If you’re like most Americans, by now you probably think you know just about everything there is to know about the Trump family.
Donald’s three oldest children are widely believed to be the architects of his astonishingly successful campaign.
Ivanka’s speech at the RNC was considered by many Republicans to be the highlight of the convention.
Some insiders have gone so far as to claim that if it weren’t for the influence of Ivanka and her brothers Donald Jr. and Eric, there would be no Trump candidacy at all.
But despite all the scrutiny of the Trump kids in recent months, there’s been little focus on his youngest two children, Tiffany, 22, and Barron, 10.
Obviously, they’re not exactly hidden from view:
Tiffany’s Instagram page earned her some popularity on social media long before her father began amassing political clout.
And her speech at the RNC wasn’t quite as well received as Ivanka’s, but she did an admirable job of portraying her father as human who’s capable of any emotion other than seething rage.
But Tiffany has aspirations that have nothing to do with her father’s political campaign.
Sure, she recently graduated from University of Pennsylvania with degrees in sociology and urban studies, but there was a time when Tiffany had more glamorous career goals in mind:
The heavily auto-tuned gem above is Tiff’s 2011 single “Like a Bird,” which apparently recorded with two other “artists,” hilariously named Sprite and Logic.
The studio magic knob is cranked up so high that it’s tough to tell what Tiff is crooning about, but the Internet has had a field day with lyrics like:
“You’re cute and you’re tweeting me/Baby you go beep beep beep,” and “We living it up/Shine like aluminum foil in the club.”
Sounds like the Trump campaign should’ve just chilled and let Tiff write her own speech.
That way she could’ve hit us with pearls of wisdom like, “Diamonds are so shimmery/Special things uncover me.”
Poetry, y’all.
