Crystal Methwin Arrested for Crystal Meth, Fulfilling Her Destiny

If you wrote up this story as fiction and sent it to an editor, they"d send it right back with a stern note. Because it"s just not believable.

But police say that they arrested a woman for crystal meth.

Her name? … Crystal Methvin.

This story, to absolutely no one"s shock or dismay, takes place in Florida.

According to the St. Augustine police department, officers acted upon an anonymous tip in order to carry out this arrest.

It is unclear if the tip mentioned anything about drugs — reports say that police were told of a woman sitting in her car on the side of the highway.

When officers arrived, Crystal did not have her driver"s license on hand.

This is when police say that they found a bag of crystal meth, along with other items described as drug paraphernalia.

Officers say that they believe that Crystal Methvin was selling these drugs.

Crystal was arrested and is being held on $ 5,000 bond.

She now faces a third-degree felony charge. Yes, folks, possession of meth is illegal, even in Florida.

Douglas Nickerson was also arrested, but, for some reason, is getting less attention.

Possibly because his name is not intensely hilarious.

Obviously, crystal meth itself is no laughing matter.

Methamphetamines are stimulant drugs that can take various forms, such as powder or pills.

Crystal meth is, well, a crystalline form that resembles shards of glass (or rock candy — but please do not eat it).

By all of its various nicknames, meth is illegal, and considered part of the same class of hard drugs as heroin and cocaine.

In addition to behavioral and health issues that can result from taking the drug, it is noted for degrading the facial structure and teeth of its users.

Some people are scratching their heads over why anyone would be named Crystal Methvin.

While cruel jokes are always a possibility, there is also a decent chance that no one realized what her name could be taken to mean at the time.

After all, some people obliviously name their children after famous porn studios. It"s not malicious, it"s just … adorably naive.

Still, Crystal Methwin"s admittedly hilarious arrest has led some to wonder if she was somehow predestined (or doomed) to do meth.

Others have wondered if anyone else whose name resembles an illicit substance should be quietly reported to police.

(Please do not; your joke could ruin someone"s life)

Just another day in the busy life of Florida Woman.

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Fergie: I Hallucinated Crazy $hit While on Crystal Meth!

In promotion of her first solo album in 11 years, Fergie has opened up in a new interview about her past drug use.

And the artist has held absolutely nothing back.

“At my lowest point, I was [suffering from] chemically induced psychosis and dementia,” Fergie tells the United Kingdon’s iNews about her use of crystal meth.

This was back in the early 2000s, she says.

“I was hallucinating on a daily basis. It took a year after getting off that drug for the chemicals in my brain to settle so that I stopped seeing things.

“I’d just be sitting there, seeing a random bee or bunny.”

Wow. That’s pretty crazy and intense.

Fergie also says her weight plummeted to around 90 pounds during this time.

The artist’s hallucinations became so serious, Fergie says candidly, that she believed the CIA, FBI and a SWAT team were following her around.

She eventually sought solace in a church, the only place she felt safe and protected.

But then she had a breakthrough that probably saved her life.

“I remember thinking: ‘If I walk outside, and the SWAT team’s out there, I was right all along.

“But if they’re not out there, then it’s the drugs making me see things and I’m going to end up in an institution.

“And if it really is the drugs, I don’t want to live my life like this any more, anyway.’

“I walked out of the church; obviously there was no SWAT team, it was just me in a parking lot. It was a freeing moment.”

Fergie admits the drugs were “a hell of a lot of fun” for a period.

Until, of course, they weren’t.

“It’s so incredible, I know. I think I must have guardian angels,” the singer says of simply being alive.

Prior to this honest spilling of very personal details, Fergie made news in September for her separation from Josh Duhamel.

The stars had been married for eight years when they made this announcement and they share a four-year old son, Axl.

Early on in this interview, Fergie says she’s proud of Duhamel for directing a new movie and says the pair tries to FaceTime with their child as often as possible when on the road.

They are clearly on solid terms.

Says the singer of her estranged husband and their priorities:

“I’ve just released my first solo album in 11 years, and I’m out promoting it. So there’s a lot going on.

“That’s why we wanted to find our footing with our separation before we announced it publicly: to make sure we really got it together for our kid.

“It’s a constant juggling act.”

Considering where she’s been in the past, though, it’s something we have no doubt Fergie can figure out and make work.

Just take a look at how far she’s come.

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Crystal Hefner Breaks Silence, Addresses Husband’s Death

In the wake of Hugh Hefner’s death, nearly everyone that was close to the Playboy founder issued some kind of sorrowful statement.

Nearly everyone except the woman married to him, that is.

But Crystal Hefner has now broken her silence, two days after her famous husband was laid to rest in an intimate funeral attended by close friends and loved ones.

“I haven’t been able to bring myself to write most people back to thank them for their condolences,” Crystal told E! News in a statement, adding simply and sadly:

“I am heartbroken. I am still in disbelief.”

Hefner passed away at the age of 91 last Wednesday.

There had been rumors for several months that the publishing legend was ill, as he had not made any public appearances or posed for any pictures in quite awhile.

Hefner was buried over the weekend alongside Marilyn Monroe, an honor for which he paid $ 75,000 back in 1992.

“He is in the place he was always certain he wanted to spend eternity,” says Crystal.

Only 31 years old, Crystal has always been aware that critics believed she married Hefner purely for his money and lifestyle.

But she didn’t even bother to address those allegations in her chat with E! News. She stopped trying to convince those haters a long time ago.

“He was an American hero. A pioneer. A kind and humble soul who opened up his life and home to the world,” she says, continuing as follows:

“I felt how much he loved me. I loved him so much. I am so grateful. He gave me life.

“He gave me direction. He taught me kindness. I will feel eternally grateful to have been by his side, holding his hand, and telling him how much I love him.”

Concludes the widow:

“He changed my life, he saved my life. He made me feel loved every single day. He was a beacon to the world, a force unlike anything else.

“There never has and never will be another Hugh M. Hefner.”

On that, everyone can likely agree.

Those who attended Hefner’s funeral included Natalie Wood, Florence Henderson, Truman Capote, Eve Arden, Don Knotts, Walter Matthau, Carroll O’Connor and Roy Oribison.

The publisher’s four kids were there, too, of course.

“I join the world in mourning,” Crystal tells E! News. “I thank you for all of your condolences. To the people leaving sentiments at the front gate, we see you and grieve with you.”

Hef’s last will and testament have yet not been made public.

However, according to reports, his fortune, worth between $ 43 million and $ 110 million, is expected to go to his family and charities.

There’s been talk that he left nothing for his wife.

View Slideshow: Celebrities Who Died in 2017: In Memoriam

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Crystal Harris: Hugh Hefner"s Widow to Inherit NOTHING?!

As you’ve likely heard by now, iconic Playboy founder Hugh Hefner passed away last night at the age of 91.

Sources say Hef, as he was known to so many, passed peacefully, at home in his famous mansion, surrounded by loved ones.

Among those loved ones was Hefner’s third wife, Crystal Harris.

Hefner and Harris married in 2012, and their relationship was often a tumultuous one.

The couple was originally scheduled to tie the knot one year earlier, but Harris called off the wedding and was consequently dubbed “the runaway bride” on the cover of Playboy.

Harris returned to Hefner, and the couple eventually reconciled.

The sixty year age difference caused many to question Harris’ motives in marrying Hefner, but the model says she was never after the publishing magnate’s money.

We hope for her sake that she was being truthful in that assertion, as The Daily Mail is reporting today that Harris will receive no inheritance from Hefner’s estate.

The London tabloid claims that Harris signed an “iron clad” prenup before marrying Hefner.

As such, she’ll receive no part of his estimated $ 43 million fortune, which will instead be divided amongst his four children, the University of Southern California, and several charities chosen by Hef.

Playboy‘s popularity declined in recent years, and while he played a reduced role in the magazine’s day-to-day operations, Hefner remained the face of the brand until his death.

More important to his heirs, of course, is the fact that he retained 35 percent ownership of the Playboy corporation.

There’s no word on how that share will be passed on, but it’s believed it will be divided equally among his children.

Hefner handed off the bulk of the magazine’s operations duties to his son Marston last year.

Sources close to the situation say that Harris will be “taken care of,” presumably with a monthly stipend.

But it seems that if Crystal was hoping to never work again as a result of her marriage to Hefner, she may have been mistaken.

Check out some of the most heartfelt celebrity reactions to Hefner’s passing in the gallery below:

View Slideshow: Hugh Hefner Dead at 91: Celebrities React

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Crystal Harris Shares Bikini Photo: This is "The New Me!"

Crystal Harris got something off her chest last week.

Actually, she got two somethings off her chest last week.

As previously reported, the wife of Hugh Hefner recently took a step rarely seen in the world of Playboy, actually getting the size of her breasts reduced via plastic surgery.

Harris penned a message on Facebook titled “My Implants Slowly Poisoned Me” as a way to explain why she took this step.

While the fake boobs may have made Harris more attractive to men, they were causing serious health problems for the centerfold.

“Intolerance to foods and beverages, unexplained back pain, constant neck and shoulder pain, cognitive dysfunction (brain fog, memory loss), stunted hair growth,” Crystal wrote.

Combine these issues with “incapacitating fatigue, burning bladder pain, low immunity, recurring infections and problems with my thyroid and adrenals” and Harris had no choice but to go under the knife again.

So the woman who exchanged vows with the Playboy founder on New Year’s Eve in 2012 shared the following post-surgery photo of herself from the July 15 procedure.

She wrote that she felt better afterward, but knew she wouldn’t feel “100% overnight.”

That may still be the case, but Harris is clearly very happy with how things have turned out.

“The new me. Happier and healthier,” Harris wrote as a caption to the following bikini photo on Instagram yesterday.

She added:

“Using 2016 to reclaim my health and embrace and love myself for the real me. Thank you for the overwhelming support on my post yesterday, I love you.”

You still look great, Crystal.

But that’s not even what matters here, of course.

What matters is that Harris made a responsible decision that placed her health above her outward appearance. Gotta admire her for that, don’t you?

And it’s not as if she’s alone in choosing this path…

View Slideshow: 16 Stars Who Shrunk Their Breasts

Crystal Hefner Removes Breast Implants: Find Out Why!

Crystal Harris Hefner has gone to extreme lengths to get better. 

The wife of Hugh Hefner has had her breast implants removed because of how unwell they were making her feel. 

The glamor model has went through years of pain due to the implants and decided she’s had enough,so got rid of them. 

Hefner took to Facebook in a post titled, “My Implants Slowly Poisoned Me.”

She started her post off by letting her fans know about about the symptoms she has come up against.

“Intolerance to foods and beverages, unexplained back pain, constant neck and shoulder pain, cognitive dysfunction (brain fog, memory loss), stunted hair growth, incapacitating fatigue, burning bladder pain, low immunity, recurring infections and problems with my thyroid and adrenals.”

It all sounds pretty horrible and it will no doubt have her thinking twice about cosmetic procedures in the future. 

There are risks to any procedure, but it sure sounds like Hefner’s life was changed forever when she opted for implants. 

“I ignored it, labeling myself a hypochondriac, despite truly worrying that there was something wrong with me,” the 30-year-old explains.

“I joked about losing my memory to age, and about getting ‘lazy’. I began to cancel appointments and shoots because everything exhausted me. Before everything went downhill I was at the gym five days a week, and always shooting and working.”

It’s perfectly natural for people to ignore health issues. Sometimes you’re worried at what could be causing you to not feel that great. 

Hefner was obviously worried about the underlying issues making her feel so ill. 

The star even spoke about how difficult it has been to get out of bed some days and noted that she was depressed at being left out of everything. 

Hefner had her implants removed on July 15 and felt the benefits instantly. 

“I know I won’t feel 100% overnight,” she adds. “My implants took 8 years to make me this sick, so I know it will take time to feel better. I also have other illnesses to address, but with the toxic bags removed, my immune system can focus on what it needs to.”

“Many of my friends have implants,” she adds in closing. “I worry for their health and hope that they, and everyone, can benefit from what I have experienced.”

Hefner’s experience will no doubt make people look into the downfalls of cosmetic surgery. 

What do you think of all of this?

Hit the comments below!

Crystal Hefner Weighs In on Holly Madison-Kendra Wilkinson Beef

Crystal Hefner seemingly doesn’t love that her husband’s former girlfriends have been fighting about him.

If you haven’t heard, former Playboy bunnies Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson have been doing a lot of trash talking about their time living in Hugh Hefner’s mansion.

To say it’s gotten ugly is a gross understatement.

While Crystal did not address either woman by name, she shared a message to Twitter that pretty much sums up her feelings on the issue.

“Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore,” read the tweet.

We’ll just ignore the glaring grammar flaw and focus on the intent here.

She seems to imply that Holly and Kendra are both weak, and also stupid.

But while she insists that “intelligent people ignore,” she’s kinda choosing not to ignore the situation by sharing the post, right?

Oh, the irony.

This whole mess started when Holly told People that for her, life in the Playboy Mansion was a “constant struggle” and a “place where manipulation was used to keep everyone scrambling to keep her spot in the house.”

Kendra took Holly’s statements as a prime opportunity to bash her longtime foe in a series of nasty tweets that have since been deleted.

“Holly’s job was to get Hef hard again and clean him up with her mouth,” she tweeted.

“That bitch is in fear now knowing so many of us saw her doing some nasty s–t. She’s embarrassed and in shame. She was the clean up girl.”

“Now Holly is on cover of People mag sayin she lived in fear at the mansion,” Kendra continued. “She wasn’t in fear with that d–k in her ass for a paycheck.”

We told you it was ugly.

Holly responded by saying that Kendra “lives to demoralize and degrade” her, and suggested she try therapy.

My vote is to ignore all of these people moving forward.

Holly Madison Defends Baby Name, Zings Crystal Harris

Holly Madison is at it again, but she’s not taking Hugh Hefner to task this time. Rather, she’s defending her baby’s name … and taking a dig at Hef’s wife.

As a new mom, the 35-year-old Madison said she faced severe criticism, not because of her Playboy past, but for naming her daughter Rainbow.

“Oh, yeah. I got flooded with stupid commentary on social media,” she said. “It’s definitely a unique name. I like unique names.”

“I wouldn’t have picked it if were common. But, growing up, there was a girl in my class named Rainbow. I grew up in Oregon.”

“A lot of hippies went [there] to start families. There was a girl at school named Rainbow. I was so jealous and I wanted it to be my name.”

“So it’s definitely unusual, but it’s a name. It’s not like I called her Coffee Table. People love to say, ‘That’s a stripper name."”

“But I’ve spent a lot of time in Vegas and strippers aren’t named Rainbow. They’re named Amber, Crystal and Jessica.”

Hugh Hefner, Madison’s infamous Playboy founder ex, went on to marry Crystal Harris after Holly broke things off with him.

Intentional, subtle shade on Holly’s part?

Maybe, maybe not. But she’s not wrong about the name. No offense to Crystals across the nation and world. We still love you.

Madison, who has taken Hef to task for trying to buy her for $ 3 million and subjecting her to sick orgies, says he is not in her life now.

“Absolutely not,” Holly said. “When I left the mansion we were cordial for a while but eventually I opened my eyes to what kind of person he was.”

“We haven’t talked for years.”

Madison said she penned Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny for her daughter.

“I wanted my side of the story out there. I never had a voice. It was always shaped by the TV show or by Playboy or Hef himself,” she says.

“But I want my daughter to know why I made the decisions I did. Since writing the book, I’ve had a lot of practice defending myself.”

Talking about “the choices I made,” Madison says, has been cathartic and “good practice for discussing those decisions with her.”

As for Rainbow following in her footsteps?

“I would not be OK with it,” she insisted.

“When she is an adult, she will be able to do what she wants, but from Day One I’ve tried to raise her to know she has value.”

“She has value. Her body parts have value, and she doesn’t have to do something cheap or tawdry to get attention.”

“If she wanted to – God forbid – I would tell her my whole experience with it and I’d be honest that it wasn’t what I thought it would be.”