She’s back, baby. She is most definitely motherf–king back.
While the SUR crew partied in Hawaii, Stassi Schroeder made her long-awaited return to L.A. on Vanderpump Rules Season 4 Episode 13.
There, she revealed the truth about her sex tape and more …
Truth be told, she’s groveling. She’s in a low place in her life after telling everyone to go f–k themselves, and it’s kind of great.
She and Kristen cried over missing Katie’s engagement, while throwing back two bottles of white wine (no judgment. More like respect). Then Stassi admitted to filming a one-woman show that Scheana showed to others for a laugh.
At this point, anyone who makes a sex tape has to understand that the chances of it going public are high.
Kristen is dating Jax’s friend, Kevin from Austin. Kevin, according to Stassi, may have a live-in girlfriend. This is not his biggest offense, however. Kristen ordered Kevin an Uber to meet her and Stassi at a restaurant. The dead-ass couldn’t get one himself?
Meanwhile, in Hawaii, a bunch of people who don’t deserve nice things drank their way around the island, and one of them managed to commit a felony!
Scheana’s outpatient rehab service is failing, since her one and only patient, Shay is on the sauce. Did he not heed her warning of doing every OTHER shot? Or stopping when he gets a good buzz?
Lala revealed that James suffers from whiskey d–k, and you kind of feel bad for the guy until he opens his mouth. You have to wonder if his 7-hour romp with Lauren the other hostess was made up…
Jax’s girlfriend, Brittany, wants to bury the hatchet with Lala and start over. Lala’s all “whatever, take off them rose colored glasses.”
And finally, Jax’s penchant for stealing finally catches up with him. Somehow, between waking up and killing time before their flight back to LA (after which they must make it to a Third Eye Blind concert), Jax got hammered, walked into a store and stole a pair of $ 300 sunglasses.
Because of the price point, Jax was charged with felony theft, with bail set at $ 11,000.
Instead of leaving him on the island to rot, the gang waits around for Jax. They finally head to the airport with 90 minutes to spare, and Jax is able to meet them and catch a flight home. Brittany must have packed up his stuff for him back at the hotel (bless her heart), and when he got to the airport, she just stood there, unable to look at him.
“I’m sorry,” he kept saying. “I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
The guy is a loser and a kleptomanaic.
The end.
If you watch Vanderpump Rules online, you know all too well that Stassi is a polarizing figure even by the Bravo show’s high standards.
