Kim Kardashian may not be able to keep Kanye from blaming black people for slavery, but there’s still one man in her life she can control.
That man is her dog, Rocky, whom she had neutered, as any responsible pet owner would do.
Strangely, she has reportedly purchased fake testicles for him … for a whopping $ 10,000.
According to The New York Times, Kim Kardashian has spent $ 10,000 to purchase prosthetic testicles for her dog, Rocky.
Allegedly, she purchased the Neuticles and had them implanted because she wanted to help Rocky’s self-esteem.
Way back in the simpler times of 2012, Kim Kardashian told The Independent that she “doesn’t like big balls on dogs, or anything else.”
That’s sort of a weird comment in general. Some people are uncomfortable with the sight of their dog’s genitalia, which is a perfectly fine hang-up to have.
It’s the “anything else” line that’s weirder for her to include. Barring inconvenience during a couple of sex acts, who cares about testicle size?
Whatever. Maybe she was trying to be funny. It was 2012.
Regardless, people assume that she purchased Neuticles that were smaller than the originals.
Gregg Miller is the creator of Neuticles, and he does not mince words when advocating for people to purchase his very expensive product.
“Some have their dog turned into a eunuch because they don’t care,” Miller says, according to The Daily Mail.
First of all, who says eunuch unless they’re talking about Ancient Rome or Game of Thrones? Neutered is a perfectly good word, dude.
Second of all, you neuter your dog because you care very much. Responsible humans neuter their dogs.
“But there’s a certain segment of pet owners,” Miller says. “That do care and that’s where Neuticles come in.”
Miller sure has some opinions, folks.
Kim, as you may recall, got Rocky with then-boyfriend Reggie Bush way, way back in 2010.
“Rocky is most like me, his mommy,” Kim said at the time. “He’s really cool and calm, and goes with the flow.”
Kim is not really known for being a dog person, and with the exception of photoshoots and a few pomeranian photos from last year, you’re just not going to see dogs show up on her Instagram. It’s weird.
At the time, Kim revealed that she got into a bit of trouble with Kourtney over Rocky, but it was nothing like Kim and Kourtney’s recent klashes.
“Mason hasn’t really been around dogs that much,” Kim said. “Rocky was licking Mason in the face, and Kourtney was mad at me.”
That’s a weird thing to be mad about.
“I was like, “No, they need to meet!” It was really funny,” Kim described. “And Rocky did calm down after a little bit.”
As we mentioned, Kim is sort of weird about pets.
In fact, she has plainly stated that she forgot what became of various pets that have been gifted to her and her sisters over the years.
We’re talking about childhood pets. And no, not sea monkeys.
If it weren’t for the fact that Kim is clearly a good mother, we might worry that she’s some sort of unloving monster. Because, seriously, who does that?
Kim also doesn’t post many pet photos to Instagram. She’s posted more explanations of a strange mark in the marble of a hotel room in the past year than she has posted photos of Rocky.
Kylie, in the mean time, has made it clear on social media that she is obsessed with her dogs. Which is much, much more normal.
But it seems very clear that Kim cares about Rocky if she’s dropping what to mere mortals would be a sizable down payment on a car to give him fake testicles to help his self-esteem.
Some people just don’t show their love on social media.
Especially when they are celebrities trying to pick and choose what fits their brand.
For Kylie, who was until late last year, a teenager, showing constant dog photos and videos did zero harm to her absolute juggernaut of a brand.
Kim caters to a different, older crowd, and we’re not going to second guess the judgment of the woman who all but invented branding.
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