Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Harambe Sperm Will Be Used to Continue Gorilla"s Bloodline

As the Internet continues to debate all the things that went wrong at the Cincinnati Zoo last Saturday, we have an update on Harambe.







The 17-year old was shot and killed by a zoo employee a few days ago after a four-year old boy tumbled into his enclosure.


Following 10 minutes of the 450-pound animal thrashing all around with the boy in his clutches, officials saw no alternative but to take Harambe down with a fatal shot.


They said afterward that the use of a tranquilizer would have made the gorilla angry and the amount of time it would have taken for the tranquilizer to go into effect could have cost the boy his life.


Once again, we present the disturbing surveillance footage from the incident:



In the days since the unfortunate situation took place, the mother of the child has defended herself and thanked God her son is safe.


The Cincinnati Police Department, meanwhile, has started an investigation into both the mother and the boy’s father (who was not present at the time) to determine whether or not charges of criminal negligence ought to be filed.


This is the latest, however:


According to Cincinnati.com, reproductive biologists from the Cincinnati Zoo’s Center for Conservation and Research of Endangered Wildlife extracted viable sperm from Harambe after he died.


The center plans to use this sperm in its reproductive programs, which includes artificial insemination and genetics research.


In other words: the beloved gorilla may actually live on.


He’ll have the opportunity to father future generations of his endangered species.


“There’s a future,” zoo director Thane Maynard said during a press conference Monday. “It’s not the end of his gene pool.”


There are only 175,000 western lowland gorillas remaining in the wild. The Cincinnati Zoo has actually seen the birth of 50 gorillas overall, with the most recent being Elle. She was born in August 2015.



In somewhat related news, the world’s most foremost expert on chimpanzees has spoken out on this tragedy.


“I tried to see exactly what was happening – it looked as though the gorilla was putting an arm around the child – like the female who rescued and returned the child from the Chicago exhibit,” Jane Goodall wrote in an email to Maynard, referring to a 1996 incident in which a female gorilla picked up and handed an unconscious eight-year-old to her keepers.


She also expressed sympathy to Maynard for having to defend an action he very much did not wish to take.


“Anyway, whatever, it is a devastating loss to the zoo, and to the gorillas,” Goodall added. “How did the others react? Are they allowed to see, and express grief, which seems to be so important.”

Teresa Giudice Owes HOW MUCH in Taxes?!?

Teresa Giudice is a horrible human being.


This statement should not come as a surprise to anyone familiar with the law-breaking reality star.



But the following piece of information may take some folks aback:


Giudice and her equally terrible husband owe the United States government a ton of money in income taxes.


According to legal documents obtained by TMZ, The Real Housewives of New Jersey star was slammed with a tax lien for $ 23,365 in February, just a couple months after she got out of jail in Connecticut.


A few weeks later, Joe started his 41-month prison stint (after pleading guilty to multiple counts of financial fraud), yet still managed to get nailed in April for $ 238,269 of unpaid taxes.


According to James Leonard Jr., the family’s very busy attorney, Joe and Teresa have set up a schedule to pay off the debt in full.


So it’s not like Giudice will return to prison again any time soon.


But she will soon be returning to our lives every week on Bravo.



The network has announced that a new season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey will kick off on July 10.


As you might expect, upcoming episodes will focus heavily on Teresa’s newfound freedom, her reunion with her family and the fallout from her many months behind bars.


Each time you watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey online or on television this summer, you can expect Giudice to shed many tears over her past trials and tribulations.


All while she laughs all the way to the bank due to how much her family is now profiting off her jail stint.


What else can fans expect from Season 7? What sort of terms will Teresa be on with her co-stars?


And who are the new faces set to come on board this very successful franchise?


Check out the following trailer to find out… and pray for humanity that these people are given both a platform and a hefty paycheck for this utter nonsense:


John-David Duggar: Courtship Confirmed By Jinger Duggar!

Back in April, rumors that John-David Duggar is courting an unidentified young lady began to circulate online.



John-David was evasive when asked about his love life on Counting On, but now it seems there’s more to the story than we initially realized.


Apparently, it’s customary for courting Duggars to confide in their parents and exactly one sibling.


We don’t understand the tradition, but then, there’s a lot that we don’t understand about the Duggar way of life.


Anyway, when Jana Duggar finds herself a potential hand-holding partner, she apparently reports back to her twin John-David.


As you can see in this deleted scene from Jill & Jessa: Counting On, however, JD does not return the favor:



Yes, it seems that Jinger Duggar is John-David’s confidant, and if he wanted someone to keep his secret romance under lock-and-key, he may have made the wrong choice


“I guess people say that I know the most about John’s relationship status,” Jinger says when asked about the low-key courtship.


“My answer to that, the info I know, is ask John. It’s true. My lips are sealed.”


Sure, she didn’t technically spill the tea, but she definitely verified that there’s a secret to keep, which is almost as bad.


As for John-David, it seems he just doesn’t get what all the fuss is about.


“I don’t know why they’re so hung up on me finding a woman,” he says at one point.


Joseph quickly gets to the bottom of that mystery, saying, “It’s because he’s 26.”


Yeah, we’re pretty sure Joe hit the nail on the head with that one.


Watch Jill & Jessa: Counting On online for more courtship-related intrigue.

Barbara Evans: David Eason is Controlling Jenelle!

You would think that by now, Jenelle Evans would be used to her mother having custody of her 6-year-old son Jace. 



After all, it’s been that way for the kid’s entire life, and frankly, Jenelle seems to have her hands full with just 1-year-old Kaiser at home.


Nevertheless, Jenelle remains epically pissed off by the fact that her eldest son spends the bulk of his week living with her mother.


A recent episode of Teen Mom 2 featured a memorable scene in which Barbara knocks her daughter down a peg after learning Jenelle would be ditching her son to go on a spring break bender.


Of course, neither Jenelle nor Barbara is the type to let go of a grudge, so it looks like the wounds from their latest screaming match are still fresh.


Or maybe they’ve made up and kicked off a whole new feud.


Whatever the case, the Evans ladies go nuclear on one another in this preview for the Teen Mom 2 season finale:



“Then give him back to me,” Jenelle replies when Barbara complains that Jace hasn’t been returned to her house on time.


“I want to know: Why am I not allowed to have my son back? Why can I not have custody? Please tell me. I want to know a reason right now!”


“I’ll tell you one reason right now!” Barbara fires back.


“This guy is controlling you, and he thinks that he’s gonna take control of Jace? Nuh uh! This is between me and you and Jace, not between David. Get rid of all the crazy boyfriends Jenelle!”


“This guy,” of course, is Jenelle’s new boyfriend David.



The surprising thing is that despite Eason’s many arrests, he actually seems like one of Jenelle’s more stable boyfriends.


When Jenelle asks again why Barbara refuses to grant her custody of Jace, Babs replies:


“Because you’re brainwashing him again…That’s what you guys are putting in his f**king brain.”


This is probably the clip that recently prompted to Jenelle to complain that MTV is editing the show to make her and her family look crazy.


If that’s really the case, then that’s one hell of en editing job.


Watch Teen Mom 2 online to get caught in time for what looks like a pretty explosive season finale.