Some of us have already begun research on citizenship in other countries come November 3rd, 2016.
Others take more dramatic measures and exit this world entirely.
Mary Anne Noland from Richmond, VA (with whom I would have gotten along swimmingly) either wrote her own obituary ahead of time, or had a relative draw up something snappy, because even though she is no longer with us, Noland has won.
Earlier this month, the mother-of-three passed away, and her obituary was submitted to the Richmond-Times Dispatch.
“Faced with the prospect of voting for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, Mary Anne Noland of Richmond chose, instead, to pass into the eternal love of God on Sunday, May 15, 2016, at the age of 68.
“Born in Danville, Va., Mary Anne was a graduate of Douglas Freeman High School (1966) and the University of Virginia School of Nursing (1970). A faithful child of God,
“Mary Anne devoted her life to sharing the love she received from Christ with all whose lives she touched as a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend and nurse.”
The obituary was published on May 17th, and after becoming quite the viral hit, many viewers suspected the piece too good to be real.
The Times-Dispatch confirmed the obituary’s authenticity the next day.
“Paid death notices are vignettes about a person’s life, as told by their family or friends,” the article read.
“This isn’t the first time a paid death notice has been used to send a personal message to the world. Some have commented on favorite sports teams, places to visit, a drink of choice and, yes, politics.
“All content published in The Times-Dispatch is reviewed before publication.
“In the case of Ms. Noland’s obituary, we’re not surprised by the response.”
It’s important to highlight Noland’s humor rather than assuming the worst (as of press time, no one has been pushed that far Trump’s dumb dumb antics).
In fact, Noland isn’t the first of our dearly departed to entertain readers.
According to Snopes, one obituary made a last request to “please vote for Donald Trump.”
Another asked that “in lieu of flowers, do not vote for Donald Trump.”
If a jovial obituary isn’t American, then hand me that Canadian citizenship form. They’re very pleasant up there.
