We’re learning more and more about prison these days.
First, there was the dangerous for-profit issues addressed on Orange is the New Black Season 4.
Then, there was that footage of men in a cell actually breaking out – while shackled! – to save the life of a guard.
And now we have the story of a man who was being held by the West Midlands Police in Birmingham, UK.
He was only there for 16 hours, but that was enough time for him to use a pen and paper to give an in-depth review of the conditions of the cells at the Perry Barr station.
Yes, this 24-year old (who was being held for “criminal damage” on property) treated his temporary home like a hotel and recounted his stay there in Trip Advisor-like form.
The reviewer only gave the prison three out of five stars, but the authorities were apparently flattered nonetheless because the Birmingham Police Department shared it on their Facebook page.
“Once in my cell I was pleasantly surprised by the cleanliness and décor…neutrally decorated to please all parties but done to a high standard,” the reviewer wrote, adding a note of gratitude to officers for giving him the forum to express his thoughts.
The man did, however, notice a hair on the toilet in his cell and said his neighbor kept screaming curse words for a very long time.
The guest (yes, we use that term loosely) also complained about the cups of tea not arriving in timely fashion.
This is why he only gave the facility three stars overall.
Chief Inspector Paul Minor, West Midlands Police Criminal Justice Manager, said on Facebook that he disagreed with this assessment, writing:
“We feel it’s a five-star facility: it’s designed to be safer for staff and guests and the more efficient check-in process means we can get arresting officers back out on the streets more quickly.”
Concluded Minor:
“The reviewer has been very complimentary about the facility and staff…but I think he’s been a little harsh by awarding it just a three-star rating.”
We love everything about this story.