary time

Gary also has a … what is that, a sun? A blob with tentacles? Whatever it is, he’s also got some tattoo right in the middle of his chest, peeking out through all his body hair.


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Thursday, July 13, 2017

Teen Vogue SLAMMED by Women"s Rights Org for Publishing Anal Sex Guide?!

Teen Vogue has been coming out with a lot of really great material lately, acting as a top-notch resource for its teenage readers. And, quite frankly, their sharp political posts over the past year have been enjoyable for all ages.


They post about all sorts of things, including celebrities and fashion. But they also post about health, relationships, sex, and life — and their recent anal sex guide is earning the magazine a lot of praise … and a lot of controversy.


Some critics are claiming that “women’s rights organizations” are slamming the guide … but a closer look reveals that things aren’t quite what they seem.



This article, a simple beginner’s guide to anal sex, seeks to help their readers — teens.


(But frankly, some adults could use this, too)


The author had noticed that most internet resources on anal sex were for sexually experienced couples looking to improve what they were already doing.


That doesn’t help a young couple so much.


Pornography, which is of course not realistic, makes for an even worse guide.


All in all, in a world where so many “sex ed” programs are still forbidden to so much as mention condoms, let alone discuss how sex acts might actually be safely carried out.


So the Teen Vogue anal sex guide, by Gigi Engel, covers a lot of important topics.


The key points of the article are:


-start slow


-lube is extremely important (we’ve seen anal without lube referred to as like going down a dry waterslide)


-tips for avoiding fecal matter (though some traces may still be present)


-ways that the act can be enjoyable for both partners


But there were complaints.


Of course there were.


Brace yourselves — we’ve got a lot of stupid to break down for you.



One of the first complaints comes from transphobes.


Okay, maybe we’re being unfair.


Maybe a few people are genuinely confused by inclusive language.


So, the article refers to “prostate-owners” and “vagina-owners.”


Why?


Well, a trans guy without a prostate is still a guy.


A trans woman with a prostate is still a woman.


Not to mention the countless people who don’t fit into the gender binary.


It’s just a way of using inclusive language and not being rude.


(After all, that “dreaded” PC culture that certain pundits like to complain about is literally just … not being rude)


Kind of like saying “with your dominant hand” in, like, knitting instructions or whatever instead of “your right hand.”


Because not everybody’s right-handed.


Speaking of how this article is LGBT-related, though.


This guide is of course extra relevant to many (though certainly not all) gay and bi couples.


But let’s not pretend for one moment that anal sex isn’t a popular choice with heterosexual, cisgender couples.


Internet access, a marginal increase in sexual liberation, and the ease of ordering supplies discretely over the internet has made sexual activities like anal intercourse much, much more common.


Generally speaking, most couples like to try new things together, especially sexual activities that they might both enjoy.



So, remember how we mentioned that people were claiming that “women’s rights organizations” were blasting the article?


It turns out that there’s no, like, Grand Council of Women that meets in a space station that orbits Venus and hands out certificates of authority to groups that advocate for women’s rights.


Any group can claim to be “women’s rights advocates.”


The Taliban could make that claim.


One socially conservative article by The Christian Post, for example, cites an organization called the “National Center of Sexual Exploitation.”


Now, you see that name and you think that maybe they work to break down sex trafficking or rescue underage girls or end child marriages or something, right?


We looked them up.


They are in fact an organization that mostly concentrates on hating porn and anything that might have to do with sexuality in mainstream culture.


They want to “combat obscenity” and enforce Judeo-Christian values upon society.


So … they don’t behead anybody, but in terms of their goals … that Taliban analogy maybe wasn’t so far off.


As for critical articles like that Christian Post one … you get eyestrain reading them.


(Because they use words like “sodomize” … and we just rolled our eyes super hard at that)



Then there’s the complaint that this post is male-centric.


(Which is, as we mentioned, super rude to trans people, though at least not as awful as James Woods’ transphobic tweet)


But let’s say that the faux women’s rights groups and the pearl-clutching social conservatives were being inclusive and meant penis-centric.


They’re still wrong.


Not only does the guide address how a recipient of anal sex who has a prostate will experience pleasure …


(Obviously)


… The article also talks about how very close the wall of the rectum is with the vaginal wall, which is why many people with vaginas find anal sex very pleasant.


So, the post addresses different genitals and how they might be impacted.


Anyone who thinks that anal sex is solely for the penetrator’s pleasure is either grossly misinformed or doing it wrong.






And let’s see … what other nonsense did people spew …


Then there’s the complaint that Teen Vogue is somehow hypnotizing young people into having anal sex by … making sure that they can do it safely.


It’s always interesting to see the people who think that knowledge of how to do things that are perfectly fine is somehow “dangerous.”


(It reminds us of how Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix doesn’t want any students actually practicing spells)


(Actually, that bit has always seemed analogous to conservative views on sex ed)


Teenagers have sex. Not all of them, and not all of them before college.


But a large enough proportion that they absolutely need to be informed.


Besides, having knowledge doesn’t coerce people into doing anything that they didn’t already want to do.


Having knowledge will help them do things more safely, however.


But we all know that, in the end, most of these critics are just upset that we don’t live in The Handmaid’s Tale and that people can make their own sexual choices.


Maybe they should loosen up?


We hear that Teen Vogue has some suggestions on how to do that.


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Friday, March 31, 2017

Iggy Azalea"s Twerking Guide for Dudes (VIDEO)

Iggy Azalea has a fave twerker when it comes to her #MoBounceChallenge, and even though it’s a famous chick … she wants guys to get in on the action too. Iggy launched the hashtag campaign — think Ice Bucket Challenge with more butts, and…


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Saturday, March 11, 2017

Daylight Saving Time 2017 Guide: All You Need to Know!

Let us just say that it’s about time, people. Are we right?


See what we did there?! Literally and figuratively? Eh?


Terrible puns notwithstanding, it’s cause for celebration across the nation because Daylight Saving Time commences this weekend.



For those beaten down by winter and desperate for this long, dark period of our lives to end, the event comes not a moment too soon.


Daylight Saving Time is harbinger of seasons to come, a cause for springing ahead (so to speak) with life and the renewal of the spirit.


It’s also inherently confounding for a lot of people somehow.


Fortunately, THG is here to break it all down and help you through a monumentally complex event that we haven’t seen the likes of since 2016.


Here are 17 helpful tips for Daylight Savings Time 2017:




Daylight Savings Time Diagram


1. It begins officially tomorrow: Sunday, March 12 at 2 a.m.


2. Time “springs” forward one hour (see above infographic).


3. Set your clocks ahead before you go to bed tonight. Done.


4. Or stay up until 2 a.m., put ‘em at 3, then hit the sack. BAM.


5. Your iPhone should be automated, so don’t even WORRY.


6. Your microwave probably isn’t, though, so take note of that.


7. At least your microwave can’t be hacked by the CIA. #Win.



8. Yes, this means losing an hour of sleep Sunday morning. 


9. Especially with little kids on a nap schedule. Gonna be rough.


10. BUT you get an extra hour of sun in the evening. Tight.


11. The concept of DST dates all the way back to 1895.


12. It was the brainchild of one Ben Franklin. Who knew?!


13. It was recently extended a decade ago to save energy.


14. Daylight Saving Time 2017 ends Sunday, November 5, at which point you’ll be “falling” back to the original time, as depicted below:



15. Changing the clock in your car could take you awhile, especially if you have an older model, because that s–t is a legit pain in the a–.


16. Seriously. A post-it note affixed to the dashboard reminding you that it’s hour slow until 11/5 may be easier. It’s only 7.75 months.


17. Arizona, Hawaii and Puerto Rico peeps: Disregard 1-16.


There you go: 17 easy steps to prep you for #DST17 so that you we can not only get through this, but spring into March and beyond.


With gusto, and aplomb. Up top!


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Thursday, January 26, 2017

Teen Mom & Teen Mom 2: The Complete Babies and Children Guide!


The girls from Teen Mom & Teen Mom 2 became famous because of their babies, welcomed into the world at a very young age.


You could say they were 16 and Pregnant. All of them.


For better or worse, they persevered and went on and (in many cases) had additional ones! At parenting, some have fared well.


Others, fared … not quite as overwhelmingly well.


Perhaps it"s fitting that Jenelle Evans welcomed her third child one day before Chelsea Houska had her second, as these girls run the gamut!


We"re not here to be critical (that"s what Instagram is for). We"re just here to break down the eight stars and their unconventional families.


Unconventional, but beautiful and loving. <3




1. Sophia (Farrah Abraham and Derek Underwood)


Farrah abraham and sophia in makeup

Oh, Soph. Unlike many of her Teen Mom tot counterparts, Sophia lives the life of luxury, thanks to her mother, non-porn star Farrah Abraham. Seriously, the younger Abraham has her own clothing line, dabbles in child modeling, hires and fires people for her mom (you can’t make that up), and receives $ 900 when the tooth fairy pays a visit. (Sophia’s father, Derek, died in a car accident while Farrah was still pregnant; Derek’s grave is the site of many memorable TM scenes, which some believe to be shamelessly orchestrated by Farrah). Sophia is going to be a handful when she grows up at this rate … the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree as they say.



2. Leah (Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley)


Amber and leah shirley

Amber Portwood is a rarity in the world of Teen Mom, as the OG has not birthed another child after daughter Leah. Probably for the best, given her devastating drug problems; Amber served a year and a half in prison. Leah’s dad, Gary Shirley, has been there for her the entire time, and she seems to be well-adjusted as both Gary and Amber move on with their lives and new relationships – even if hers (with Matt Baier) has involved plenty of tension.



3. Carly (Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra)


Catelynn and tyler teen mom

When step-siblings turned lovers Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra made the decision to give their baby Carly up for adoption, it marked one of the most touching, bittersweet moments in reality TV history. What made it all the more incredible was that they stayed involved in her life – albeit with some bumps in the road – ever since, then got married and had another baby together years later. Which they kept.



4. Nova (Catelynn and Tyler)


Tyler baltierra catelynn lowell novalee hike pic

Tyler and Catelynn kept and are raising Novalee Reign Baltierra together, not that it’s been easy. Catelynn’s severe self-esteem issues and post-partum depression have been a major storyline for the couple in recent seasons ofTeen Mom: OG.



5. Bentley (Maci Bookout and Ryan Edwards)


Maci bookout and bentley edwards

Bentley, Maci Bookout and Ryan Edwards’ first and only child, is much bigger than this these days, and the level of happiness in their lives has also grown expontentially. After a relationship with Edwards that was among the franchise’s most disastrous, Maci met and married Taylor McKinney, who fathered two additional kids with Maci and has been an incredible stepdad to Bentley. Even Ryan has moved on and gotten engaged … miracles do happen in this world.



6. Jayde (Maci and Taylor McKinney)


Maci bookout jayde and taylor mckinney photo

Maci and Taylor McKinney’s first child together was a daughter, Jayde.


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Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Kim Kardashian Shares Her Favorite SEX TOYS in V-Day Gift Guide

Just when you thought you had all you needed to know about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s sexual proclivities, the mom of two (three if you count Kanye) took to her app to share her sex toy recommendations – and just in time for Valentine’s Day!



Among the products posted in her Valentine’s Day gift guide “Behind Closed Doors” are:


  • Couple’s vibrating cock ring

  • Another vibe that looks like a mini bowling pin

  • 50 Shades of Grey riding crop

  • Edible undies

  • Mesh handcuffs

  • Chocolate body fondue

Sounds like she’s spiced things up quite a bit since her amateur sex tape with Ray J, which has been used by many as a solid alternative to Ambien.


Noticeably absent from this list, however, is any doo dad that might suggest any sort of butt play, because even though his ex Amber Rose made it clear that he did, Kanye West wants everyone to know that he most definitely does NOT like it like that.


YOU GOT THAT, EVERYBODY?



Oddly enough, Kim also suggests a stripper pole as part of her guide – a bit ironic since Kanye has criticized Amber on numerous occasions for her past occupation as an exotic dancer.


While there are a few reasonably-priced items on her list (like a book of sex coupons for $ 5 and a Let’s F**k The XXX Board Game for $ 10), Kim also encourages $ 86 rose petals and a $ 10,000 bottle of champagne.


But I suppose if you’re on a budget you can just pluck your own petals from a gas station bouquet and while you’re there grab a $ 5 bottle of Andre Brut.


See? Even we plebes can get kinky like Kimye with a little creativity.