Tuesday, April 12, 2016

20 Douchiest Gwyneth Paltrow Quotes in Human History


Gwyneth Paltrow.  The name is synonymous with "Privileged," which must give her license to say the most ridiculous, most obnoxious things in the world.


The Oscar winner and GOOP founder covers the May issue of SELF, which is apt given how much she talks about the organic, pristine, 24-carat life she enjoys.


Let"s take a gander at the droplets of wisdom and advice that absolutely no one can relate to.




1. Americans Are Gross


Gwyneth paltrow valentinos mirabilia romae haute couture collect

“We have great dinner parties at which everyone sits around talking about politics, history, art, and literature — all this peppered with really funny jokes. But back in America, I was at a party and a girl looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God! Are those Juicy jeans that you’re wearing?’ and I thought, I can’t stay here. I have to get back to Europe.”



2. "I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin."


Gwyneth paltrow rh modern gallery unveiling

Can’t you do both?



3. Listen To Your Friend, Beyonce


Gwyneth paltrow speaks at the 25th annual ema awards

“Beyoncé’s like, ‘Okay. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun. She’s like, ‘Remember when we were at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that.”



4. Stop Projecting Your Poor-Person Sh** On Her


Gwyneth paltrow book signing at authors night for the east hampt

“My books are No. 1 New York Times best sellers, my website is growing every day and is very successful. If people who know me and love me have a criticism, then I really want to hear it. But if not, it’s just a projection, like I’m a screen, and it’s not about me, so I don’t absorb it.” (The Kit)



5. Do These Fries Make Me Look Fat?


Gwyneth paltrow the tonight show with jimmy fallon

“We basically can’t live without Vegenaise—it’s a little out of control.”



6. #ScienceTalk


Gwyneth paltrow at goops pop up show in la

“We’re human beings and the sun is the sun — how can it be bad for you? I think we should all get sun and fresh air. I don’t think anything that is natural can be bad for you — it’s really good to have at least 15 minutes of sun a day.” (Cosmo UK)


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