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Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Florida Man Calls 911 Over Size of Clams at Restaurant
Let’s give Florida Man credit in the following story:
At least this time he didn’t throw an alligator through a Wendy’s drive-thru window.
But he did cause a different sort of stink at a different kind of restaurant.
As documented by The New York Post, Nelson Agosto ordered a seafood meal at Crabby’s Seafood Shack in Stuart, Florida a few days ago… only to create a major raucous when the food arrived.
According to the incident report of what transpired, an employee warned Agosto about the size of the clams before he placed his order, yet he still insisted on including them in his dinner.
Fair enough.
A man is certainly entitled to eat some small clams if he so desires.
After the 51-year-old received his food, however, he whined to the manager about the exact issue the waiter had discussed: the less-than-ideal size of the clams in his meal.
“He was complaining that the clams he was eating were so small, he didn’t want to pay for them,” police spokesman Sgt. Brian Bossio said last week, per local news outlets.
The establishment responded to Agosto’s complaints by giving him another order of clams, free of charge, but this still did not satisfy the patron.
So he called 911.
In the emergency call transcript released by the police department, Agosto tells the dispatcher: “I ordered something, and it was extremely so small.”
The operator calmly replied that this wasn’t an appropriate reason to dial 911 and gave him the number for the non-emergency line.
Shortly afterward, Agosto called 911 twice more to complain about the clams, claiming he “couldn’t get through” to the alternative line given to him by the dispatcher.
When police responded to Agosto’s calls, he explained he called 911 because he forgot the non-emergency phone number after the first call, according to King 5.
Eventually, police officers arrested Agosto via summons on a misdemeanor charge of misusing 911.
“It was an arrest, but the officer did not take the guy to jail,” Bossio told a reporter.
We suppose he didn’t really deserve to spend time behind bars for this act.
But he definitely should be banned from ever eating seafood, like, ever again.
In Agosto’s’ defense, too, this wasn’t the dumbest act ever committed by a Florida resident.
Click below to see his competition:
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Tom Schwartz: CAUGHT Cheating on Katie Maloney?!
If you’ve been watching Vanderpump Rules recently, you know that in its sixth season, the show shows no signs of slowing down in terms of delivering an endless stream of drama that’s by turns appalling and wildly entertaining.
Things got off to a wild start thanks to the not-all-that-surprising revelation that Jax Taylor’s been cheating on Brittany Cartwright.
But it’s a testament to just how bonkers the entire cast is that the show’s not building its entire season around that storyline.
Aside from the inevitable boring-ass Lisa-centric storylines (If we have to listen to one more conversation about Tom-Tom investor relations…) the show has maintained a pretty livlely pace with plenty of infidelity to keep fans engaged.
Monday’s episode saw yet another cheating scandal, neither of which were terribly shocking, but both of which made for compelling entertainment.
All summer, rumors that Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz were headed for divorce circulated non-stop on social media.
And the couple didn’t do much to dispel that notion, what with taking separate vacations and seldom appearing on one another’s social media.
So it didn’t come as much of a surprise when Lala Kent accused Tom of cheating on Katie on this week’s installment of Vanderpump.
But Tom’s puzzling response to the allegation has fans confused about what exactly transpired.
“Katie and Stassi and Kristen all went to New York,” Lala explained to Scheana Marie and Ariana Madix.
“I get a phone call from my friend Allie, and she’s like, ‘La, oh my God, Tom Schwartz is here. And she goes, ‘Dude, he can’t keep his hands off of me. They made out. He was like touchy-feely.”
Naturally, it didn’t take long for word to get back to Katie, and to the surprise of absoulutely no one, she flipped the eff out.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like this mystery will be resolved in the same satisfactory fashion as the Jax-Brittany-Faith debacle.
Tom reacted to the allegation the same way he reacts to everything–by playing with his hair, acting charmingly befuddled, and claiming his boozy brain formed no memories of the incident in question.
As with the last time he was accused of making out with some rando while blackout hammered, the truth will likely remain a mystery, and Katie will eventually move on.
(And by “move on,” we mean angrily bring it up every time she’s in close proximity to a bottle of tequila for the rest of her natural life.)
What’s really weird about all of this is Lala’s motivation for spilling the tea:
“I was down for her. I was never gonna say anything. She is not safe anymore,” Lala fumed after learning that Katie had pointed out that Kent is banging a maried guy in exchange for private jet flights.
“You f-ck with my relationship, I am coming for you full force. Dude, what a dumb ass bitch. Well, her marriage is gonna end, so that’s her karma.”
So wait, you weren’t gonna tell her that her husband is cheating, and you considered that to be some sort of favor?!
Yeesh. We were actually pretty down with Lala until this season, but she’s proving herself to be the malicious, shady-ass female equivalent of James Kennedy more and more with each episode.
Watch Vanderpump Rules online to get caught up on what’s thus far been an insanely drama-packed season.
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