Showing posts with label Snooki. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Snooki. Show all posts

Friday, November 2, 2018

Jersey Shore Recap: Snooki Gets WASTED!

The cast of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation was tasked with its most important mission of all-time this week:


Finding a new home to crash in for awhile.


As you’ll find out below, the residence needed to include at least one prominent feature — and as you’ll also find out below, Snooki can really drink!




snook drinks


First, however, she and JWOWW paid a visit to an extremely pregnant Deena Cortese.


She explained to her friends how she recently had a scare and was subsequently ordered to be on bed rest until her next checkup.


Describing the “scariest moment” of her life, Deena said she began bleeding randomly about halfway through her pregnancy.


She assured her fellow MTV stars that she was fine now, but she would be unable to join them on the aforementioned house search.


“I totally get it because I was pregnant once,” a sad Snooki told the camera, possibly forgetting that she actually has two kids.


From there, it was Deena and JWOWW’s turn to fill Snooki in on everything that went down in Atlantic City a few days before, including Ronnie Ortiz-Magro’s insane blowup with Jen Harley over … well… nothing at all, really.


There was also the matter of the Staten Island love triangle that formed among Vinny Guadagnino, Angelina Pivarnick and Angelina’s fiance, Chris.




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Speaking of that latter storyline:


In a later scene, Angelina was telling Chris about her forthcoming stay in the new Shore House when Vinny popped up in conversation.


Chris was pretty chill about him at first, but then… not so much.


“When you were out having your guys’ day, did you guys talk about anything serious?” Angelina asked.


“Vinny was saying something like, ‘You seem like a normal guy, so what are you gonna marry Angelina for?"” Chris responded.


“Why’s he asking you that?” Angelina asked prior to answering her own question. “Because he secretly loves me. And you know what? I don’t blame him for loving me because he should love me.”


“How do we keep coming back to the same topic?” Chris shot back. “Maybe you’re in love with him.”


“Chris, shut up,” Angelina said. “Ew! Gross! Hell no. You’re an ass.”




snook and ron


But enough about them.


We now turn to the home Snooki found on Craigslist, a lovely looking abode that was only missing one key element: a beach!


Ronnie met up with his pal there and the two proceeded to get totally sloshed.


After Snooki failed to get new intel out of Ronnie about Jen, she headed to a club and danced up a storm.


She also convinced Angelina to go straight from the airport to this establishment, leading to her hilariously showing up with, like, 9 suitcases.




smnook4


“Dren has arrived at dinner,” Vinny says during a meal that featured Snooki choosing to drink instead of eat seafood.


“I haven’t seen Dren make an appearance at dinner in a long time. Now the vacation has begun,” he added of his pal’s drunken personality.


“I’m drunk bitch. What do you want from me?” Snooki replied.


Nothing else. We want nothing else from you at all, Snook.


To watch Jersey Shore online and to see drunken antics from Snooki that you haven’t seen in ages, click on the video below.



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Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Snooki Claps Back HARD After Mom-Shamers Accuse Her of Neglect!

Snooki ihas always been quite the character. As we’ve seen on the new season of Jersey Shore, not everything has changed.


But these days, Snooki is a mother.


And when mom-shamers descend upon her in a frenzy over her 4-year-old’s appearance, she’s not afraid to clap back.



Snooki attended Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s wedding shower, also known as the “Hitchuation.”


On Instagram, she shared a beautiful photo of her daughter, Giovanna, with Jwoww’s daughter, Meilani.


“Here’s a pic of us at our first red carpet event,” Snooki jokes in the caption.


These precious girls do look like their mothers. It’s very much a “mini me” situation.


Snooki’s joke continues: “We were so young. @jwoww”



This sweet photo of 4-year-old Giovanna Marie and Meilani Alexandra earned the expected praise and adoration.


Unfortunately, it also attracted some very strange, disturbing criticism.


“Girl. You have money dress your girl better. She’s beautiful but needs to look nicer,” one troll demanded.


That troll continued: “You take time to do your hair face and dress do the same for her.”


Another mom-shamer wrote: “Kids hair is crazy.”




Snooki claps back at mom-shamers 01


Snooki actually replied to these haters.


“Mind your own business tho,” Snooki replies. That is some pretty good advice.


“I let my daughter pick her own outfits,” she explains.


Snooki affirms: I let her express herself.”


“Are you a mother?” Snooki asks. “Worry about your own damn kids, and let us live.”




Snooki claps back at mom-shamers 02


“She’s 4 god damn years old, f— off”


To the “Kids hair is crazy” jab, Snooki also had a retort.


She simply replied: “Let her live.”


A fan chimed in that they would “rather have my daughter not give a damn what any judgmental snobs think about her.”


“Amen, dude,” Snooki agreed. “Humans are such d–ks i fear for my kids in the future …”



To hear some people tell it, Snooki’s 4-year-old daughter’s cute look heralds the collapse of civilization.


“That’s the problem with the world today u have no shame!” one terrible commenter laments.


“Your [sic] the mom who doesn’t bathe her kid daily, who doesn’t help her brush her teeth,” the hater clames.


The shamer continues: “The one whose kids wear the same clothes 2 days in a row because your too busy on social media or doing your own hair and makeup.”


“You spent half your morning on your eyebrows,” this troll claims: “But couldn’t wash or even brush your kids hair.”


The shamer concludes: “You should be ashamed and I’m glad these people are calling you out!”



A decade ago, we would never have imagined saying this, but … it really does sound like Snooki is a good mom.


Some people, particularly public figures, obsess over public perception and force their very small children to dress like fancy adults.


Giovanna looks absolutely adorable in these photos, but that is beside the point. Even if she looked a little out of place, it would be a good thing.


She is literally a 4 year old child. She doesn’t need to dress to meet someone’s weird, unhealthy expectations of what celebrity kids should look like.


We hope that these mom-shamers don’t have children of their own. Growing up in their households sounds … suffocating.



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Thursday, September 20, 2018

Snooki: The New Season of Jersey Shore Is Full of LIES!

If you’ve been watching the current season of Jersey Shore Family Vacation, you may have noticed that something about the show is a bit … off.


And we’re not talking about the fact that Ronnie’s baby mama makes the rest of the cast look downright sophisticated by comparison, or the mystery of how Mike is able to casually consume 4,500 calories at each meal.




No, we’re talking about the haphazard, slapdash way the show seems to be assembled this season,


Jersey Shore Family Vacation 2 — as it’s officially known — was a rush job inspired by the success of its predecessor, and frankly — it often shows.


Cast members come and go as they’re forced to attend to career and family obligations that were lined up before this season was hastily greenlit.


Scenes often seem to go on forever as producers attempt to convince us they’ve got a season’s worth of material despite the fact that we last checked in on our favorite guidos less than two months ago.



But perhaps the show’s biggest flaw these days is the fact that individual storylines often seem to be fabricated from whole cloth.


Take the ongoing “feud” between Snooki and Jenni, for example.


On social media, viewers have expressed confusion, as the main point of contention between these two seems to be that Snooki invited Angelina to Vegas — which makes little sense, as Jenni would be well aware that her friend did so out of professional obligation.


(Love her or hate her, Angelina is good for drama, a fact the show’s producers are well aware of.)



In a recent interview with Buzzfeed, Snooks basically confirmed what viewers have long suspected — there is no Snooki vs. JWoww feud.


“The last episode, nothing made sense to us because we know exactly what happened,” she said.


“Sometimes editing, they try and leave stuff out, so they make it seem like something was there that wasn’t. We’re not scripted at all. We just go in there and do our thing, but we never know how they’re going to edit it.”


Snooki added:



“We aren’t scripted. But what does happen is the editing and how it comes off. That is not our control.


“I could be mad at Angelina but they can make it look like I’m mad at Jenni. I’m like, that’s not even what’s going on.”


She went on to clarify that Jenni’s decision to head home to her family had nothing to do with the drama on the show:


“I got upset for Jenni because she left for her son, because her son had a doctor appointment, but they made it seem like she left because she was mad that I invited Joey and Angelina,”



“So Jenni is not a bully, leave her alone,” Snooki added.


“The editing really screws her up.”


Obviously, this is far from the first time that MTV’s editors have come under fire for manipulating footage.


But we hope at the end of the day, those airing their grievances understand that this is the nature of reality TV — and for the most part, viewers are well aware of that.



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Friday, March 30, 2018

Snooki: We Had to BEG to Make Jersey Shore Family Vacation Happen

By now, we’ve all seen the insane new Jersey Shore: Family Vacation trailer.


But how exactly did that come to be?


As it turns out, it’s because the cast went to the network and begged for them to make it happen.




Jersey Shore Family Vacation Still 01


in an interview with The New York Times, Nicole Polizzi, known to fans and to the rest of the world as Snooki, revealed what it took to make Jersey Shore: Family Vacation a reality.


“We basically were begging MTV to bring us back,” she admits.


It sounds like she and her castmates had to do a lot of persuading to make this happen.


“We were begging everyone to bring us back.”


A number of cast members had appeared on an informal reunion, hosted by E! a few years back.


But it wasn’t the same.


And some of them felt almost adulterous for appearing off of MTV, the network that made them famous on the original Jersey Shore.



Jersey Shore was far from the last place where fans and viewers saw their favorite orange, beach-adjacent hooligans. They’ve all made sure to appear in the public eye.


Pauly D and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro both appeared on E!’s Famously Single.


Deena Cortese showed up on Couples Therapy on VH1.


Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino showed up on the Food Network, of all places. But the show was called Worst Cooks in America.


Snooki was a contestant on The New Celebrity Apprentice, which was hosted by Arnold Schwarzenegger and didn’t last very long, as Trump fans weren’t going to watch without Trump and those who hate Trump weren’t going to watch a show on which he was still a producer.


Snooki also made a scripted appearance television appearance on the CW series, Supernatural, as a crossroads demon, though it was several seasons after the series had jumped the shark.


Then, of course, there was Snooki & Jwoww, which actually ran for a few years. That was on MTV.


MTV also experimented with giving Vinny Guadagnino his own series, The Show With Vinny. That one … did not last a few years.



There was more to making Jersey Shore: Family Vacation happen than the original cast members asking for it, of course.


The time seemed right, for a few reasons.


Though many of the cast members are still relatively young, they’re all in different stages of their lives at the moment.


And a lot of people will be interested to see if their version of partying hard has changed now that so many of them are parents.


More significantly, from the network’s point of view, is that it looks like viewers are up for seeing some absolute disasters drinking and partying on television.


Apparently the success of Floribama Shore was a factor in deciding to give Jersey Shore: Family Vacation the go-ahead.


In fact, apparently the existence of Floribama Shore generated demand to see where the original Jersey Shore crew is now.




Jersey Shore Family Vacation Still 03


Snooki shares that her husband was very encouraging when it came to whether or not she should film this television event.


“He was like, ‘Go, babe, have fun,’” she reveals. “‘Make that money. Enjoy yourself.’”


She did admit that she did have to talk herself into it.


“I had to keep telling myself, yes, you miss the kids, but you can be a bad mom for a little bit.”


We don’t really think that this qualifies as being a bad mother. Maybe if her child were with her to witness all of the shenanigans, sure.


And she set out to party.


“Go drink. Go blackout. Do what you’ve got to do.”


For the record, it’s totally possible to drink and party and even get wildly drunk without blacking out. Just … putting that out there.




Jersey Shore Family Vacation Still 02


Since The Situation is headed for prison, this special will sort of be one last hurrah for him. For a while, anyway.


But this will give fans a renewed taste of their old favorites.


MTV is a network that focuses primarily on a teenage audience, but they’ve made it clear that Jersey Shore: Family Vacation is for returning fans, too.


It’s certainly going to be one wild adventure, and it premieres on April 5th.



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Thursday, January 25, 2018

Snooki & Jionni LaValle: Marriage Troubles Confirmed Ahead of Jersey Shore Reunion

Currently, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is in Miami, filming Jersey Shore: Family Vacation with her famous frenemies.


We imagine she’s enjoying the break from reality almost as much as Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino (who’s currently facing 15 years in prison for tax evasion), as Snooki has some serious issues to face when she gets back home.



For several weeks now, reports that Snooki and Jionni LaValle are headed for divorce have been circulating non-stop on social media.


Insiders claim that Snooki and Jionni are living separate lives and have spent much of the past year simply going through the motions of a happy marriage.  


“Snooki and her husband have been having problems in their marriage,” an insider tells Life & Style.


The source adds that Snooki “thinks that Jionni is very controlling and that he doesn’t want her to work. He wants a housewife, not a working mom.”


Snooki hasn’t spoken publicly about her alleged marital issues, but Jionni recently let loose in an Instagram tirade that left fans feeling perplexed.



Apparently, LaValle wrote the post while his wife was packing for Miami.


Jionni admitted that he was upset with his wife’s decision to leave home for an extended period of time, but he also–somewhat confusingly–claimed that all is well in their marriage. 


“Hey guys, I’m going to visit this subject one time and one time only so……. My wife is filming a scene packing up and leaving for her new show and I AM CHOOSING TO NOT be on TV because I simply DO NOT like it,” LaValle wrote.


“You will not see me on her reality show. Being a reality star was never something I wanted to be when I grew up,” he added.


“We ARE not divorced. For the HATERS I hope this message finds you and confuses you even more about life and for the FANS of my wife and her show… I got your back!!!”



One insider says the real cause of Jionni’s anger is the fact that Snooki made the decision that he should stay home with the kids while she gets paid to party with her friends.


“She sees Jersey Shore as her show, and he came in after it began She doesn’t need or want him with her,” says the source.


The fact that Snooki has hooked up with Vinny Guadagnino and also has a complicated history with Sorrentino probably isn’t helping Jionni to relax.


No word yet on when Family Vacation will air.


But you can bet Jionni will be watching intently.



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Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Snooki & Jionni LaValle: We"re Living Apart, But We"re NOT Divorced!

Rumors that Snooki and Jionni LaValle are headed for divorce have been circulating non-stop several months now, because apparently a surprising number of people still care what the former stars of Jersey Shore are up to these days.


Of course, the vast majority of those people didn’t tune into the recent Jersey Shore reunion special which tanked in the ratings, but that’s a different story…



For a long time, Snooki and Jionni refused to address the divorce rumors at all, which only furthered suspicions that they were on the verge of calling it quits.


And it’s hard to see why fans were convinced a divorce announcement was in the offing.


Seemingly out of the blue, Snooki abruptly stopped posting photos of Jionni on her Instagram page.


According to Radar Online, LaValle was even absent from the family Christmas card photo.


Some Snooki aficionados proposed other theories, but everyone seemed in agreement that comething was up with the LaValles.


And it looked as though whatever it was, they would do their best to keep it under wraps for the foreseeable future.



These days, however, Snooki is more in the spotlight than at any other time since the peak of her Shore fame, which makes it all but impossible to keep a secret.


It’s universally understood that Snooks is who people are tuning in to see (if they tune in, that is), which meand Mrs. Polizzi-LaValle is even more front-and-center than her cast mates.


Yes, folks may have lost interest in The Situation’s situation, but Snooki has maintained a pretty steady social media following over the years.


As in her Shore days, much of Snooki’s appeal stems from her candor, which may be why she’s decided to finally address the divorce rumors…


…by having Jionni clear things up:


“My wife is filming a scene packing up and leaving for her new show and I am choosing not to be on TV because I simply do not like it,” Jionni wrote on Instragam this week.



That may sound worrisome, but it turns out the reason he doesn’t want any part of the scene is that he doesn’t want her to go.


“I own my own business and work hard at it, that’s what I do,” LaValle.


“My wife is a reality star and works hard at that, that’s what she does.”


He did not respond to the persistent fan question about whether or not he and Snooki are living apart, but he did insist that they’re “not divorced.”


So it doesn’t sound like it’s all rainbows and sunshine in Snooki and Jionni’s world, but it does seem like they’re trying to work things out.


Probably not the best timing for her take off on a drunken road trip with a bunch of guys she’s previously hooked up with, but what are ya gonna do?



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Friday, December 22, 2017

Snooki & Jionni LaValle: Headed For Divorce?!

When Snooki and Jionni LaValle got married back in 2014, they truly defied the odds.


No, not because of that dumb “don’t look for love on the Jersey Shore” mantra that some of Snooks’ roommates tried to make happen back in Season 1, but because of the circumstances under which their relationship began.



Usually, when romances start with one party telling the world that the other has a small penis while doing her best to cheat on him, it doesn’t bode well for the future.


Add to that the fact that Jionni bailed after just a few hours when he attempted to visit Snooki during her time in Italy, and it’s pretty clear that the smart money would have been on these two never making it to the altar.


But to the utter shock of many, Snooki and Jionni tied the knot, and they’re currently raising two kids together.


Of course, for a while now, the LaValles relationship has looked more like an amicable co-parenting partnership than an actual marriage.


And now fans are starting to suspect that the lack of romance is putting a strain on the couple.



Rumors of Snooki and Jionni living separate lives have been circulating for years.


Only in the past few months, however, have the LaValles stopped trying to hide the growing distance between them.


Fans have noticed that Jionni is nowhere to be found on Snooks’ social media page.


The couple is seldom seen together in public, and Jionni didn’t attend Deena Cortese’s wedding or any of the recent Shore reunion events with his wife.


“How come your husband is never in anything ever?” one fan recently asked on Snooks’ Instagram page.


“No more Jionni?” echoed another.



“Jionni never goes out with her and she seems to be going out a lot,” a source close to the couple tells Radar Online.


“He can’t say he has to take care of the kids because they live a few minutes away from his entire family.”


It’s not hard to see why fans are so curious.


According to Radar, Jionni and Snooki were spotted attending a comedy show together earlier this year, but they haven’t been photographed together with their kids since 2015!


Until today (seemingly in response to the latest round of rumors) the only pic Snooki had posted of Jionni in the past month was a throwback to their wedding day.


But who’s to say?


Maybe they’re one of those couples that can contentedly live separate lives and stay together for the kids.


Fans are a bit taken aback, of course, as Snooki … never struck as the unemotional type.



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Monday, August 28, 2017

Snooki Celebrates Son"s Birthday, Claims He Changed Her Life

After watching Snooki get drunk and say the craziest things for several seasons on Jersey Shore, it’s still a little shocking to know that she is now a mother to two beautiful children. 


If you watch Jersey Shore online, you will know that she was at her funniest earlier in the series and that’s because she did not care what people thought of her. 



She was a fun-loving young adult who became famous virtually overnight because some dude punched her on reality TV. The reality TV veteran’s funniest moment, however, was when she was so drunk she did not know where the beach was. 


“Where’s the beach? Where the f–k is the beach?” became a popular catchphrase after one of Snooki’s drunken rants found her getting arrested for being drunk. 



It is widely expected that Snooki’s pregnancy paved the way for the demise of the hit MTV show which was one of the show’s highest rated shows ever. 


By the end, she was not drinking because she was pregnant and it was like all of her fellow roommates had grown out of the partying lifestyle, and that happens to everyone at some point. 



With Snooki’s first child, Lorenzo turning five, she has taken to social media to confirm what many fans thought: Having a child completely changed her outlook on life. 


Let’s face it; her liver is probably thanking Lorenzo every other day because her partying days went the way of the flip phone. 


“Happy [fifth] birthday to my son who changed my life for the better,” the 29-year-old wrote.



“You are my world, and I’m so proud to be your mommy! I remember when I first laid eyes on you and knew I would protect you with all of my being until the day I die. I’m writing this, he’s gonna read this and say, ‘Thanks, ma.’ Stop growing and freaking me out!”


The cast of Jersey Shore reunited earlier this month for a reunion special that was slammed across the internet for spanning just over twenty minutes and being boring. 



What do you think about all of this?


Sound off below!


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Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Snooki & Angelina Pivarnick: Throwback Feud Alert!

To the surprise of … well, just about everyone, possibly including themselves, the stars of Jersey Shore have been back in the news lately.


Granted, it’s mostly because they starred in a Burger King commercial together, but hey, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?


Anyway, that’s probably what Angelina Pivarnick was thinking when she decided to randomly take a shot at Snooki in an interview recently published by In Touch.



Now, even if you were a fan of Jersey Shore, you might be thinking, “Who in the actual f–k is Angelina Pivarnick?” and your confusion is eminently understandable.


Angelina was removed from the cast permanently after from the house twice in as many seasons.


Fans weren’t particularly upset as Angie’s “Un, HELLO!” might be the most obnoxious catchphrase in TV history.


Pivarnick is a sad has-been even by the standards of other reality TV sad has-beens, so it’s understandable that Pivarnick is now working hard to remind the world she exists, possibly in hopes of scoring some of that sweet BK endorsement cash.


Discussing Snooki’s recent lip imjections for some reason, Angelina went off on her former Shore rival, accusing the mother of two of  stealing her style:


“She’s trying to copy my look,” Pivarnick tells the tabloid.



“It’s funny how she goes and gets her lips done at the same exact place that I got mine done. Yeah, so now all the times on [Jersey Shore] she used to call me ugly, now she’s trying to look like me.”


And if you remember Angie’s tendency to molehills into extremely irritating mountains, you won’t be surprised that she didn’t stop there:


“I don’t really think [the new lips] are doing much for her to be honest with you,” Angelina adds.


“I don’t know what the hell that’s about but, whatever. But with me, I look totally different with it, you know?”


Never one to back down from a fight, Snooki responded to Angie’s trash talk on social media:



“Damn I thought she changed.I gave her a compliment about her lips & she referred me to her doc.We’re grown adults cmon girl,” Snooks tweeted.


Because she’s been waiting for one of her former castmates to mention her in a tweet for eight years, Angie was quick to respond:


“When I tried to contact u to thank you for that u ignored me. We need to grow up and put things past us. I tried,” she tweeted.


And naturally, Snooki replied, writing:


“Sorry I didn’t get back to you. But “you tried” by talking crap about me to a magazine?  All love here, just baffled.”


Ah, it’s been a while since we witnessed a good Jersey Shore feud.


The whole thing’s got us wondering: were they always this boring?



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Friday, June 9, 2017

Snooki to Blac Chyna: You"re Turning Me Into a Lesbian!

If you follow her on Instagram you know that racy Blac Chyna selfies are a fairly regular occurence.


So her latest side-boob-heavy pic doesn’t come as much of a surprise.


Rather, it’s the hilarious celebrity cameo in the comments section that caught fans off guard.



Not surprisingly, Jersey Shore star turned unlikely lifestyle guru Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has a long history with the Kardashian clan anf their hangers-on.


Snooki feuded with Khloe Kardashian back in 2014, but they’ve since buried the hatchet.


It seems Snooks is still keeping an eye on all things Kard-related, however, as she revealed last night that she’s got a powerful girl crush on Blac Chyna.


Chyna posted the pic yesterday afternoon, but it seems Snooki didn’t discover it until late at night … after she’d had a few adult beverages.


“Stop it with these pictures I’m drunk and turning into a lesbian thanks,” Polizzi commented.



Obviously, the remark elicited dozens of responses from amused fans, most of whom simply tagged Snooki alongside a few laughing emojis.


Blac has yet to respond, but we’re sure she’d open to the idea of making Snooks’ drunken fantasies come true.


We say that not because we have any reason to believe that Blac is bisexual, but rather because she would date pretty much anything that draws breath if it meant raising her public profile.


Snooki probably wouldn’t do a whole lot for Blac’s career these days (She’s no Rob Kardashian, after all.), but word that Ms. Chyna is in a same-sex relationship with a married former reality star would certainly grab some headlines.


And that seems to be just about all Blac is expecting these days.



Following word that her reality show, Rob and Chyna, was canceled by E! after just one season, Blac has seen her social media numbers decline precipitously.


At this point, it would take something like a scandalous new relationship to get Blac back in the gossip columns.


But hey, even if her following continues to dwindle, at least she can take comfort in the fact that she’s inspiring drunken Snooki fantasies.


That’s gotta count for something. 


Right?



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Monday, October 17, 2016

Snooki: Huge and Weird Lip Injections Set Internet on Fire!

Snooki – AKA Nicole Polizzi – is going seriously overboard with her body enhancements. 


First it was those lips, and then it was Snooki’s boob job, and now we’re back to her lips … presumably because she wanted to take the attention off her chest. 



Snooks posted the above photo on Instagram with the caption, “You guys, it happened.” 


“I’m a Hot Mess Soccer Mom watching Lorenzo kick ass on the field,” she wrote.


Except that we never saw a soccer mom looking like this, and what is even happening with her upper lip?


We weren’t the only ones to notice.



Snooki took a lot of flak over the picture, and especially on Twitter.


Some of the comments included, “Forget the boobs.” 


“WTF happened to your face!! Your upper lip looks like a giant fly swatter.”  


Another simply read, “Her lips, OMG.” 


Snooki herself explained the lips away in a cheeky Twitter update. 


“I got slapped in the face by an octopus on vacation,” she wrote. 



The above photo is what those lips used to look like, the last time she said she was done with lip injections, and really it’s not so bad.  


We are talking about Jersey Shore’s Snooki, though, so you know whatever she does – or says – is only going to get bigger and more intense. 


In her final Twitter update, joking with those slamming her lips, she wrote, “Frozen lips are in, girl!”  


At least she can maintain a sense of humor over what the hell she’s doing to her face, which is systematically destroying it needle and implant by needle and implant.  


Life sure is funny when you’re Snooki, right? 



Here’s some real talk, though, girl – leave the face alone. 


Your boobs actually look just fine, and to be honest, they aren’t that much bigger than your former cup size. 


But your face?


You did your teeth, tried the lip thing, and now it’s time to stop.  


You’re gonna end up looking like something off The Real Catladies of Jersey Shore soon – co-starring Jocelyn Wildenstein. 


That thing doesn’t really exist, but somebody should get on it stat – who wants to live in a world where it doesn’t?



Good luck on the mug, girl.  


But stop before you – or your lips – get ahead of yourself, okay? 



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Friday, October 14, 2016

Snooki Reveals Boob Job Results: My Nipples Are Falling Off!

Snooki may not be as massive a star as she was at the height of Jersey Shore‘s popularity, but in one way, she’s bigger than ever.


Actually, make that in two ways.


Yes, Snooki has slimmed down considerably in the years since she stopped guzzling Ron-Ron juice on the Shore and became a mom, but as further evidence that you can’t take the Seaside Heights out of the girl, her obsession with attaining bikini body perfection continues:



Yes, Snooks has jumped on the “mommy makeover” bandwagon, which, in case you were unaware is a sort of euphemistic catch-all term for a woman with kids getting a bunch of work done.


It can mean different things for different people, and as far as we can tell the only requirements are giving birth and having sufficient funds to go under the knife for cosmetic reasons.


Amber Portwood did a mommy makeover earlier this month and she has yet to reveal what procedures were involved.


Not surprisingly, the outspoken Snooki is a bit more forthcoming, revealing that she took her guidettes to a full C-cup with a subtle boob job.



“Here they are!” Snooks exclaims in video above.


“I’m one week out of surgery so they are very crazy. My nipples are falling off.”


In the clip, Snooki (who – is it just us? – also appears to have had some work done to her face) reveals her new boobs to longtime bestie JWoww during a day of shooting for #MomsWithAttitude.


“If she doesn’t notice, I swear this friendship is over – I’m not doing this show anymore,” Nicole says, in anticipation of the big moment. “I’m walking off set.”



Fortunately, her friend didn’t let her down (though she did require a fair amount of prompting).


Snooki’s main objective in the going under the knife.


Well, naturally, she wants to “look super hot” for her husband, but she says she also wants to feel better about herself.


Apparently, it’s mission accomplished, as Snooks says she feels more “confident and complete” since having her girls enhanced.


JWoww’s been trying out some different looks of her own in recent months, but she seems to have returned to the Jenni we remember in this clip.



Hey, whatever these two feel like doing with their bodies, it’s cool with us.


They’re not seeing how many greasy losers they can hook up with on the Shore anymore, so pretty much anything they do from here on out constitutes progess.


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Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Snooki Gets Botox, Shares Painful Experience On Snapchat

No one asked, but Snooki recorded her Botox procedure on Snapchat anyway.


And now, we can"t unsee it.


Nicole "Snookie" LaValle went back to Dr. Ratmin Kassir for a lip perk-up and some Botox, according to Fishwrapper.



"Today I"m getting needles in my face," Snooki told viewers.  "Getting my first Botox in my forehead. And I"m doing a little plump in my lips, too.


Snooki first turned to the needle last August, because she wasn"t happy with her pout.


"I"ve always hated my thin lips and never thought I had the balls to get needles in my lip to perfect them but I did!" the Jersey Shore alum posted to Instagram, hoping to inspire others who are too afraid (or too poor) to get fillers.



"First session of lip plumps and it"s just fabulous. Trust me girls, I was terrified to get my first "procedure" ever done, but it wasn"t terrible at all! And I hate needles! I love my "natural beauty," but being able to enhance my lips to make me feel better about myself is life."


If you are thinking about getting your lips perked up, keep it mind that it requires upkeep.



"I had to go a couple times because you can’t just plump them up huge the first time," Snooki told toofab. "This is it. This is all I wanna do, a nice little plump, a nice top lip.


"I’m not gonna go any bigger. [But] obviously you have to keep going because they’re gonna shrink."



PS, she could also give two hoots about what you think, because their her lips, damn it, and she"ll plump if she wants to.


"I honestly don"t care what people say about me because they don"t know me.


"I always say I"m not living for them, I"m living for myself. People talk, that"s just our nature. People are a**holes, so you just gotta deal with it."


I never thought it was possible to experience pain by watching something, but I all of a sudden have a tremendous headache.



Snooki gets botox shares painful experience on snapchat

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Snooki: One Hot "Yung Mommy" In New Music Video

She"s not a regular mom.  She"s a cool, yung mom.


In her latest attempt to stay relevant, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi made a music video title, "Yung Mommy."


Polizzi reminisces about her days on Jersey Shore and how far she"s come since then.  And by that, we mean getting knocked up by her then-boyfriend/now-husband Jionni LaValle.


"I used to be so wild; I was the life of the party. Now I"m all grown up so instead, they call me mommy," she raps.


"All these dudes were hopeless but then I met Jionni."


Life is full of surprises.


The video is actually kind of fun, and Polizzi does seem to be up for poking fun at herself.  The music video features extras from Dance Moms (I made that up, but it"s a safe assumption), as well as the red solo cups that served as Shore"s staple stemware.



Polizzi also sings about "stretch marks," breastfeeding and "saggy nipples" as she dances in a leopard print bustier and black tutu.


Even the reality star herself told viewers that the video was made for a bit of a laugh.


"Hey guys, it’s Nicole—or should I say, Yung Mommy! LOL!" she wrote.


"The wait is finally over! Here it is—my music video for "Yung Mommy!" Don’t take it too seriously—it’s just meant to be fun and funny, so I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think in the comments below."


Polizzi has reiterated time and time again that the song is meant to be fun, and not a serious attempt at breaking into the record business.


"Here it is. My first music video," she posted to Instagram on July 27th,


"I"ve decided to be an ass and record a song about my life and being a mom and shoot this fun and hysterical music video to go along with it. I hope I win a Grammy for this one.


"YOUNG MOMMY, OUT."


It"s not the jam of the summer, but it could be the jam of late July?


Snooki yung mommy in new music video

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Snooki: Instagram Pic Sparks Plastic Surgery Rumors

If you’d predicted this seven years ago, there’s a good chance you’re being put on trial for witchcraft at the moment, but the good news is – you were right!


Pauly D and Snooki are still in the news in 2016.




Of course, he’s still clinging to the bottom rung of the D-list ladder because he’s dating some other forgotten relic from the early 2000s, and Snooks is still with us because people think she had work done, but hey, they’re still famous … -ish.


Anyway, we suppose it’s a testament to Snooki’s enduring popularity that she has nearly 10 million Instagram followers, many of whom are downright obsessed a pic she posted yesterday.


For most celebs, that would mean she posted a nude.


For Snooki, it just means her face looks a little different:



Okay, maybe her face looks a lot different, but no one seems to be able to put their finger on exactly why.


In fact, we haven’t seen the Internet lose its sh-t debating a photo like this since The Dress.


Some say she’s had her lips plumped.


Others just claim she’s lost an incredible amount of weight.


Very few, however, are considering the fact that people’s appearances tend to change naturally with age.


Snooki is one of few female celebs who’s really never been involved in a plastic surgery rumor, so maybe she’s just due for one?


It’s important to remember that Snooki has changed a lot since the days when she used to get drunk and dance around for our amusement like the Smithers to our Mr. Burns, and this may be the result.


Whatever she’s doing, it seems to be working.


The pic has 40,000 likes, and we counted two marriage proposals in the comments.