Thursday, November 19, 2015

Lindsay Lohan Goes Makeup-Free, Boasts About Acting Job

Warning: Lindsay Lohan’s latest Instagram pic may shock you and cause you to question everything you thought you knew about the world.



At first it may seem to be just another of Lindsay’s no-makeup selfies. (She’s been posting a lot of those lately, leading many to believe that she’s loving her new Botox guy.)


However, on closer inspection, it becomes clear that the photo and caption contain at least two signs of the apocalypse:


  1. Lindsay is looking suspiciously healthy and coke-wrinkle free, which can only mean that she’s reached some sort of agreement with Lucifer himself.

  2. According to her caption, LiLo has actually landed an acting job, which we’re pretty sure is a development that’s described in detail in the Book of Revelation.

Like famed psychopaths Paul Gauguin and Marlon Brando before her, Lindsay has apparently relocated to Tahiti, where she’s involved in some sort of top-secret film project that’s totally not a porn, you guys.


Linds captioned the above photo, “Morning! Ready for day three on set!”


Yes, Lindsay Lohan has apparently held down a job for three days.


But in case you were worried that that means she’s turned some kind of corner and will no longer amuse us with her signature brand of batsh-ttery, fear not:


Just last week Lindsay celebrated the birthday of Charles Manson by dressing as his most famous victim, Sharon Tate.


Prior to that, she wore a fake engagement ring to a Halloween party in hoped of fooling her friends (who totally didn’t buy it).


We get the feeling that Crazy Lindsay isn’t going anywhere just yet.