Get ready, America.
El Salvador’s chastest and pastiest residents are headed back to the U.S. of A!
Yes, the Duggar family announced today that Jill and Derick are coming home.
They’ll be just in time to film the second full season of Jill & Jessa: Counting On, which we’re sure is purely coincidental, as Jill and Derick have reportedly solved all of the region’s socioeconomic problems and made all non-believers realize they were merely victims of stinkin’ thinkin’.
Just to be safe, we’ll point out that that’s sarcasm, folks.
The comments section on these Duggar articles occasionally gets ugly.
Anyway, one production insider says part of the second season of the show will feature Derick and Jill’s efforts to convert El Salvador’s 76% Catholic population to “Christianity.”
If you’re keeping score at home, Catholicism is a sect of Christianity – but its one that doesn’t demand its women use their vaginas to populate small cities, so it doesn’t jibe with the Dugz.
Faith-based colonialism gets boring at a certain point (We think Columbus said that.), so around the mid-point of the season, the focus will reportedly shift to Jill and Der’s efforts to re-adjust to life in the States.
Of course, rumors abound that the couple is unexpectedly returning to Arkansas well ahead of schedule, and many of them have to do with Derick Dillard’s health.
The father of one has been looking unusually gaunt in recent weeks, and many believe he contracted some sort of illness while the family was abroad.
The Dillards have spent the better part of the last year living in various Zika hot zones, but while fans frequently expressed their concerns, Jill and Derick didn’t seem worried in the least.
In fact Derick’s been known to joke about Zika, much to the dismay of his many social media followers.
We may never know exactly why the couple has chosen this month to move back to Tontitown for good … but you can bet the decision process will be televised.