Showing posts with label Lohan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lohan. Show all posts

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Lindsay Lohan: Where Were These #MeToo Stories When I Was Abused?!

Hey, remember a hot minute ago when Lindsay Lohan rushed to Harvey Weinstein’s defense, shamed his wife for leaving him, and suggested that because Weinstein had never assaulted her, these multiple other actresses must be lying?


That was what you call a “bad take.”


Well, Lindsay isn’t done commenting … unfortunately. 



We remember Lindsay Lohan’s history with domestic violence all too well. As with so many aspects of Lindsay’s life, she deserved so much better.


There was an alarming photo of Lindsay’s injured leg shared early in 2016 along with a somewhat cryptic message.


At the time, the world didn’t even know which person she was vaguely alleging of having done it.


It wasn’t until months later that Lindsay Lohan finally accused Egor Tarabasov of domestic violence.


Alarmingly, she said at the time that no woman should stay with a man who hits her if he refuses to apologize, as if abusers don’t apologize all of the time and as if an apology for something so vile could change anything.


But fans from all around the world read the harrowing tale. Lindsay, who had already been so much — from her awful parents to her child stardom — should never have had to endure domestic abuse.


No one should.


Fans only grew more worried when Lindsay Lohan sported a tremendous bruise on her arm around that same time.



And all of this was after Lindsay cried out for help after Egor allegedly tried to strangle her.


She revealed that she ultimately realized that you can’t stay in a relationship just for love, and she’s absolutely right.


That is why fans were so, so disappointed in Lindsay Lohan’s response to the Harvey Weinstein scandal. At first, you remember, he was accused of being a serial harasser.


That was before women came forward and accused him of being a serial rapist, as well.


But sexual harassment is a big deal all on its own. And it impacts millions of women every single day.


Many fans were crushed by Lindsay’s support of Weinstein.


(When his own wife leaves him, maybe it’s well past time to give him the benefit of the doubt)


Just because Weinstein had never invited Lindsay, personally, to come and shower in front of him isn’t exactly proof that he never did that — or worse — to other women.



Apparently, Lindsay Lohan saw the reactions as accusations that she isn’t pro-woman.


And, yeah, that was at least part of the response.


She posted and deleted a defense of herself … and included a very accusatory tone.


Her initial caption read:


“Whatever anyone says, I am FOR #womenempowerment as if most women in America cared how I was abused by my exfiancé… when not one person stood up for me while he was abusing me…”


She seems to be ignoring countless people who posted concern for her and condemnation of her (now former!) fiance.


(I know that I certainly wrote about it at the time)


“You could only imagine what it feels like to come out as a #strongwoman BUT, acknowledge this, we all make our own choices and wake up in our own beds in the morning.”


That line does not make much sense. At all.


“I prefer to go to my home and wake up alone. #BESTRONG let us not blame anyone as #karma will always takes its toll. #womensrights”


Note that her first hashtag reads “be strong,” not “best rong.”


So … Lindsay spiraled into incoherence in a way that we normally expect from people who are still mastering English and are not native speakers.


But you know what? Anyone can find that their thoughts didn’t quite translate to paper.



In any case, Lindsay Lohan deleted that original caption and replaced it.


The Mean Girls star and tabloid legend has changed her tune … up to a point.


At the very least, she’s much more succinct and no longer seems to be trying to shame the women of America.


“Whatever anyone says, I am FOR #womenempowerment #strongwoman #BESTRONG #karma will always takes its toll. #womensrights”


We guess that, to Lindsay, she saw a fan response but not a massive movement that she now sees in the wake of the Weinstein scandal.


Maybe that rubbed her the wrong way. Maybe she was just being defensive and trying to deflect.


Honestly, we don’t even know if poorly Lindsay herself could tell us why she says some of the things that she does. Let’s cut her some slack.


Remember that, in her own way, Lindsay is sharing a #MeToo story.



“Whatever anyone says, I am FOR #womenempowerment #strongwoman #BESTRONG #karma will always takes its toll. #womensrights”



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Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Lindsay Lohan Defends Harvey Weinstein: His Wife Should Stand By Him!

Since news broke of Harvey Weinstein being accused of sexual harassment, there have been a number of truly bad takes on it. Donna Karan blamed the victims, wondering if they were "asking for it" by … existing as women, or something.


Others have tried to politicize the scandal because of Weinstein"s history of being a political donor — which, like so many political attacks, is an absurd reach.


But the worst response of all to the myriad of accusations against Harvey Weinstein might have come from Lindsay Lohan. And we have the now-deleted video.



Oh no, Lindsay Lohan.


As we all know by now, Harvey Weinstein has has been accused by multiple women of sexual harassment. From creepy propositions for which he promised to boost their careers to an alleged fondness for exposing himself to reluctant or downright unwilling women, the stories were gross.


And these allegations came on the heels of decades of rumors. It"s pretty clear that it was an open secret, but that he had too much power in Hollywood for people to move against him.


That"s almost as chilling as his alleged actions.


Then came the report that Harvey Weinstein raped at least three women. There are audio recordings of him coaxing one actress to sit and drink and watch him while he showered.


He"s been fired from his own company and condemned left and right, even by people who had once remained silent.


In the wake of this scandal, Georgina Chapman is leaving Harvey Weinstein after 10 years together. The couple has two young children, and Georgina Chapman says that she is putting her role as a mother first.


She also asks for privacy at this time, which makes a lot of sense. We can"t imagine how you"d try to explain what"s happening to a couple of young children.



This is, unfortunately, where Lindsay comes in.


In the now-deleted video that you"ll see below, Lindsay Lohan speaks in a voice that — and we don"t say this to be mean — is a little difficult to understand.


"Hi, I’m in Dubai….I feel very bad for Harvey Weinstein right now. I don’t think it’s right what’s going on."


You know what, as judgey as I am about anyone vacationing in Dubai (they have medieval laws; look at their cool buildings on the internet but don"t give them money), that pales in comparison for someone having actual human sympathy for Harvey Weinstein in light of all of the current news.


Lindsay puts up an angelic emoji with the name "Harvey," which is — in the context of what we"ve been hearing this week — enough to turn your stomach.


And her statements get worse:


"Georgina needs to take a stand and be there for her husband."


That"s right — somehow, Lindsay thinks that Georgina Chapman is doing the wrong thing by removing herself and her children from the presence of an accused sexual predator.


And then you start to realize why Lindsay appears to believe that Weinstein is innocent, as she states:


"He"s never harmed me or did anything to me. We"ve done several movies together. I think everyone needs to stop; I think it"s wrong. So stand up."


The old he-didn"t-do-it-to-me line isn"t exculpatory. Maybe he liked Lindsay as a person or maybe her career was already strong enough that he didn"t want to make a move. Or maybe she wasn"t his type.


If so, it sounds like Lindsay must believe that there"s some vast conspiracy against Harvey Weinstein for literally no good reason. Or maybe she hasn"t put that much thought into it.


As with Kanye West declaring "Bill Cosby innocent!" on Twitter, this looks like a case of someone"s judgment being impaired by paranoia … or something.



We guess that it"s no real surprise that she"s still supporting Weinstein.


Lindsay Lohan is a sweet girl, but she has a disturbing history of defending at least one other famous wealthy man who"s been accused of sexual assault by multiple women.


Actually, one in the past had even bragged about it in an infamous recording.


Lindsay Lohan has defended Trump, calling criticisms of him and his administration "bullying," so in that context, it isn"t a real surprise that she"d also defend Weinstein.


But it"s still sad. Lindsay might not be the out-of-control party girl that she was a decade ago, but she still seems so lost.



But we need to be fair to Lindsay Lohan.


Rose McGowan, one of Harvey Weinstein"s most relentless critics (she is a treasure, you guys) has tweeted, asking people to not be too harsh on Lindsay Lohan.


"Please go easy on Lindsay Lohan. Being a child actor turned sex symbol twists the brain in ways you can’t comprehend."


Rose makes a very fair point, there.


And we know that we said that Lindsay"s was the worst take on this situation, but Sebastian Gorka, accused member of a European Neo-Nazi organization and former White House advisor to Donald Trump, tweeted something even worse:


"THINK: If Weinstein had obeyed @VP Pence"s rules for meeting with the opposite sex, none of those poor women would ever have been abused."


He"s referring to Mike Pence"s much-lampooned unwillingness to be around women without his wife present, even at something like a working lunch. 


So this particular take, which suggests that Georgina Chapman is somehow responsible for her husband"s behavior because they were both individuals, is worse than Donna Karan"s initial statement or Lindsay Lohan"s or the two combined.


Sexual assault happens because a person is a predator. Not because he lacks a babysitter.


Anyway, take a look at Lindsay Lohan"s worrisome video for yourself:


Lindsay lohan defends harvey weinstein his wife should stand by
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Friday, October 6, 2017

TMZ Live: Lindsay Lohan: Senator Takes Drunk Dig

ON TODAY’S SHOW Nene Leakes At War With Kim Zolciak! Music Festivals: Future Threats Of Violence Donald Trump Mocks Puerto Rico  Sheryl Crow: Gun Laws Need To Change 


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Lindsay Lohan, Senator"s Snarky Drunk Dig to Trigger Lawsuit

Michael and Dina Lohan plan to sue a U.S. senator who conjured up Lindsay’s drunken past to lash out at a CEO. The incident went down at a congressional hearing Wednesday as the Senate Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs Committee grilled…


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Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Lindsay Lohan Stuns Fans, Sparks Plastic Surgery Rumors With "New Face"

Lindsay Lohan has gone through a number of changes over the years.


We’ve seen her transform from a Disney child star to a tabloid trainwreck to a Angelina Jolie aspirant who might also be a spy for the Turkish government.


While her latest metamorphosis might not be as bizarre as that last one (Seriously, how is there not more talk about her possible espionage?), it’s still throwing fans for a loop:



That’s LiLo at a Madrid Fashion Week last night, and as you can see, she looks a little … different.


Lindsay’s face has changed almost as much as her persona over the years, but never this quickly in this short a period of time.


Naturally the plastic surgery rumors are have been flying fast and furious on social media in the hours since these pics went public.


Lohan’s fans are hoping she’s just the victim of some botched temporary filler work, while her detractors …


… Well, her detractors are having a bit of a field day.



“OMG like wtf. what is wrong with lilo’s face??” one fan tweeted.


“I am literally on my knees praying for lindsay to not let another needle near her face,” remarked another.


The consensus seems to be that Lindsay went under the needle, not the knife, and thus, her face should eventually return to normal.


Evan so, the social roasting has been particularly brutal:


“OK question for lindsay. are you making that face on purpose or is that eyebrow the result of bad botox?” wrote one Instagram follower.


“omg that brow tho. maybe it’s just me but I think 31 is a little too young for all these fillers,” commented another.



Not surprisingly, the actress (if we can still call her that) has yet to respond to the rumors about her transformation.


This isn’t the first time rumors about Lohan getting plastic surgery have circulated online, but we’ve never been confronted with such clear visual evidence.


Here’s hoping Lindsay will cool it on the fillers going foward.’


That Mean Girls sequel is never gonna happen if Cady’s face is frozen in a permanent expression of horror.


(It’s never gonna happen anyway, but we like to offer LiLo some encouragement from time to time.)



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Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Lindsay Lohan: Come On! Stop Bullying Donald Trump!

Lindsay Lohan and Donald Trump have a lot in common.


Both have appeared in movies. Both are considered mentally unstable by a wide swath of well-informed individuals.


And both have been on their knees in front of powerful Russian men over the past year or so.



Lohan, of course, was engaged to Egor Tarabasov for a number of months before that relationship ended on a very sour note… while Trump and Vladimir Putin are friends with many mysterious and frightening benefits.


So it makes sense overall that Lohan would be a pretty big fan of the Commander-in-Chief.


She’ll need someone to executive produce her Russian Netflix series, after all, and Trump may very well soon be in search of a new job.


The troubled actress therefore came to the defense of Trump after someone Tweeted an image of a Breitbart article in which the President said he would be “delighted” to assist Charlie Gard, a critically-ill British baby that the European Court of Human Rights determined was too sick to help with experimental medicine.


Critics acknowledged this was a nice gesture by Trump, but also a rather hollow one.


It’s difficult not to see some irony in Trump’s Gard Tweet when juxtaposed with a health care plan he supports that would take insurance away from 22 million people.


“THIS IS our president,” Lohan Tweeted on Monday in response to the negative attention Trump often received.


She added: “Stop #bullying him & start trusting him. Thank you personally for supporting #THEUSA.”




Lindsay Lohan tweets


As you can see abive, Lohan went on to praise the First Family – including First Lady Melania Trump, daughter Ivanka Trump and son Donald Trump Jr. – as “kind people.”


She also asked a profound question as part of her timeline:


“As an American, why speak poorly of anyone?”


That’s a good and fair question. Perhaps she ought to direct it to Donald Trump.


This isn’t the first time ex-Mean Girls star has stood up for the President, either.


During a Facebook Live Q&A session for the Daily Mail in February, she urged Americans to “join” the man who wants to beat and bludgeon reporters.



“I think always in the public eye you’re going to get scrutinized,” she said at the time, adding:


“He is the president – we have to join him. If you can’t beat him, join him.”


Kevin Durant may appreciate and agree with that sentiment, but many lawmakers out there likely read Lohan’s words with a puzzled look on their faces, asking:


Okay, sure. That’s great. But what if we can beat back his wildly legislation? Do we still need to join him?


Back in 2004, Trump spoke to Howard Stern about Lohan.


He agreed with the shock jock’s assessment back then that Lindsay was “hot,” delving deeply into the reason why.


“There’s something there right?” said Trump to Stern. “But you have to like freckles. I’ve seen a, you know, close up of her chest and a lot of freckles.


“Are you into freckles?



This at least explains why Lohan likes Trump so much.


This and what we hinted at strongly at the outset of this post:


Both stars have sucked a great deal of Russian penis.


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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears & Paris Hilton: Epic Reunion in the Works?!

Back in 2007 — which we’re told wasn’t 3 years ago but in fact 10, somehow — Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan had some outrageous misadventures that were impossible to ignore.


Well now it sounds like the dream team is coming back together!



Lindsay Lohan’s birthday party is coming up, and yesterday, she tweeted out this invite with some very recognizable Twitter handles:


“#nicegirls @britneyspears @parishilton come to #mykonos for my birthday this weekend @Beyonce you too”


Beyonce being thrown in there is adorable, but you know what? We’d invite Beyonce to our parties, too.


Keep in mind that this is the same wonderful, terrible trio that brought us Britney’s infamous crotch shot photo and so many more.


This was all, of course, before Britney shaved her head and went through the “descent to the underworld” portion of the archetypal hero’s journey, suffering for the world’s transgressions and then being reborn, more powerful than ever.


It was also before Lindsay Lohan started getting help for her issues. Since then she’s taken a lot of strides herself.


And we’re honestly so proud of her for that.


Paris is and always has been herself, though we’re not sure that she’s ever been truly out-of-control, you know?


The more that you read about Paris Hilton, the more carefully crafted her public image and persona begins to seem.



Plenty of us regular folks invite friends to events over Twitter.


Realistically, though, most celebrities — especially on the level of Britney, Beyonce, Lindsay, and Paris — aren’t going to be making serious plans over a very public social media platform.


Sincere invites are over text messaging or even through assistants, depending on a bunch of factors.


Maybe Lindsay decided to make some sincere invited public, we don’t know.


(Though the grim reality is that Beyonce is too busy with baby twins to go out partying)


(And we somehow don’t picture her calling Becky With The Good Hair to babysit)



So … it’s entirely possible that none of these ladies will show up.


(Tragic)


It’s entirely possible that Lindsay doesn’t expect any of them to.


Beyonce is busy being a mom.


Britney’s also a mom, and hey, isn’t she still touring in Asia?


(That’s rhetorical; Britney is absolutely still touring in Asia)


Though Paris Hilton might always attend. You know, for some reason.



That’s kind of her brand.


No, but for realsies, Paris HIlton has always had a great sense of humor and is way smarter than you might think.


Remember in the 2008 election (remember when that seemed contentious?) when the McCain campaign ran an ad comparing Obama’s popularity with Britney and Paris?


Paris responded with a sarcastic video and then a full music video titled “Paris for President.”


It was kind of the best.


She also played herself — well, a shapeshifted deity that had assumed her form — on Supernatural, back when that show was watchable.


And as far as we know, she’s never raised any objections to the bag merchant NPC in World of Warcraft named Haris Pilton.


Accepting parodies and participating in self-parodies is a clear sign that someone has a great sense of humor and probably isn’t that uptight about people insulting their public persona.


So we super, super hope that she takes Lindsay up on her offer.



Come on, Paris. Do it.


For old times’ sake.


We’re sure that it’ll be a blast, even if we don’t know if Lindsay will have any alcohol on the premises for obvious reasons.


Oh, do you think that Paris will bring her dreamy boyfriend Chris Zylka?


The world’s been kind of obsessed ever since back when he was wearing V-necks on The Secret Circle (making them both CW stars in their own ways), but we wonder if he knows Paris’ old crew at all.


Honestly, you have to love these three ladies.


Through all of their ups and downs, they’ve never stopped being entertainers.


They’ve given us so much.


And they really have suffered for that.


Here’s hoping that, no matter the guest list, Lindsay’s party is a blast.


(But not in a way that threatens, um, anyone’s sobriety)



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Monday, June 12, 2017

Lindsay Lohan Stole Thousands in Jewelry From Ex-Boyfriend, Remains Lindsay Lohan

2016 was a magnificent year for alliances between Russia and carrot-colored pop culture relics from bygone decades. Yuuuuge, really.


Unfortunately, some of those partnerships have since fallen on hard times.


It was around this time last year that Lindsay Lohan broke up with Egor Tarabasov, the Russian heir who was supposed to revive her career and turn her into the Grace Kelly of Putin country.



When Lindsay and Egor first began dating, it seemed like a match made in heaven.


Like the nation Egor hails from, Lindsay consumes several million liters of vodka each year and has been the subject of a number of international espionage allegations.


All LiLo and Russia jokes aside, it’s good that Linds was able to get out of her relationship with Egor, as it seemed deeply unhealthy for both parties.


Cheating and abuse allegations were leveled by both sides, and a seriously ugly fight between Lindsay and Egor that was captured on video underscored exactly how explosive the situation had become.


But despite the fact that Linds and Egor are nearing the one-year anniversary of their high-profile breakup, they remain inextricably enmeshed in one another’s lives.



According to Radar Online, Lindsay is currently the subject of three separate investigations involving her alleged theft of tens of thousands in property from Egor.


Sources close to the situation say Lohan was nearly arrested last month on suspicion of stealing over $ 30,000 in belongings from Tarabasov’s home, including a Rolex watch and several pieces of jewelry.


“Egor had been chasing Lindsay for months for the return of his personal belongings, but to no avail,” says a source close to the situation.


“In the end, he felt he had no choice but to go to police and formally accuse her of theft,” the insider adds.



“Lindsay had been in and out of the country, so police initially struggled to pin her down to be interviewed.”


The source claims that it was only by threatening to throw Lindsay in jail that authorities were finally able to get her attention:


“They finally got through to her after sending an email to her publicist, threatening Lindsay with arrest,” the insider says.


“It is fair to say there is no love lost between the two.”


Not surprisingly, Lindsay’s people say it was all a misunderstanding and that she’d simply borrowed some items from Tarabasov’s home and forgotten to give them back.



“Once we were informed and back in the country we happily found the belongings and gave them back. I wish the best for him and hope he can move on in his life,” said a rep for Team Lindsay in a statement issued last week.


We’re not sure who to believe, but the important takeaway here is that involvement with Russian oligarchs can lead to some messy legal situations.


If you know anyone who could benefit from that information, please tweet it along to them.



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Friday, June 2, 2017

Lindsay Lohan Launches Jewelry Line, Continues Trying to Make Career Happen

She may not make quite as many tabloid headlines as she used to, but Lindsay Lohan recently entered an interesting new phase in her career.


Apparently deciding that she’s done with Hollywood about a decade after Hollywood decided it was done with her, LiLo has launched a number of new projects that range from baffling to highly illegal.



In the latter category, we have Lohan’s work for the Turkish government.


You read that correctly: Lindsay freakin’ Lohan has spent several months as a paid agent of the Erdogan regime.


That means she’s getting checks from the same folks who paid disgraced former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn.


Like Flynn, LiLo probably didn’t register as a foreign agent before accepting the gig, but fortunately, federal prosecutors have something in common with casting directors:


Neither group appears to have any interest in Lindsay Lohan.



As part of her continuing effort to rebrand herself as a Jolie-esque citizen of the world, Lindsay is also planning to write and direct a series about Russian oligarchs that she plans to pitch to Netflix.


Should be a breakaway hit.


After all, there are two things America loves in 2017: rich, crazy Russians, and ambitious new projects from Lindsay Lohan.


On top of all of this international intrigue, it seems Lindsay has yet another business venture in the works.


Page Six is reporting that Lindsay is launching a jewelry line sometime in the next few months.



If the words “Lindsay” and “jewelry” in the same sentence send shivers up your spine, there may be good reason for that.


Lindsay was arrested for shoplifting after stealing a necklace in 2011.


Coincidentally, that was the same year that she attempted to launch her first jewelry line with the help of designer Pascal Mouawad.


You might think that would be enough to keep Linds away from the baubles biz for life, but at the same time, it’s been a while since she last received that sort of attention from the tabloid press.


Maybe Lindsay is planning to go on another crime spree as a means of researching her new business.



Just be glad she didn’t decide to simultaneously enter the worlds of top shelf tequila and sports cars.


People in the Greater Los Angeles are already have to check the news for LiLo alerts before they leave the house.


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Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Lindsay Lohan is Writing a TV Show About Cool Russians, Apparently Doesn"t Watch the News

No one has ever really claimed that Lindsay Lohan has her finger on the pulse, so to speak.


We’re sure she’s taken her own pulse to gauge her overdose proximity on more than one occasion, but even at the height of her fame, Linds wasn’t exactly the kind of star that you look to to find out about the hottest cultural trends.


She’s more the type you look to if your connection just dried up and you’re starting to get the sweats.



Anyway, all of this is to say that Lindsay isn’t exactly a walking NPR, and living abroad for most of the past two years doesn’t seem to have done much to broaden her horizons.


Despite the fact that she has no experience behind the camera, and Hollywood has been spent the past decade treating her like she has a visible case of ringworm, and her knowledge of our geo-political is probably on par with that of an unusually bright ferret, Linds wants to try her hand at writing and directing a series about the fraught relationship between the US and Russia.


“She was saying she’s writing it with a partner for Netflix,” a source close to Lohan tells Page Six.


“And that they’re writing it every day while she’s in town. She described it as being about ‘Russian oligarchs’ — three princesses, and covering different ages.”



“She plans to act and co-direct or direct, but said she hasn’t decided yet.”


The source says that Lohan also described the show as “kind of like [Netflix series] ‘The OA,’ ” adding:


“She was saying she’s going to Moscow to see some of the people that are working on it with her.”


Now, to be clear: we’re not saying Russia should be off-limits in terms of stories being produced in Hollywood.


After all, The Americans has consistently been one of TV’s sharpest dramas for five seasons now.



But there are several key differences between Lindsay’s project and the acclaimed FX series:


For one thing, The Americans isn’t written by Lindsay Lohan.


We say that only partially in jest.


Lindsay has no professional writing experience, and as far as we know, she’s never even expressed an interest in putting pen to paper, so a full television series about life in a country that’s making daily headlines might be a bit ambitious for her first project.


On top of that, Linds might be a little too close to the source material.



Until recently, Lindsay was engaged to a rich Russian, and to the surprise of literally no one, it ended badly.


She might think this makes her just the person to write about the life of wealthy Mucovites.


She would be wrong.


On top of that, Lindsay might not want to remind the world about her own experience with international intrigue.


Lindsay did some work for the Turkish government recently, and both parties tried and failed to keep their arrangement on the down-low.



As General Michael Flynn is frequently being reminded these days, accepting money from a foreign government, but not registering as a foreign agent is actually kind of a big deal.


We know that Turkey and Russia are two different countries, but Linds might want to downplay her role as a latter day Carmen San Diego until this thing blows over.


Not surprisingly, Netflix has declined to comment on Lindsay’s planned project, so it’s possible that this show will only appear on a piece of cardboard that’s decorated to look in LiLo’s living room.



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Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Lindsay Lohan Says She"s Back & Better Than Ever, World Disagrees

Lindsay Lohan has been having quite a time lately.


That used to mean she’s been hitting the clubs and living up the nickname Blohan, but these days it means something quite different.



Lindsay is in the process of reinventing herself as the poor man’s Angelina Jolie, and it seems becoming a respected humanitarian isn’t as easy as she had hoped.


For one thing, Lindsay has a difficult time distinguishing the good guys from the bad.


(Note to other aspiring philanthropists: Don’t become a Turkish spy.)


Adding to the difficulty is that charity work and raising awareness of important issues seem to be Angie’s top priorities, whereas Linds is still awkwardly trying to climb the Hollywood ladder.


Her latest effort takes the form of a weird reality prank show that sounds like it basically just recreates the crappy experience of losing your phone.



The series is called The Anti-Social Network, which would’ve been a great joke in, like, 2010.


In it, Lindsay Lohan takes control of contestants’ social media pages and ruins their lives for cash.


Obviously, Lohan is a bizarre choice for the gig, as she’s not a comedian, and her only experience with reality TV is a limited series that documented her own downward spiral.


But the promotional materials promise Lindsay is “back and better than ever.”


Feel free to file a false adverting lawsuit any time.



“I love social media,” Lindsay says of the show.


“I mean, I am social media. Everybody knows you should never leave your phone lying around, especially near me,”


Yes, Lindsay Lohan is social media.


Also, Lindsay Lohan steals stuff, which we already knew, but it’s good to hear her finally admit it.


If, for some reason, you’re dying to watch the The Anti-Social Network, you may be out of luck.



It’s a British production, and it currently doesn’t seem there are any plans to air it in the States.


We’re sure your devastated.


But don’t worry, the show is just one part of Lindsay’s multi-faceted plan to jumpstart her ’89 Ford Pinto of a career.


Hilariously, Lindsay wants to star in a live-action Little Mermaid remake, which is so never happening, but it’s fun to see her keep trying.


Plus, she’s probably acting as an unregistered foreign agent for the Turkish government, so you might get to watch a whole fun trial in the very near future!


Neat!



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Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Lindsay Lohan: I"m a Victim of Racial Profiling!

Now that Lindsay Lohan has gone from coke to #woke, she’s pursuing the life of an attention-starved, self-congratulatory humanitarian with the same reckless abandon she applied to consuming all of the world’s uppers.


We suppose it’s a step in the direction, as in her new lifestyle, there’s a chance LiLo might help someone who’s not a dealer, but she clearly wants to go from 0 to Jolie overnight, and she hasn’t put in the due diligence.


Lindsay’s lack of research has already led her into situations where she might be unwittingly spying for the Turkish government



One would think she might have learned her lesson from that little international incident in the making, but apparently not.


Lindsay is still sounding off on topics of which she has little understanding, and her misguided attempts at becoming an international peacekeeper are usually innocuously funny (see: her Lisa Frank notebook-worthy poem about ISIS), but they could end up doing real harm.


Lindsay appeared on Good Morning Britain today, because apparently the people who still give a sh-t what Lindsay Lohan have all migrated to the U.K., and Piers Morgan is one of them.


Lindsay claims she was racially profiled in at JFK airport, because she doesn’t understand what the word “racial” means.


In case you’ve recently eaten and can’t stomach Lindsay’s fake accent or the sight of the blathering albino bullfrog that is Piers Morgan, here’s what Linds had to say about her experience as an oppressed minority:



“When I was flying to New York recently I was wearing a headscarf and I got stopped at the airport and was racially profiled for the first time in my life.


“[The agent] opened my passport and saw Lindsay Lohan and started apologizing but said, ‘Take off your headscarf.’ I mean, it’s OK. But what scared me was that moment, how would another woman who doesn’t feel comfortable taking off her headscarf feel?


“That was really interesting to me. I was kind of in shock. It was strange… I’m from New York, born and raised. I was a little intimidated.”



When pressed about why she wears a headscarf if she’s not converting to Islam, Lindsay confusingly claims it wasn’t a religious thing at all, and she was just “covering up” in the style of Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly.


Yes, because nothing makes you more inconspicuous in Donald Trump’s America than dressing in what appears to be Muslim garb in a New York airport.


Here’s the thing:


Even if Lindsay were singled out because of her faith, it wouldn’t be racial profiling, it would be Muslim profiling, which is a real and frightening issue, and one that Lindsay undermines by claiming she’s a victim because she had an 8-second eschange with a TSA agent.



We hate the “actors should stick to acting” argument, but we believe all public figures should inform themselves before speaking publicly on important issues.


We’re not sure what Lindsay’s endgame is here, but she’s certainly not making anything better or easier for Muslims in America, and she needs to take a few dozen seats until she’s better informed on the issue.


Also, she can’t really stick to acting, because, well … when was the last time you saw her acting in something?



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Monday, February 20, 2017

Lindsay Lohan To Disney: Please Hire Me!

Lindsay Lohan’s career has been pretty much non-existent for quite a few years now, but that does not mean she’s not trying to find herself some work. 


When she’s not posting ominous pictures and stories on Instagram, she’s taking aim at big movie studios to pitch some ideas for their next big hits. 



Hey, she has to pass the time. 


Lohan took to Instagram to express her hope that Disney would hire her to sing as Ariel in a potential reboot of The Little Mermaid. 



“I will sing again, as #ariel #thelittlemermaid [if] @Disney approve that #billcondon directs it,” she said Sunday. 


It’s pretty outrageous that she would plead for work and throw in some strings. Bill Condon is the director of Beauty and the Beast, which will be released later this year. 


Lindsay knows how to cause a storm, and she’s definitely in the process of creating another. If she thought she would get the job, she would not have been adding her terms to participate. 



Embarrassment aside, it’s certainly a bold way to try and get a job. Maybe they’ll take pity on her or something. 


In the wake of the post going viral, Lohan swiftly edited it and removed everything aside from “#thelittlemermaid.” 


Maybe she woke up to a string of comments from people who felt she was acting a little too desperately. 



In addition, Lohan even tried to get her sister, Aliana Lohan, in on the action, too. She said she envisioned it as a family affair.


Yeah, we’re sure Disney does, too, Lindsay. 



Could you imagine hell freezing over if Lindsay’s version of this project ever came to fruition?


Lindsay has been causing a stir with her comments about wanting to become a Muslim and meet with Donald Trump


Seriously, she’s taken on this whole new persona that’s had everyone questioning whether she’s about to go off the rails. 



What do you think about all of this?


Sound off below!



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Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Lindsay Lohan: I"m a Muslim, But I Want to Meet With Trump!

You can’t really blame Lindsay Lohan for trying to reinvent herself.


After all, at this point she’s been a Hollywood punchline for much longer than she was a legitimate movie star.


Unfortunately, the new persona she’s chosen (Angelina Jolie meets Carmen San Diego-style globe-trotting humanitarian) is one that can’t be entered into lightly, and it seems Linds just didn’t do her research before the unveiling.



She’s like a high school kid who shows up to the first day of sophomore year with a mohawk and a Sex Pistols shirt but still thinks Johnny Rotten is the bad guy from that health class movie about STDs.


Tortured metaphors aside, Linds appears to have jumped into this whole international peacekeeper thing without putting in her due diligence first, which may be how she wound up unwittingly (we think) working as a Turkish spy.


Or writing teary-eyed poems about ISIS.


Or doing engaging of the other misguided BS that she’s stumbled into since she decided she wants to convince the world philanthropy is new her new cocaine.



Anyway, when she’s not engaged in her other vocation of the moment (trying to get Lohan nightclub off the ground so that the proceeds can go to like … some charity or something), Lindsay is busy trying to convince the media that she’s a force for positive change in the world.


Lohan is in the process of converting to Islam, and she now reportedly sees herself as a bridge between the eastern and western worlds.


But, like, a bridge that used to be famous, ya know?



In a must-read interview with The Daily Mail, Lindsay recently opened up about her religious awakening and how she hopes her new faith won’t keep her from meeting with Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin. Seriously.


“It’s a process to convert to anything,” Lindsay said of her conversion. “You cant just convert overnight to a religion.”


Many have pointed out that you totally can convert to a religion overnight, but the really bonkers part is yet to come.


It seems Lindsay wants to have a sit-down with Trump and his BFF Putin, who are both huge fans of the Islamic faith.


“I want to try to get the word out to Donald Trump bring him over there, have him see all the positive things they are doing over there and all America can do to help as well,” Lindsay said when asked about her work in the Middle East.



“He is the president – we have to join him,” she insisted. “If you cant beat him, join him.”


Linds says – and we can’t stress enough that this is not a joke – that she would also like “Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Rachel McAdams” to sit in on the conference.


Brad and Angie, eh? We think it’s safe to say Linds hasn’t been keeping up on the news.


McAdams might seem like a strange choice, but that’s Lindsay’s way of multi-tasking, as she’s still hoping to get that long-rumored Mean Girls sequel going.



We’d say that’s a long-shot, but what do we know?


Not too long ago, we would’ve said a weasel-wigged reality show becoming the leader of the free world was a long shot, too.


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