Monday, November 9, 2015

Kate Middleton to Queen: I DEMAND More Date Nights With Prince William!!

The very foundation of a royal marriage – nay – any marriage is built on the time spent together between man and wife.  So how the devil are the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge expected to keep their union strong if Her Majesty keeps filling up their calendar!



RUDE.


JK JK, this story is a bunch of crap;


OK! has it on made up good authority that the Queen “has approved more romantic dates” for William and Catherine.  


WAIT!  Her Majesty isn’t just going to hand over permission for alone time without demanding something in return.  Do you think Ursula just gave Ariel human legs?


The Queen wants William to take over the couple’s public speaking duties, since Catherine sucks at giving speeches.


Her Royal Highness “hasn’t quite mastered the confidence necessary to properly represent the royals when speaking in public.”



The Cambridges are so excited about their court-approved date nights that they’re planning a vacation to Mustique in late November! 


“[Kate and Wills] are determined to keep the romance alive and put their love first,” a source told the magazine, according to Celebrity Dirty Laundry.


The story also alleges that the Queen can’t stand Carole Middleton and wants her kept away from Prince George and Princess Charlotte (“there are plenty of nannies to help care” for them), and is popping antacid over news about Prince Harry‘s forthcoming love child


Hokay, so even without speaking to any source from Buckingham Palace or Kensington Palace, I can say with full confidence that this story is something out of a poorly-written Hallmark movie.


First of all, William has made it crystal clear with palace courtiers and his family alike that no one, but no one, is to meddle in his private affairs.  Following the untimely death of his mother, the Princess of Wales, those in his inner circle have obeyed the Duke’s requests.


It’s been well documented that the Queen gives her grandson the amount of space he needs in order to build a successful marriage with Catherine.  In 2012 William told biographer Robert Hardman that Her Majesty told him to forget whatever wedding invite list aides had drawn up (full of stuffy royal relatives and the like), start from scratch and invite his and Catherine’s friends first.


Secondly, if there are any “fractures” in the royal marriage, then let’s take a look at William and Catherine’s body language at engagements.  A friend of mine commented that they had “eye sex” during every engagement of their 2013 royal tour of New Zealand.  


As someone who’s made a living studying the British royal family, I am finding it very, very difficult to believe any of the quotes pulled from this story.  The Cambridges may have spent a “romantic” minibreak in Dundee, Scotland, but they also had a day of events there on October 23rd.  And with their alma mater, St. Andrews University about an hour away, it’s very likely they spent the night.



As far as a vacation to Mustique, that’s not likely to happen until January or February; for the past few years Catherine has joined her family on the island for a private holiday.  No tropical vacations are believed to take place from now until the end of the year, since the royal diary is always jam-packed through the holidays. 


The quote about “plenty of nannies” being able to care for George and Charlotte is false because they have one nanny, Maria Borrallo, who graduated from the prestigious Norland College.


As for Carole, what the Queen thinks of Catherine’s mom is anyone’s guess.  The Middletons have been included in everything from the planning of the royal wedding to Christmas Day church service, so if the Queen is not in love with Carole, she’s not showing it.


To summarize, the Queen is almost 90, and upon her death, Prince Charles becomes sovereign.  All of these facts mean that William and Catherine will need to take on more royal responsibilities, leaving them with less time to lead a more private, normal life that they prefer.


This is likely where OK! started sniffing around for some sort of a “scoop.”