Woman Dials 911 Over Mistaken Pizza Order

A woman in Connecticut named Ashley takes her pizza ordering very seriously.

And her concept of what constitutes an "emergency" far less seriously.

According to WTIC, Ashley called the authorities a few weeks regarding an order she placed from Empire Pizza.

A recording of the call has been made public… is posted below … and will cause you serious pain from shaking your head so hard in disbelief.

"I just have a question," Ashley says to the 911 operator. "If I order pizza and they don"t want to give me my money back, can you guys do something?"

"Ma"am, that"s something you have to take up with them," the dispatcher replies. "But, that"s not something you would dial 9-1-1 for. 9-1-1 is for life threatening emergencies only."

Incredibly, the far too patient operator did not hang up after this initial exchange.

"Can you call the pizzeria or something?" Ashley asks again.

"Well, what happened?" the dispatcher actually asks in response.

"I ordered a small pizza, half cheese and half bacon. They bring me half hamburger. So I called them back and they don"t want to give my money back. They keep hanging up on me."

That does seem to be a major mistake by Empire Pizza.

But not exactly cause for a police officer to assist.

Did 911 actually send an officer over to her location? YES!

Find out how and why now:

Miley Cyrus Paints Self Pink, Eats Pizza in "Fairy Garden"

Miley Cyrus has put away her pacifier and picked up some pizza.

The singer, who literally acts like a big baby in her latest music video, is posing here for photographer Vijat Mohindra on behalf of Paper Magazine.

And, in case you aren’t sure what’s going on, the artist is very glad to explain… as only Miley Cyrus can.

“I was so sober, I painted myself pink to enjoy a slice in my fairy garden,” Cyrus says, adding:

“I’ve never tried any psychedelics, but I’m not against it. LOL.”

The 23-year old, of course, has always been very open about her love of marijuana, but seems to claim here that she’s never done truly hardcore drugs.

Miley is donning a shower cap (and not much else) for the picture, noting that you may not even notice what else is featured in the image.

“The very small people you see in the bottom right frame are actually just shrunken reflections of my inner self.”

Well, yes. Right. Come on. We knew that, Miley!

As you can see above, Miley shed most of her clothing for a previous spread in Paper Magazine, so we guess this snapshot is actually conservative in nature by comparison.

In her the aforementioned video for “BB Talk,” the singer belts out lyrics while going from her crib to a bubble bath, saying at one point:

“I don’t know what the f-ck I want.”

But that’s clearly not true. Miley wants to eat pizza while covered in pink paint.

We mean, d’uh!

Woman Expresses Eternal, Hilarious Love for Pizza

Nicole Larson, a 19-year old Canadian who resides in Alberta, is in love.

She"s not engaged, yet she feels such passion for her significant other that she hired a photographer to take professional engagement photos.

Because Larson knows this is a love that will last forever and ever and ever.

Did we mention that the photos include Larson and a box of pizza? No? Allow us to explain…

1. Cheesy Affection

Nicole titled this album of pizza-themed photos “Couple Pictures 2015” on Facebook. She’s unashamed of her unabashed close relationship with thise delicous delicacy.

2. An Honest Admission

“I just want you. Nothing else, just you,” Nicole says of pizza on her social media page, adding: “I only did this because my love for pizza is eternal.”

3. A Perfect Partner

What was her motivation for this pictorial? “I wanted to do a spoof of other couples’ pictures because I am single, and in my opinion pizza never lets you down,” writes Nicole.

4. Settling Down with a Slice

Nicole enjoys the view in this romantic photo. She also enjoys some pepperoni, of course.

5. Some Words of Wisdom

“Everyone seems to be caught up in trying to find a partner, but I would just encourage others to find [or] do anything that might brighten their day,” Nicole says. “If that is a boyfriend, great! If it’s eating a full box of pizza to yourself, that is also great!”

6. A Blessed Union

Pizza Hut got word of these photos and sent Nicole a free pizza. We have no doubt that she treated it very well.

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Totino"s Lady Rescues Pizza Rolls From Flood, Gives Amazing Interview

Step aside, Sweet Brown.

Keep it moving, Pizza Rat.

There"s a new viral star in town, and she loves cheese, pepperoni and finding the humor in potentially tragic events just as much as her predecessors.

As you"ve probably heard, Hurricane Joaquin caused record rains and serious flooding in the Southeast over the weekend.

One of the millions affected was the South Carolina native in the interview above.

Thankfully, the woman – whom the Internet has already dubbed "Totino"s Lady" – was able grab her dog and her favorite microwaveable bite-sized snack before she fled from her home.

Not only did Totino"s Lady bring some unexpected humor to a sad situation, she also reminded us one of the most important lessons in life:

There"s always time for pizza rolls.

Milkshake Squirrel Totally Bumps Pizza Rat from the Headlines

Sorry, Pizza Rat. But you are SO yesterday"s news.

A new animal in New York City has sky-rocketed to viral fame. Are you ready to meet Milkshake Squirrel?!?

The woman filming this video and her friends weren’t exactly prepared to do so, but they couldn’t help marveling over the furry little guy after they noticed him scrummaging through a garbage can.

The squirrel is apparently of chocolate milkshakes from Shake Shack, as he snaps up a thrown-away cup of that beverage from the trash can, jumps back over the fence and gulps it all down… right in front of his brand new fan club.

Watch as they laugh over the squirrel and then issue a warning: Careful, dude. You"re gonna get a stomach ache!