24 Tweets That Totally (and Tragically?) Sum Up Marriage

"Til Death Do You Part, huh?

Are you sure about that?

The following Twitter messages may cause you to think twice.

We (mostly) kid, but these jokes and observations do sum up married life pretty darn well.

Scroll through them now and prepare to nod along vigorously if you"re a husband or a wife…

1. Get Used To It, Fellas

This is just the way things are… and the way things always will be.

2. How Dare You?!?

I’ve got a good comeback to that. Just give me a few months to think of it, okay?

3. You Can’t Win, Guys

She knows everything. Just agree the first time and you’ll be best off. Trust us.

4. Terwdfsnserddsguwep[up

“No, you are the one who needs to grow up!” is what this translates to, it’s just that the husband has many gummy bears in his mouth.

5. Parenting. Win.

For us, that is, not so much for the parents whose kid is crying that hard.

6. There are Other Topics of Conversation

But this is the main one, let’s be honest.

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Teen Mom: The Definitive, Tragically Trashy Tattoo Guide!

If you"re a fan of Teen Mom, then you know that many of the people on the show have tattoos.

You also know that a lot of the tattoos … well, they aren"t that great.

Some are poorly done, some are just kind of strange, and some are nightmarish and horrifying and just so completely, unbelievably bad.

So steady yourself, perhaps grab some smelling salts and some pearls to clutch, and let"s check out all the Teen Mom ink we can get our eyes on!

1. Amber’s Tattoo of Leah

Here, let’s just start with the worst of the worst, all right? This is Amber Portwood’s portrait of her daughter, Leah. It’s right on her stomach, it also features a gigantic rose, and it’s not finished. Will she ever get it finished? It’s hard to say. We will ever be able to get this haunting image out of our heads? Unlikely.

2. Choices

Since we’re already talking about Amber’s tattoos, she also got this matching tattoo with Matt Baier, back when they first started dating. It reads “vero amore,” which is supposed to be Italian for “true love.” So that’s embarrassing.

3. Speaking of Embarrassing …

Matt also has this huge tattoo of Amber’s name right on his forearm. Just right there on his arm where he has to look at it all day, every day.

4. Ugh

Matt actually has several tattoos, many of which you can see on his nude book cover. We won’t waste more time on him here, so if you feel the need to look more closely at his naked greasy bod here, then you have our blessing. However, we will say that on his other arm, he has a couple of Chinese characters that he says mean “clean and sober,” but that Teen Mom detectives have actually determined mean “Lisa.”

5. Why Though?

As hard as it may be to believe, Matt isn’t the only guy to get Amber Portwood’s name tattooed on his body — Gary Shirley made the exact same mistake. Thankfully he was smart enough (???) to get the tattoo on his shoulder instead of on his forearm though, and he’s since covered up.

6. It’s Gary Time

Gary also has a … what is that, a sun? A blob with tentacles? Whatever it is, he’s also got some tattoo right in the middle of his chest, peeking out through all his body hair.

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Gord Downie Dies; Tragically Hip Singer Was 53

Gord Downie, singer of the beloved Canadian rock band The Tragically Hip, has passed away at the age of 53.

News of his death came today via a moving statement penned by his family:

“Last night, Gord quietly passed away with his beloved children and family close by,” reads the statement issued this morning.

“Gord knew this day was coming – his response was to spend this precious time as he always had – making music, making memories and expressing deep gratitude to his family and friends for a life well lived, often sealing it with a kiss … on the lips.

“Gord said he had lived many lives,” they added.

“As a musician, he lived ‘the life’ for over 30 years, lucky to do most of it with his high school buddies. At home, he worked just as tirelessly at being a good father, son, brother, husband and friend.

“No one worked harder on every part of their life than Gord. No one.”

Downie had been battling brain cancer since 2015, but did not make his terminal diagnosis public until May of 2016.

That same summer, the Hip released their final studio album with Downie, Man Poem Machine, and embarked on a nationwide Canadian tour.

The tour culminated with an emotional hometown performance at the Rogers K-Rock Centre in Kingston, Ontario.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, a lifelong Hip fan, attended the farewell show, tweeting:

“Dear world, Please be advised that Canada will be closed tonight at 8:30 p.m. Have a #TragicallyHip day.”

Trudeau tweeted again today, paying moving tribute to his nation’s unofficial poet laureate:

“There will never be another one like you, Gord. Rest in peace my friend,” Trudeau wrote.

“Canada’s identity & culture are richer for Gord Downie’s work,” he wrote.

Downie and his band’s importance to Canadian culture canot be overstated.

In 2013, the band was featured on a set of postage stamps and in July of this year, they received the Order of Canada, the nation’s highest civilian honor.

Downie is survived by his wife, Laura Leigh Usher, and four children.

View Slideshow: Celebrities Who Died in 2017: In Memoriam

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The Tragically Hip Singer Gord Downie Dead At 53 From Brain Cancer

The Tragically Hip’s frontman Gord Downie lost his battle with brain cancer Tuesday night.  Gord was diagnosed with incurable glioblastoma after suffering a seizure in December of 2015. Instead of calling it quits, Gord and the rest of…

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Danielle Bregoli Reality Show: Tragically Coming Soon!

The Cash Me Ousside girl is about to cash in on her unfortunate fame.

According to TMZ, Danielle Bregoli is deep in discussions to star in her very own reality show.

In other shocking news, Kylie Jenner just posted a photo of herself in a bikini on Instagram.

Bregoli is the 13-year old moron girl who tragically rose to viral fame in September when she appeared as a guest opposite Dr. Phil.

On stage alongside her mother, who was concerned about her child’s attitude and behavior, Bregoli did her best to act all tough and combative with the audience.

At one point, in response to endless jeering and a barrage of insults being hurled her way, Bregoli screamed some nonsense about whether anyone wants to “cash me ousside, howbowdah.”

That has been the best interpretation of Bregoli’s taunt at least.

And the catchphrase has since taken on a life of its own.

Earlier this month, Bregoli appeared for a second time on Dr. Phil, telling the host that she’s responsible for his fame.

See the clip below:

Danielle Bregoli (Cash Me Ousside Girl) to Dr. Phil: I Made You!

About a week after this footage aired, Bregoli spoke to a TMZ cameraman, trashing all the Kardashians and giving Kim Kardashian grief for her sex tape.

Sadly, in this day and age, it’s not hard to understand why networks would be lining up to give Bregoli her own series.

Danielle’s managers tell TMZ that they’ve been contacted by no fewer than seven production companies.

As we type, they are scheduling meetings for this week, with four of the companies interested in doing a program with Danielle and her mom.

Other companies, meanwhile, are pitching the idea of a scripted series to Bregoli.

Then again, we’re not really sure what the difference between a scripted series and a reality series actually is.

(If you believe Keeping Up with the Kardashians isn’t scripted, we’ve got some stock in MySpace we’d like to sell you.)

Three more tidbits of note, per TMZ:

1. She is also getting paid offers to show up at strips clubs. She’s 13. That’s gross.


2. Bregoli is demanding a minimum of $ 30,000 to appear as meet-and-greet type of events.


3. If/when Bregoli does agree to some kind of television deal, she will likely move to Hollywood.

This means that she may run into Kim Kardashian someday.

We had been hoping that Bregoli’s 15 Minutes of Fame would have expired by now. But… alas.

We were clearly fooling ourselves.

This young girl is never going away. She’ll probably be President in 2042.

God help us all.

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Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield: It"s Tragically Over!

It is tragically all over for Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield.

The beloved couple, who managed to maintain a significant amount of privacy while still coming across as totally adorable, have split after four years of dating.

“They still have a lot of love for one another and they are on good terms with each another and remain close,” an insider tell Us Weekly of the Amazing Spider-Man costars.

“It just wasn’t working.”

According to E! News, the relationship actually ended months ago and the stars remain on “good terms.”

There was actually talk back in April that Stone and Garfield broke up (due to alleged cheating by the latter), but those rumors were never confirmed.

Multiple reliable outlets are reporting on this split, however.

And most of them point to busy schedules on both ends as the basis for things not working out.

“I understand the interest in it completely, because I’ve had it, too,” Stone told WSJ Magazine this summer when asked about her romance with Garfield.

“But it’s so special to me that it never feels good to talk about, so I just continually don’t talk about it.”

See. This is why we loved these two so much!

Earlier today, it was announced that Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez will file for divorce after two years of dating.

Both these famous twosomes now join MANY others that have called it quits in 2015. To wit…

View Slideshow: Celebrity Breakups of 2015: They’re Dropping Like Flies!