Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Taylor Swift is a Neo-Nazi With Plans to Marry a Trump Son, Bizarre Conspiracy Theory Claims

Taylor Swift has reached that level of fame that no human being can really be comfortable with.



She laments the fact that she hasn’t been able to go on a drive by herself in seven years.


There are entire Facebook pages devoted to scrutinizing Taylor’s butt


Several-thousand-word thinkpieces have been written on the topic of Taylor’s squad, and leading feminists have debated whether the singer and her clique of gal pals are setting fantastic or terrible examples for young women.


Of course, Taylor is arguably the biggest pop star that the Information Age has seen thus far, so we guess a heretofore unseen level of obsession over every detail of her life is to be expected.


What no one could’ve seen coming, however, is Taylor’s popularity amongst online neo-Nazi hate groups.


Yes, for bizarre reason, modern white supremacists are under impression that Taylor is secretly one of their own, and she’s planning to wait until Donald Trump is elected president to reveal her true beliefs to the public:


“Firstly, Taylor Swift is a pure Aryan goddess, like something out of classical Greek poetry. Athena reborn. That’s the most important thing,” said white supremacist blogger Andre Anglin in a recent interview with Broadly.


“It is also an established fact that Taylor Swift is secretly a Nazi and is simply waiting for the time when Donald Trump makes it safe for her to come out and announce her Aryan agenda to the world.


“Probably, she will be betrothed to Trump’s son, and they will be crowned American royalty.” 



Uh-huh. Sounds reasonable enough if you ignore the fact that Taylor has befriended and collaborated with artists of color throughout her career, and while she keeps her political under wraps, she once told Rolling Stone that she “never saw people so happy” as when President Obama got elected.


But Anglin and his ilk (Astonishingly, there’s a Facebook page devoted to Taylor’s “fascist” beliefs that has nearly 20,000 likes.) insist that’s all just part of the long con she’s playing with America.


So how did Taylor get branded as a Nazi icon against her will?


As far as anyone can tell, it started with a Pinterest page that jokingly attributed Hitler quotes to Ms. Swift as a means of poking fun at all those historically inaccurate Marilyn Monroe and Gandhi memes that pop up in your newsfeed.


Some folks didn’t get the joke (and liked the idea of a blonde, blue-eyed icon espousing their Aryan ideals), and as is so often the case on the Internet, an absurd idea found surprising popularity.


Thus far, Taylor hasn’t even dignified this whole thing a response, and we don’t blame her in the slightest.


Here’s hoping she can just shake this one off.