We now know that Tom Brady will definitely miss the first four weeks of the 2016 NFL season due to his Deflategate suspension.
And while most folks in the New England Patriots organization are still grieving over the fact that they’ll be missing one of their team’s two key ingredients (Bill Belichick’s sleeveless hoodies have not been banned by the league … yet.), wide receiver Julian Edelman seems to be loving life these days.
Of course, that could have little to do with his hopes for the Patriots’ season and everything to do with the fact that he’s banging a Victoria’s Secret model.
Yes, according to TMZ Edelman and Adriana Lima are dating.
It’s great news for him, because, well … Adriana Lima looks like this:
But it’s not great news for Pats fans, as no one can be bothered to worry about catching footballs when they’re regularly having sex with Adriana Lima. It’s not possible.
Sure, Brady’s been married to a supermodel for years, but he was grown in a lab using shards of Joe Theismann’s fibula.
The guy’s thought about nothing but football his entire life.
With Edelman, we’re dealing with an actual human being.
If he can get over the fact Lima may have banged Justin Bieber, this could turn into a serious relationship, while may mean the end of his career.
Of course, on the bright side, this could also mean an end to Edelman’s random Tinder hookups and embarrassing post-coital selfies posted by over-zealous fangirls.
We feel like Rob Gronkowski already has the task of sexing the entire population of Massachusetts well in hand, ya know?