Kurt Warner’s got the blueprint for Johnny Manziel to make it back to the NFL … revealing to TMZ Sports the ultra-simple game plan — STOP THROWING PICKS!! Yeah, we know … enlightening stuff — but Warner’s speaking from experience! Remember…
Showing posts with label Provides. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Provides. Show all posts
Saturday, August 11, 2018
Friday, August 18, 2017
Richard Simmons Provides List, Why I"m Not Transgender
Richard Simmons broke out a list of reasons explaining why he’s not transgender … not that there’s anything wrong with that. Simmons filed new legal docs in his defamation suit against the National Enquirer listing the reasons why the tabloid…
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Britney Spears Thanks Fans for Prayers, Provides Update on Niece
Britney Spears is here to thank you and also to inform you.
The iconic singer took a moment on Instagram last night to provide fans with an update on her niece, and also to show her appreciation for all the support they have offered over the past few days.
As previously reported, Maddie Aldridge, the eight-year old daughter of Britney’s sister, was involved in a serious accident this past Sunday afternoon.
The little girl was driving around her family’s property in Louisiana on a child’s ATV vehicle when she turned to avoid a drainage ditch.
The ATV then flipped over and landed in a pond, with Maddie strapped in and facing down.
According to the police report, mother Jamie Lynn Spears and her husband rushed to save their only child, but were unable to dislodge Maddie from her seatbelt.
Fortunately, paramedics quickly arrived, broke Maddie free, performed CPR and transported her to a local hospital.
Initial reports seemed dire.
Maddie was unconscious at the scene and placed under serious but critical condition.
Both Britney’s father and then Britney herself asks everyone to please send along thoughts and prayers for their grandchild and niece, respectively.
“All I can say is pray for our baby Maddie,” Jamie Spears told Entertainment Tonight on Monday, while Britney later added:
“Need all the wishes and prayers for my niece.”
Finally, on Wednesday, the family relayed positive news to all who have been closely following this sad ordeal.
A Spears’ rep confirmed to People Magazine that Maddie has regained consciousness and was even talking to her parents.
“She is aware of her surroundings and recognizes those family members who have kept a round-the-clock vigil since the accident,” said the rep, adding:
“Maddie continues to receive oxygen and is being monitored closely but it appears that she has not suffered any neurological consequences from the accident.”
Jamie Lynn’s husband also provided the following update on social media:
“Thank you everyone for the prayers. Maddie is doing better and better. Thank y’all so much,” Jamie Watson wrote alongside a picture on Instagram of a shirt that read “believe in miracles.”
And now Britney has gone ahead and shared the note below on her Instagram page:
“We are so grateful to share that Maddie is making progress. Thank you all for sending thoughts and prayers our way. Let’s all keep praying,” it reads.
Thank goodness, right?!?
Jamie Lynn gave birth to little Maddie back in 2008, at just 16 years old.
She then more or less left the spotlight in order to focus on motherhood, often remarking over the years how worthwhile this journey has been.
Maddie was reportedly trapped underwater for two minutes as Jamie Lynn and Watson tried to rescue her before paramedics arrived.
So she may still need awhile before she is fully recovered.
But this is great news for now, a giant relief for all of us who have been concerned about the child’s well-being.
We’ll continue to keep her in our thoughts.
Friday, October 21, 2016
Lindsay Lohan Slams US Government, Provides Refugees With Energy Drinks
As erratic as her behavior has been over the years, we usually have a pretty good idea of what’s going through Lindsay Lohan’s mind.
Cocaine. The answer is usually cocaine.
These days, however, Linds is reportedly given up the Colombian marching powder in favor of a new habit:
Sources say she’s railing fat lines of the powdered milk of human kindness and gettin’ all geeked-up on compassion for her fellow man.
As you may have heard, Lindsay spent time with Syrian refugees and the experience was apparently enough to turn her into a celebrity humanitarian, a la Angelina Jolie.
Of course, this is still LiLo we’re talking about, so the whole endeavor is way more half-assed, and there’s money to be made.
Lindsay has teamed up with German energy drink-maker Mintanine to provide hand out sugary caffeinated sludge to people fleeing the Syrian civil war.
We assume the bonkers humanitarian mission will be documented on the ‘Gram, along with captions like:
“Mintanine: for when your homeland’s resources aren’t the only thing that’s depleted!”
“There’s hardly food, water or anything,” a source from Lindsay’s camp tells.
“So at this point sending anything is helpful.”
The company decribes its product as a “blue caffeine lemonade” (which is weird, because elsewhere on its website, it claims the drink is caffeine-free).
Their tagline (sadly, we’re not making this up) is, “Blue tastes woo-hoo!”
Maybe that suffers in translation.
We’re not sure “woo-hoo!” is exactly what people who have been forced to flee their war-torn homeland need, but what do we know.
In case you were worried that Lindsay is using this humanitarian crisis just to make a quick buck, fear not…
She’s also using it to show off how little she knows about politics!
Sources say Lindsay has taken to slamming the US and backing Turkish military strongman Recep Tayyip Erdogan.
Knowing that most of you came here to have a good LiLo laugh, we don’t want to get too deep in the weeds politically, but suffice it to say Erdogan is widely considered to be a bad dude, and Lindsay is widely considered to be a dumbass for supporting him.
Here’s Lindsay giving a bizarre, rambling interview on Turkish television:
Don’t mix vodka with your blue woo-hoo juice, kids.
Also a hearty LOL at Lindsay’s assertion that there’s no tabloid media in London.
Anyway, in case you were worried that Lindsay has lost sight of who she is, don’t worry…
She’s still living proof that you can take the cocaine out of the girl, but you can’t take the girl out of the cocaine. Or something.
Lindsay recently opened a nightclub in Greece called – what else? – LOHAN.
The clip above shows her screaming at the clubs patrons to STFU on opening night!
Some things will never change.
Lindsay Lohan being bonkers is one of those things.
Thursday, May 12, 2016
John Wayne Bobbitt Provides Update on His Penis
In case you were wondering what ever happened to John Wayne Bobbit, we"re happy to report that he"s alive and well, and so is his penis.
Bobbitt, who gained notoriety in the 90s after his wife Lorena sliced off his manhood with a kitchen knife, has reemerged to tell the tale of junk lost – and regained – to Steve Harvey.
After the assault, doctors were able to reattach Bobbitt"s johnson, and he went on to star in cleverly-named pornos like John Wayne Bobbitt: Uncut and Frankenpenis.
As a guest on Harvey"s "Where Are They Now?" series, Bobbitt recounts what happened after the 10 1/2-hour surgery.
After staying in the hospital for three weeks, he said he was worried that his newly repaired little John might not "work," or worse, fall off.
However, after three days, he remembers getting a "partial erection" and was so ecstatic, he called his mom.
"I called my mom," he told a stunned Harvey. "I called the hotel where my parents were and told her, "Mom, I got an erection.""
After rapper Andre Johnson severed his own penis in a suicide attempt back in 2014, Bobbitt explained that in his own case, he put his appendage on ice to preserve the tissue, which was key to his recovery.
But after the resurrection (wow, that worked out perfectly), and the success of his adult films, Bobbitt got a little peen greedy.
He said he underwent an penile enlargement, funded by shock jock Howard Stern, but sadly learned the downside of wielding a ballistic missile between your legs.
"I think I need a reduction," he said.
"I did some adult films and Howard Stern volunteered to pay for an augmentation," Bobbit explained.
"So I did an augmentation before the next film, and he filmed the augmentation for his E! channel."
We"re guessing "Bobbitt knob job" just went up in Google searches.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Kourtney Kardashian Provides Health Update on Khloe Kardashian
Khloe Kardashian isn’t exactly feeling her best at the moment.
As previously reported, the reality star had to cancel her scheduled book tour due to a staph infection she contracted as a result of sitting alongside Lamar Odom in the hospital for so many weeks at a time.
At least one subsequent report stated that the family is freaking out over Khloe’s condition.
But Kourtney didn’t sound too worried about her sister at Variety & Women’s Wear Daily Inaugural Stylemakers luncheon at Smashbox on Thursday.
“She’s good,” Kourtney told E! News at the event. “She’s OK. She’s not feeling well, but she’s OK.”
Khloe herself did acknowledge in a Tweet upon canceling the book tour that she’s “sick” and doctors have prescribed rest.
She did not mention the connection between her illness and Odom, however.
“Khloe has experienced fever, fatigue, and swollen glands,” an insider tells E! of Khloe, while another agrees that recovery is just a matter of taking it easy:
“She is run down as she has been burning the candle at both ends. She will be fine but needs some rest.”
Fortunately, this means Khloe has plenty of time to sit at home, chill out… and GO OFF on Internet trolls.
She took a few minutes out of her day this week to blast critics of her response to Odom’s health crisis, while sort of blasting Odom himself as well.
We hope she feels all the way back to her normal self soon. Love you, Keeks!
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