Network TV’s biggest hit in forever finally returned Wednesday with Empire Season 2 Episode 1, and despite impossibly high expectations, it delivered.
Picking up three months after Lucious’ arrest, Empire Season 2 Episode 1 was compelling from the opening moments to the end credits.
Mindless entertainment at its over-the-top best, the sophomore season premiere featured heavy doses of music, money, mayhem and murder.
If that’s not a recipe for greatness, then we don’t know what is.
With Empire Records in Jamal’s hands (but Lucious helping him run it from lockup), Cookie, Andre and Hakeem were less than thrilled.
Still pushing her hostile takeover strategy, her latest big idea was a #FreeLucious concert as a way to impress investor Mimi Whiteman.
Bill Clinton was also on hand, we were told – Cookie noted that “he better be if he wants his wife to get elected – but the focus was on Mimi.
Whiteman (Marisa Tomei) would buy into the company for a modest $ 250 million, then throw her support behind Cookie and her sons.
Or so Cookie assumed, and why wouldn’t throwing Mimi a lesbian-themed party that was way too sexy for network TV be the clincher?
Things looked good for the takeover, only Jamal and Lucious outfoxed them and secured Mimi’s support in an epic boardroom showdown.
Lucious got a look at the concert on TV and saw Cookie putting the moves on Mimi, put two and two together and made a better offer.
This led to one of the night’s best lines, as Cookie told Elena (who she convinced to sleep with Mimi), “You can’t even dyke right.”
And Lucious video-conference kiss off: “Game over, bitches.”
That there is why you watch Empire online if you don’t have it recorded already, but it was far from the only development of the evening.
When the Lyons’ former drug kingpin Frank Gathers (Chris Rock) showed up in jail, Lucious knew he had a major situation on his hands.
Cookie snitched on Frank to secure her early release, and her cousin caved pretty quickly, revealing Cookie’s betrayal to her former boss.
Naturally, she received a f–king head in the mail. Possibly her cousin’s.
It wasn’t entirely clear who the severed dome belonged to, but Cookie paid a stylish, outrageous visit to Lucious in jail to make things right.
First, he tried to quash the beef sans killings: Empire would sign Gathers’ daughter to a record deal in exchange for peace. Frank passed.
Gathers offered to spare Lucious and only off Cookie. Lucious passed.
Unable to come to terms, Lucious struck. Just as he had done with Mimi, he secretly made Frank’s thugs a better offer to win their loyalty.
He then casually had Frank killed. Not too clandestinely, either … are there no guards? Cameras? Little bit of a plot hole there, Empire.
We’ll forgive it, though, thanks to Lucious’ ultimate pre-murder burn: “I’m gonna sign your baby girl and I’m gonna slip her my bone.”
Elsewhere in the land of Empire Records and its insane associates:
- Hakeem rides around on a hoverboard (randomly hilarious).
- Hakeem hates Jamal being in charge (predictable).
- Andre is losing sleep over the fact that he, too, is a murderer (RIP Vernon), while Rhonda is pregnant with their first child (a son).
- Jamal is the epitome of angst, whether he’s dealing with his ex, his siblings or his mother, who got in a few good whacks at his face.
- The Lyon boys were killing it at the concert as always.
In conclusion … Is it next Wednesday yet?!
Here is your first look at Empire Season 2 Episode 2:
