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Clemson superstar QB Trevor Lawrence says he’s sorry for shoving a fellow student to the ground during a heated intramural hoops game … admitting it was “probably unnecessary.”
Of course, 19-year-old Lawrence — 6’6″, 215 pounds —...
Clemson"s Trevor Lawrence Sorry For Violent Shove On Court ... "Probably Unnecessary"
Showing posts with label Shove. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shove. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Clemson"s Trevor Lawrence Sorry For Violent Shove On Court ... "Probably Unnecessary"
Thursday, March 22, 2018
Angelina Jolie to Jennifer Aniston: Take Your Peace Offering and Shove It!
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are over.
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are over.
But might Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston just be getting started?!?
Indeed, according to a hilarious In Touch Weekly rumor, Aniston recently reached out to her long-time rival in hopes of getting together and burying a hatchet that has existed ever since Brad Pitt buried his penis deep inside of Angelina’s…
… sorry, nevermind.
You probably get it.
The aforementioned tabloid writes in its latest issue that Aniston “extended an invitation” to sit down for a meal with Jolie because “Jen thought it was finally time to resolve the past.”
Even the recent past.
Just in the past couple months alone, there’s been talk that Aniston and Pitt are getting back together, now that each is single.
We’ve always doubted this chatter and it appears as if Aniston wanted to make sure Angelina didn’t believe any of it, either.
Aniston was aiming for a “fresh start on all fronts” with Jolie, who this same report alleges responded as followed to Aniston:
LOLOLOLOL, NO!
We’re paraphrasing with that response, of course, but In Touch writes that Jolie turned down Aniston’s invitation.
For what reason?
The former Academy Award winner supposedly told Aniston that “she didn’t owe her an apology,” leading the magazine insider to conclude:
“The whole idea to get together for dinner turned into a disaster.”
Shocking, right?
Aside from the obvious reasons why Jolie would scoff at this sort of request, Star Magazine claims that Aniston and Pitt have been hanging out of late, due to an intervention of sorts by George Clooney.
The beloved actor is close friends with Pitt and has reportedly been in close contact with him ever since his September 2016 divorce from Jolie.
“After Jen and Justin [Theroux, 46] announced their split, [Clooney] encouraged Brad to reach out and give their relationship another chance,” Star claims of Pitt and Aniston.
This supposedly led to Pitt and Aniston getting together on the night of March 3, reminiscing about “the past” and sharing “a lot of laughs.”
Overall, “it seemed just like old times, but better,” the tabloid reports.
Naturally, news of this meeting of ex-lovers got back to Jolie, which helps explain why she never considered a sit-down with Aniston.
Simply put, according to In Touch?
“She’s furious about it.”
Thankfully, even if Aniston does jump into bed again with Pitt, all hope is not lose for Jolie.
There’s a certain handsome actor who wants to take her out on a date and who would probably not object to a round of intercourse, either.
We can’t say for certain what will happen between them, but both Jolie and Aniston need to focus on the future.
The former confirmed her split from Jolie over a year and a half ago, while Aniston separated from Theroux in February via the following statement:
In an effort to reduce any further speculation, we have decided to announce our separation. This decision was mutual and lovingly made at the end of last year.
We are two best friends who have decided to part ways as a couple, but look forward to continuing our cherished friendship.
The stars had been together for seven years at the time and married for two years.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Gwyneth Paltrow: Shove Rocks in Your Vagina to Get Better at Sex!
Gwyneth Paltrow is just brimming with ideas.
The problem is, most of them involve your vagina, and are terrible.
You have thought it couldn’t get any worse than Paltrow’s tips on steam-cleaning your vadge. You were wrong…
Unless you have some very unusual bedroom kinks, or you happen to be Lena Dunham’s little sister, you’ve probably never given much thought to filling your nether regions with rocks.
Gwyneth would like to change that.
But of course, she’d like you to buy some overpriced crap from her ridiculous website first.
Specifically, she’d like you to shell out $ 66 for a jade egg that you will then slip into your va-jay-jay to enhance your lady powers.
The entire article about why you should pack your genitals full of shiny stones is worth reading but the highlight has to be the hard sell, in which whatever intern is being paid p–sy eggs fills you in on the benefits
Fans say regular use increases chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.
The post goes on to instruct:
“Please be sure to follow the instructions included with your egg.”
We doubt any of you are actually planning to buy the egg, but if you do, WE STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO HEED THAT ADVICE.
If you start 2017 by having to get a jade egg extracted from your hoo-hah, there’s almost no way for the year to redeem itself from there.
What 2016 did to our celebrity population 2017 might do to your dignity, ya know?
Normally, we’d encourage you to DIY it instesd of dropping 70 bones on a piece of polished rock, but there are so many things that can go wrong there, and we don’t need that on our conscience.
Unlike Gwinnie, we’re not getting rich off advising you to do dumb things to your private parts.
But hey, if you give this thing a shot, drop us a line and let us know how it went.
We promise to admire your bravery in addition to bemoaning your stupidity.
For those about to rock, we salute you.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Hailee Steinfeld -- Autograph Hound Needs Ambulance After Lamest Shove Ever (VIDEOS)
One Hailee Steinfeld autograph seeker got an ambulance ride from LAX, but video of the incident makes it seem like he might need an Oscar. Our photog was on the scene as Hailee walked to her car, and the autograph seeker persistently buzzed…
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Miss Iceland 2015: Take Your Body-Shaming Pageant and Shove It!
Arna Yr Jónsdóttir, Miss Iceland 2015, unceremoniously quit an upcoming beauty pageant because the asshats in charge told her that she should lose weight.
For reference, this is what Arna looks like.
LOL. Are you LOLing, too? Because we’re LOLing so hard.
The advice that prompted Jónsdóttir to withdraw from the competition?
“Stop eating breakfast, eat just salad for lunch, and drink water every evening until the contest.”
If it doesn’t involve cake, red meat, or pasta, we just don’t want to have any part of it.
And the bit about the obviously perfect Arna having to lose weight?
Good grief, please.
The pageant – to be held in Las Vegas – is just four days away, and it appears that Jónsdóttir will not be competing.
When Jónsdóttir balked at the idea of crash-dieting in the days leading up to the pageant, she received a message from the show’s television presenter.
He said, “[I am] telling you this because [I] like you and want you to do well in this contest.”
Her response?
Gold.
“If the owner of the contest really wants me to lose weight and doesn’t like me the way I am, then he doesn’t deserve to have me in the Top 10,” she spat back.
She continued and said, “Yes, my shoulders are a bit broader than the other girls, but that is because I was a member of the Icelandic national athletics team and I am proud of that.”
We are too.
“Of course,” she continued, “I don’t take these comments to heart, but to do my best [and then hear this]…personally, I think I’m fine as I am.
Oh, girl, we do, too.
She concluded, “I no longer have any interest in doing my best in this competition after receiving that message.”
“This is definitely the last contest I shall be taking part in.”
After the drama subsided, she posted on Instagram, and said that she’d continue her time in Las Vegas, enjoying it and taking in the scene, but not before penning a handwritten letter to the showrunners.
The letter classily signed off, “In my country, my body shape is perfect. And that’s what I’m gonna remember. No one will ever tell me anything else.”
“I hope that the finals will be amazing,” she concluded. “I know the show will be.”
And you will be – and are! – too, girl.
You keep on doing you, and don’t let anybody body-shame you into doing anything else.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Justin Bieber to Selena Gomez: Take Your Sorry and Shove It!
Forgive the obvious opening here, but Justin Bieber has a message for Selena Gomez:
Yes, it’s too late to say you’re sorry now.
On Tuesday morning, Selena tried to reach out to her ex-boyfriend.
She apparently felt bad about starting a public dispute with Bieber and shared a message aimed in his direction on Snapchat.
“What I said was selfish and pointless,” it read.
Here’s a look at that very basic message:
To what was Selena referring? Well…
Bieber shared a number of photos last week of him and Sofia Richie, his new girlfriend who accompanied him on a trip to Tokyo.
Soon afterward, the Internet did what the Internet so often, hating on Richie and even threatening her life on a few occasions.
Therefore, in response, Bieber spoke out.
“I’m gonna make my Instagram private if you guys don’t stop the hate this is getting out of hand,” Bieber captioned a photo of himself with Richie.
“If you guys are really fans you wouldn’t be so mean to people that I like.”
It actually seemed like a noble gesture at the time. Bieber was standing up for his new girlfriend, coming down on trolls who were clearly out of line with things they said to her.
But Gomez didn’t take it that way.
She left a comment on Bieber’s Instagram page that reads as follows:
“If you can’t handle the hate then stop posting pictures of your girlfriend lol – it should be special between you two only. Don’t be mad at your fans. They love you.”
It was unclear at first whether Gomez actually left this comment.
It didn’t come directly from her social media account and it’s very, VERY unlike her to comment publicly on any Justin Bieber romance.
But then Selena left the Snapchat apology we shared at the outset of this post and it now seems like she really did mix it up with Bieber online.
The back-and-forth between singers eventually led to Bieber leaving Instagram after he accused Selena of cheating on him with Zayn Malik.
Seriously. It got UGLY between Justin and Selena.
According to TMZ, meanwhile, Gomez has tried to reach out personally to Bieber in order to apologize… but he isn’t having it.
Bieber thinks Selena talks a good game in public about wanting to distance herself from him.
But then she goes ahead and gets all up in his personal business again and again.
Bieber is especially amused and annoyed because Gomez dissed him for threatening to quit Instagram, even though … well… she did the same exact thing earlier this year.
Case in point:
Justin makes a pretty good point here.
HOWEVER, this is worth noting:
TMZ also claims Bieber never once fired back at Gomez.
The site says Bieber did not allege she cheated on him and never once replied to her Instagram comments.
Those were edited on to the Internet by trolls with Photoshop. Interesting, huh?
Where do you stand on this feud? Should Selena have apologized? Should Bieber accept?
Or should both sides just leave each other the heck along until their inevitable reconciliation?
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Dude Tries to Shove Bag of Poop Down Woman"s Pants: WATCH!
A man on New York"s Upper East Side attempted to shove a literal bag of sh!te down a woman’s shorts on the street in broad daylight.
Yes, we are serious.
According to media reports, an unsuspecting 27-year-old woman was assailed from behind as she walked down 74th Street in NYC.
Only this was not your standard mugging, just … weirder. After grabbing her waist, a man tried to shove a bag of deuce in her pants.
After groping her buttocks in addition to, or as part of this mission (it"s quite unclear as you can imagine), he failed and bolted quickly.
The surveillance video below shows him chuck the bag of fecal waste – and what looks like a glove of unknown origin – after the fact.
“His hands were clean, but he’s pure filth,” the New York Daily News reports in a line that surely elicited many high-fives at the office.
While jokes that are going to be inevitable from observers under such absurd circumstances, the victim was understandably very distraught.
So much so that it took her two tries to call 911, according to a parking attendant at a garage who witnessed the incident and its aftermath.
As far as we know, the s–thead to perpetrated this crime is at large and has not yet returned to his jail or mental institution of origin.
The eyewitness reports that the woman"s mother and sister arrived soon after the bizarre encounter to bring her a clean pair of clothes.
That"s good at least.
Officials say it"s “unknown” what species of animal – human or otherwise – produced the excrement contained in this particular bag.
You know you want to know.
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