Friday, August 31, 2018

Azealia Banks to Elon Musk: Sorry! You"re Not Really a Balding Drug Addict!

One of the most amusing gossip items of August had to do with the highly unexpected feud between Azealia Banks and Elon Musk.


In case you’re unfamiliar with those names, they perfectly represent the two main archetypes of American egomania:






Banks is the gifted artist whose rage over the fact that she still has to ride the subway like a plebe has driven her to repeatedly sabotage her own career.


Conversely, Musk is quite successful financially but is consistently driven mad over the world’s unwillingness to recognize him as the heir to Einstein, Edison, Henry Ford, and Jesus H. Christ.


In other words, they may not seem to have much in common — Banks is a self-made creative, whereas Mush is a left-brain cyborg who could’ve spent his entire life blowing his family’s emerald mine fortune.


But at the end of the day, Banks and Musk are just two sides of the same narcissistic coin.



Perhaps that’s why they clashed upon first meeting, then later realized they were destined to join forces.


Allow us to explain:


Earlier this month, NYC-based Banks spent some time in LA with the intention of collaborating on a song with Musk’s girlfriend, Grimes.


So she paid a visit to Musk’s sprawling mansion and found it to have less of a “Tony Stark” vibe and more of an “Allison Williams’ parent’s house in Get Out” feel.



In addition to comparing her experience to Jordan Peele’s horror classic, Banks says she witnessed a wealth of appallingly self-destructive behavior from both Musk and Grimes.


Banks referred to Musk as a “giant d–k” and a “beta male who took steroids and hair plugs to convince himself he’s alpha.”


She also accused Musk of conducting business while tripping on LSD, and Grimes of being a meth addict.


She later alleged that Musk had stolen her phone so that he could “delete evidence” of their encounter.



Needless to say, after all that it was quite a surprise to see that Banks had issued a public apology to Musk:


“I feel terrible about everything,” reads the now-deleted open letter that was posted to Banks’ Instagram page.


“Over the time spent liaising said collaborations [with Grimes], I was welcomed to a lot of personal information about you,” Banks wrote.


“The stuff made me feel awkward and uncomfortable about being privy to you, yet I never had the intentions of ever using the information against you.



She added:


“What started off as a cat-fight lead to some seriously unexpected consequences and I seriously apologize.”


Interestingly, Banks’ refused to use Grimes name throughout the letter, referring to her would-be collaborator only with a pair of empty quotation marks.


After posting the letter, Banks deleted her Instagram account, but now appears to have re-instated her account.


We’ll continue to monitor this weird-ass situation and let you know if it gets any weirder.



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"ER" Actress Vanessa Marquez Shot and Killed by Cops

Actress Vanessa Marquez – who played Wendy Goldman on “ER” — was shot and killed by police … and authorities believe Vanessa had mental issues stemming from an eating disorder. Vanessa’s landlord called South Pasadena police Thursday…


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Ariana Grande: My First Kiss With Pete Davidson Was So F--king Epic!

Pete Davidson has been pretty blunt about how he’s always horny for Ariana Grande. But there’s more to these two than sexual chemistry and a major height difference.


Now, Ariana is speaking about their first kiss, and sharing some surprising details.



More than once, Ariana has destroyed claims that she cheated on Mac Miller. To those conspiracy theorists, she and Pete secretly hooked up years ago.


In real life, though, Ariana’s relationship with Pete began in late May — and now, speaking on Nicki MInaj’s Queen Radio, Ariana describes their first kiss.


“It was sick,” Ariana gushes. “It was so dope!”


Ariana gives a little more detail about the kiss, and even before their lips touched, she says, “It was so cute.”


She reveals: “He asked me for permission to kiss me!”



Asking for consent before your first kiss is not only cute, it’s a good sign. What’s the opposite of a red flag when it comes to dating?


“It’s kind of complicated,” Ariana says. “Because it wasn’t too naughty of a kiss.”


Naughty kiss sounds like a goofy British euphamism akin to sweep the special chimney, but clearly she just means that it was an emotionally charged but relatively chaste kiss.


Ariana then struggles to describe the passion between them, saying: “But it was like … there was so much … in there, you know?”


Go ahead, get all of the jokes about Ariana’s phrasing here and Pete Davidson’s impressive dong out of your system. We’ll wait.



Ariana meant that there was so much emotional significance in their kiss.


“It was really sweet,” Ariana continues to gush.


She says that, lack of naughtiness aside, it was a huge turn-on.


“But,” Ariana dishes. “It was also really sexy.”


Though a lot of people have wanted to keep seeing Ariana as young and innocent, she’s been a grown woman for years, even if she’s still the height of a fourth grader.


Ariana has made very adult nature very, very clear in her music, interviews, and music videos.



Ariana also shares that, kissing aside, she loves her engagement to Pete.


“We have a lot of fun,” she shares.


The two of them just click with each other and have similar sense of humor on top of all of that infamous sexual chemistry.


“He’s like my best friend …” Ariana affirms.


In terms of their overall relationship, which is still just a few months old, she reveals: “it gets better every day.”



Ariana continues to gush about Pete, saying that they seem to mirror each other.


“We’re the boy-girl version of each other,” Ariana explains.


Of course, physically speaking, they’re more like fun house mirror versions of each other.


Ariana resorts to hyperbole, saying: “He’s, like, 70 feet tall, and I’m 4 inches tall!”


That’s not the literal case, of course, but Pete does have a good 15 inchest on Ariana’s 5-foot-0. And that’s not counting his penis.


There is statistical evidence that suggests that their height difference might help Pete and Ariana’s relationship last.



If we had to guess, we’d say that this famous first kiss took place on, like, May 20th at the Billboard Music Awards, or within the next few days.


Maybe, like, the day before. But we wouldn’t be surprised if that kiss took place backstage.


Good for Ariana and for Pete for living their best and sexiest lives.


We really are rooting for them, as individuals but also as a couple.



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Cardi B Allegedly Orders Attacks of Stripper Sisters, Claims One Slept with Offset

Cardi B is accused of unleashing her posse on 2 strippers and badly injuring both, and we’ve learned they’re going to cops to trigger a formal criminal investigation. One of the strippers — Jade — claims Cardi’s been threatening her for…


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